Inside the Puzzle
by LanieSullivan
Summary: AU: Set after Amanda's rescue from the hands of Addi Birol but prior to the tag in which the agency doctors are having trouble helping Amanda through her recovery due to an unexpected complication. M-rated for the content of a flashback scene in Chapter 2
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: "Scarecrow and Mrs. King" is copyrighted to Warner Brothers and Shoot the Moon Productions. The plot is mine, but not the characters. This story is meant for enjoyment purposes only. No infringement is intended.

Author's note: This is a story that I began writing a couple of months ago and had meant to publish before "Guilty Until Proven Innocent," but then that one took hold for a while before I went back to this one. Now that I have more of this one fleshed out and have two chapters done and three more in progress, it's time for this one to see the light of day instead of just sitting on my flash drive. This is set just after Amanda's rescue from Addi Birol, but before the tag scene with her finding the ring on her desk, which will not happen in this tale as it will be AU. Many thanks to Sheila for providing me much-needed feedback on this. I hope you enjoy it. It is M-rated for one flashback scene in Chapter 2.

**Inside The Puzzle-Chapter One**

Lee Stetson paced relentlessly in his boss' office anxiously awaiting news of Amanda's condition now that she was safe and sound after her rescue from Addi Birol's clutches or so he had thought. "What the hell is taking them so long, Billy? And why the hell won't they let any of us in to see her?"

"Scarecrow, you've got to calm down," Billy said. "They told us they'd call as soon as there was any news. Wearing a hole in my carpet isn't going to do you or Amanda any good. Why don't you go home and get some rest? You haven't had any sleep since this whole thing started."

"I'll rest when I know Amanda's going to be okay and not before," Lee said angrily as he continued his pacing. He paused at seeing the pained look on his friend's face. "I'm sorry, Billy," he said pausing in his pacing and running a hand through his hair.

"No, I get that you're worried, but driving yourself into exhaustion isn't going to alleviate that worry. Go on, go home. Get some sleep and come back in the morning."

"Billy's right, you know," Francine interjected. "Worrying is only going to make it worse. You know how strong Amanda is. She's going to be fine. You should listen to Billy and get some rest."

"I could say the same to you," Lee fired back. "You were right there with me, going in after Amanda."

"Not the whole time I wasn't," Francine countered. "You got captured and I didn't. I've _had _time to rest."

"Oh, great, that's just great," Lee said. "You were off in dreamland while Amanda was-"

"Scarecrow, that's enough!" Billy said firmly in his booming voice. "Are you forgetting that Francine put her own life and her career on the line for you _and _Amanda?"

"No..." Lee sighed and sank down into one of the chairs in front of the desk, "No, I haven't forgotten, but...if...if anything happens to Amanda...It'll be my fault. Birol nabbed her because of me."

"You can't think that way, Lee," Francine said. "Amanda signed on for this job, knowing exactly what the risks were, just like the rest of us." At seeing the icy look Lee shot her way at that comment, she added, "I'm not saying that to be insensitive. It's just a fact. We all know there are risks involved in this job, even Amanda. She knew when she agreed to take this on full-time after the Stemwinder mess that something like this could happen. You can't blame yourself for this."

"But it's my fault. I'm the one who got her involved in this business, me!"

"But you didn't force her to stay in this business," Billy argued. "If you wanna' blame anyone, blame me. I'm the one who offered her the part-time job three years ago."

"No," Lee said.

"Or you could blame Dr. Smyth," Francine suggested. "He's the one who offered her the full-time job in the agent candidate program."

"_Or_ you could put the blame where it belongs, with psychos like Birol," Billy said. "Without guys like him, it wouldn't be necessary for any of us to do the job that we do."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Lee said unable to argue with Billy's logic. He sighed, rose from his seat and began pacing again. "I...I just wish I knew what was going on. This is killing me...the not knowing. Billy, I..." he paused, his voice becoming choked with emotion, "...I can't lose her."

"I know, Lee," Billy said. "But you just have to-" His thought was interrupted by the ringing of the phone. Lee immediately halted in his pacing as he listened intently to Billy's end of the conversation. "Yes, I understand," Billy said with a grim look on his face as he hung up the phone.

"What is it, Billy?"

In a somber tone, Billy began, "That was Doc Kelford. I'm afraid the news isn't good."

"What is it?" Lee repeated. "I mean, she's going to be okay, isn't she?"

Billy sighed, not wanting to agitate Lee further, but knowing that he needed to know what was going on or he'd go crazy. "The fact is, they just don't know. He said that they're having some trouble with counteracting the drugs Birol used on her and Quidd's been down there with her too and he said her mental state is...well...to put it mildly...unstable. They want me down there. You're welcome to come along."

Lee stared at Billy in silence and said, "No."

"But I thought you were dying to see her," Francine said in surprise.

"Oh, I am, believe me, but first I'm going to have a little chat with our guest," Lee said as his anger with Birol flared again.

"I think that's a bad idea, Lee," Billy said.

"No, it's the perfect idea," Lee said firmly. "You said put the blame where it belongs, right? Well, that's exactly what I intend to do!" He then yanked open the door forcefully and quickly made his way through the bullpen toward the internal elevator to the lower level containing the holding cells where he knew Birol was housed.

When Lee reached his destination, he jabbed a thumb at the guard who took one look at the perturbed look on the infamous Scarecrow's face and hightailed it for the door. Lee had barely closed the door when the prisoner taunted, "My, my, Scarecrow, to what to I owe the pleasure?"

Lee crossed the room to his quarry in two long strides, pinning Birol against the far wall and spat out, "Cut the shit, Birol! I'm not your prisoner anymore and neither is Amanda! You're on MY turf now!" He jammed his forearm against Birol's throat and then demanded, "I wanna' know what you dosed Amanda with and I wanna' know NOW!"

Birol only laughed heartily at the pained expression on Lee's face and replied, "Your wonderful American doctors can't figure out what's wrong with her, can they? You...you Americans...You all think you're so smart, don't you? But you don't know...Do you?"

Lee's face fell at the knowing look on Birol's and slackened his grip on him slightly. "What do you know?" He said in a calmer tone. When Birol just laughed again, Lee shouted, "Tell me!"

"You doctors could tell you...If they were looking for the right thing, that is." He wrenched himself loose from Lee's grasp and sank lazily into one of the chairs propping his feet nonchalantly on the table linking his cuffed hands together. "Your Amanda could tell you, if she were coherent enough to answer any questions. I have to give her credit. I'd always heard that American women were soft. Too many luxuries and not enough hard work, but her? Not her. She never broke. I starved her, deprived her of necessary sleep, left her to her own devices in a plain white room and still she maintained her cover." He paused, stared Lee straight in the eyes and said, "Until I hurt her. I barely had to touch her. Slapped her just once and she was cowering in the corner begging me not to hurt her..." he paused again and then added, "...not to hurt her unborn child."

"What?" Lee gaped at Birol.

Birol grinned at the look of utter shock on Lee's face. "Yours, I assume? She _is_ your lover, isn't she?"

"You're lying!" Lee snapped. Surely, Amanda would have told him something like that, would have shared with him the news that he was going to be a father.

"Perhaps," Birol said with a shrug. "Or perhaps she was lying when she said it to avoid having me hurt her some more."

"You will never, _NEVER_, hurt her again. You hear me, Pal!" With one smooth sweep of his foot, Lee kicked the chair out from under Birol, turned on his heel toward the door, satisfied by the resounding thunk of Birol's head hitting the floor. As he exited the room, he gestured to the guard and said, "He may need some medical attention in there." Without another word, he made a beeline toward the elevator to take him to the infirmary to check on Amanda. He had to know if what Birol had said was true.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Dr. Kelford stepped back into the room housing Amanda after making his call to Billy upstairs.

He approached his patient where Dr. Quidd was speaking to her, "Now, Amanda, I want you to tell me again what you saw when Lee arrived. You said earlier that he was dressed in a tuxedo."

"He was, but he... but then h-he wasn't," Amanda stammered. "I...It's all mixed up in my head."

"I know and we want to help you get it un-mixed. For now though, just try to get some rest," Quid responded gently. Having heard Dr. Kelford's footsteps behind him, he stood and turned toward the other doctor, nodding toward the door.

The two men stepped out into the hallway and once the door was closed behind them, the older man questioned, "No change?"

Quidd shook his head and replied, "She still has this image of Scarecrow in her head as this grand movie hero rushing in and sweeping her off her feet. It's a classic defense mechanism while undergoing a trauma like hers. Her mind probably created that imagery to keep herself from going crazy while she was imprisoned. You combine that with starvation, sleep deprivation and the hallucinogens he pumped into her and we've got a mess in her mind. She can't sort out what's real and what's not."

Kelford nodded in understanding, "Well, I called Billy to get him down here. Since he's her immediate supervisor, it's up to him to contact her next of kin for the authorization we need to administer that antidote to clear up that head of hers. I just wish this weren't so complicated." He peered at the closed door of Amanda's room.

"I know, but we can't act without contacting someone. I know how strongly she feels about her children and if giving her the antidote would harm her-"

"I know," Kelford cut in. "You already said that it could do even more damage to her psyche once she's coherent enough to understand it. This is why I hate psychology, hate mind games. Just give me a good old-fashioned disease any day. It's much easier to handle that this."

"Look, I know you don't like me being down here involved in her case, but it's necessary. You saw her and how's she was babbling about champagne and roses and Scarecrow proposing to her. She's clearly living in a fantasy world that I can't seem to snap her out of, not without counteracting the drugs."

"That's what I don't get," Kelford argued. "I've isolated the drug he gave her and it's one of the milder ones. It shouldn't have been anywhere near potent enough to cause this kind of damage."

"Now, come on, you know as well as I do that drugs can affect different people differently." When it looked as if Kelford was going to argue with him again, Quidd snapped, "Look, you just take care of her physical recovery and let me worry about her mental recovery. That's MY job." Kelford nodded. Quidd turned back toward Amanda's room, peered through the glass and said with a sigh, "I just hope Billy gets here soon so he can help us figure out what to do. The longer this goes on, the more likely it is that the effects will be irreversible and that we may lose her to her delusions forever."


	2. Chapter 2

**Inside the Puzzle-Chapter Two**

After his confrontation with Addi Birol, Lee stepped into the elevator, his mind in a whirl. Was it true? Was Amanda pregnant with his child? He knew it was a possibility, but why wouldn't she have told him? He shoved his hands in his pockets as the elevator doors closed, his left hand finding the velvet box he'd stashed there. He pulled it out, flipped open the lid and gazed at the sparkling diamond nestled within it as his thoughts began to drift back to that afternoon six weeks or so ago.

_Lee saw the distress in Amanda's eyes, the worry for her family. It made him hurt to see her hurting. He was kneeling in front of her while she sat on the couch in their one-room hideout. He was holding both of her hands in his in an attempt to comfort her. "It'll be a big risk, but we'll think of something," he said with a slight smile that he hoped would lift her spirits a little. He was rewarded with a grateful smile from her and a soft kiss. Not a passionate kiss, not like some of the other very heated kisses they'd shared since they'd shared their first real kiss last May. It was just a light feather-light brushing of her lips against his before she leaned her head into his as if needing him for support. _

_They stayed in that position for a while just holding each other's hands leaning into each other for comfort. It was a reverent moment, quiet, so he was completely unprepared for what happened next. He felt Amanda release her grip on his hands and the next thing he knew he'd landed flat on his back on the floor with Amanda on top of him kissing him feverishly as if there were no tomorrow. He couldn't help but respond at first. He'd held back his true feelings for her for so long that it felt amazing to have her so close to him when he would have never thought it was possible. He moaned into her mouth at the feelings her kisses were invoking in him. He held her head to his, fingers tangling in her dark curls as he kissed her back with all the love in his heart. He was lost in the moment until she broke the kiss, moved to nibble at his neck, then his earlobe and whispered into his ear in a raspy, passion-filled voice, "Make love to me." _

_Her words immediately set off alarm bells in his head; He gently pushed her off of him and stood up, trying to get his bearings. "No," he said. "Not now."_

_"Why not?" She questioned as she stood up to face him. "You can't try to tell me you don't want to. I may not be as experienced as you, but I've been around the block enough times to know what's what." She gestured to the bulge in his pants caused by their closeness. _

_"I'm not saying I don't want you, Amanda. You have no idea how many times I've fantasized about what it would be like to make love to you, but not here, not like this". He glanced around with a gesture at the shabby room, then stepped closer to her and planted a soft kiss to her lips, then another to her forehead as he slid one arm around her waist, but tried to keep a safe distance to keep them from going too far too fast. "I love you and nothing would make me happier than to make those fantasies a reality, but we need to save it for a better time and place." _

_"We may not have a better time and place. Lee, look at what's going on. The Agency's all over the place hunting us down like we're criminals, not to mention the KGB and what happens if they catch us before we have a chance to clear ourselves? We could end up in prison or worse. One or both of us could get killed in all this! You said you've thought about what it would be like for us? Well, you're not the only one. I can't count the number of daydreams I've had about you and me together and I don't want to die without ever making that dream come true! I don't want to die without ever knowing what it's really like to make love with you."_

_Lee chuckled softly at her ramble and once again took her hands in his. "I don't want that either, but I also don't want either of us waking up tomorrow with any regrets."_

_"The only regret that I foresee is if we don't take the next step while we have the chance when we both know that we may not have a tomorrow," she reassured him as she lovingly stroked his face. "Look, we've spent three years dancing around our feelings for each other out of fear. Now, that we finally know for sure that what we have is real, why should we let fear stop us again? Why can't we just have today and let tomorrow take care of itself? I mean, what are we waiting for?"_

_"I thought I was waiting for you." He chuckled softly._

_"Why would you think that when I've been dropping subtle hints all summer long that I wanted more?"_

_Lee looked at her dumfounded and replied, "That's what you were hinting at? I...Um...I just thought that you were hinting that you wanted me to tell you how I feel about you."_

_"That's ridiculous," Amanda retorted. "You told me that you've loved me for a very, very long time. Well, guess what? I've known for a very, very long time that you loved me without you ever saying the words. You say it every time that we're together in the way you always look out for me, the way you touch me, that way you look at me, that way you kiss me." As if to demonstrate, she lightly brushed her lips against his. "Not knowing how all of this is going to turn out, I don't think we should wait any longer. It's what we both want, isn't it?"_

_"I can't argue with that logical mind of yours," he said releasing one of her hands to stroke her face. "But if we're going to do this, I want us to do it right. Let's just take our time." She smiled and kissed him lightly before moving to shove the coffee table out of the way to make room for the bed she knew was hidden within the sofa. She then went to get sheets to cover it with while Lee removed the sofa cushions and pulled the bed from its hiding place. They worked quietly together both anticipating what was to come. When the bed was made up, they both kicked off their shoes and met at the end of the bed. _

_The time that it had taken to make up the bed had allowed their passion to cool a little and Lee began to hesitate again. He took her hands in his again looking her in the eyes. "You can still change your mind," He said softly. "As much as I want you, I'm okay with waiting." He raised her hands to his lips kissing both of them gently._

_"No," Amanda answered firmly pulled her hands from his and kissed him, taking the lead so that he would know without a doubt that she was serious. "Three years of waiting is long enough." She then reached up to push his jacket off his shoulders dropping it to the floor while he did the same with hers before sliding his hands to her waist to un-tuck her blouse slipping his hands beneath it to feel the warm skin on her back. She still had her hands on his shoulders and used that position to pull him in for a deep lingering kiss. _

_Lee used the added closeness to move his hand further up her back to unclasp her bra before moving his hands toward the front his fingers lightly skimming the sides of her now freed breasts. Lee was the first to break their kiss taking a moment to look into the eyes of the woman he loved and was delighted to see the same love in her eyes that he knew was in his. Amanda reached for the cuffs of his shirt one at a time undoing the buttons before moving her hands to his chest to start on the buttons there. She slowly unbuttoned them one at a time, but paused between each one to plant kisses on each newly exposed patch of flesh. "Oh, Amanda," he sighed at the feel of her lips on his bare skin. She continued this, trailing kisses down his chest and stomach until she reached his belt. She then yanked his shirt out of his pants, made quick work of the remaining buttons, pushed it off his shoulders and down his arms before returning to continue her exploration of him. She started back at the top, nibbling his earlobe before moving down to his neck and attacking the pulse point there reveling in hearing him moan at the contact. She then planted a kiss to his shoulder before moving to take one of his hard nipples in her mouth flicking in with her tongue. "Oh, God, Amanda, You don't know what you're doing to me."_

_She looked up at him and said, "I've wanted to do that ever since that first undercover case we worked together when I saw you with your shirt open. Remember? You told me to get my mind out of the gutter?"_

_"Ha! I knew it! I knew you were thinking naughty thoughts then," he said triumphantly, amusement dancing in his eyes._

_"Not as naughty as I'm thinking right now," she said as she reached for his belt but he stopped her before she could achieve her goal. _

_"No, not yet," he said as he pulled her into a searing kiss, plundering her mouth with his tongue imitating the action he knew their bodies would soon be taking. He tore his mouth away from hers, and then moved to her neck while undoing each button on her blouse one at a time. Having finished with that, he dropped her blouse to the floor while she shimmied out of her bra. He wasted no time in capturing one nipple with his mouth and the other with his hand delighted in hearing the moans he was eliciting from her. He soon switched sides to give the other breast the same attention while using his free hand to unbutton and unzip her pants just enough to work his hand inside feeling the lacy panties underneath._

_"Oh, Lee," Amanda cried out as he expertly stroked her center. _

_Hearing her cry out his name urged him on, He moved closer and moved his lips from her breast to her neck while he dipped first one finger, then two inside her moving it in and out of her while still stroking her center with his thumb. She wrapped her hands around his neck clinging to him for balance unable to control herself anymore crying out over and over again. Lee himself groaned in satisfaction when her felt her tighten around his fingers. _

_Amanda leaned against him for support until the shuddering of her body subsided as Lee removed his hand from her and held her tightly to him. She then pushed her pants off and kicked them aside, her panties following before she returned to the task Lee had stopped her from completing earlier. She made quick work of his belt, his pants and his boxers before he could stop her again. Then when he stood there exposed before her, she gazed at him for just a moment taking in his entire body appreciating his perfectly sculpted muscles, his taut thighs and there was what she wanted for years. She took his erection in her hand and began to lightly stroke him. When she saw him close his eyes groaning at her touch, she lowered herself to take him in her mouth. Lee's eyes opened in his surprise at this, but couldn't help crying out as she suckled him. "Oh, Amanda!" He enjoyed it for a moment but it felt too good, her lips, her tongue, and her teeth lightly grazing him. He knew he'd have to stop her or things would be over way too soon. "Amanda," he said her name again to get her attention, but she continued. He finally had to gently pull her from her location saying, "Amanda, stop." When she didn't stop and added more fuel to the fire by pulling him deeper into her mouth, he reached for her hands and pulled her to her feet. _

_"Really? You seemed like you were enjoying yourself," she said with a grin._

_"Oh, I was," He said kissing her softly. "It was good, __**too**__ good. I was about to be done and I don't want to be done yet, not until..." he hesitated unsure how much he could say without offending her. This was their first time together and he didn't really know what her boundaries were. _

_"Not until what?" she said flicking her tongue against her upper teeth in a seductive manner as she snaked her arms around his neck. "Don't be afraid to say what you're thinking. It's just us."_

_Lee leaned and whispered low in her ear, "...not until I'm inside you." _

_"Now, was that so hard?" she teased. _

_"No, but there's something else that is hard," he said feeling bolder now as he pressed against her before lowering her to the bed lowering himself above her. _

_"So, I noticed," she responded with a giggle._

_"All because of you, you did this to me," He whispered into her ear. Lee clasped one hand with hers, looked into her eyes and said, "I love you, Amanda," before capturing her lips once again as he entered her slowly, not moving immediately, just kissing her while giving her time to adjust to the feeling of him inside her. _

_When he released her lips, Amanda said reaching up to once again stroke his face, "I love you, too, but please don't tease me." She lifted her hips against his and wrapped her legs around him to push him to continue what he'd started. "I need you, all of you."_

_He needed no further encouragement. He had wanted this for so long. He slowly began to move within her, penetrating her in long, slow strokes wanting to make their first time together last as long as possible. As they made love, meeting each other again and again, he looked into her eyes and seeing the love shining out from them brought tears to his own. He buried his face in her neck pelting her neck and her face with soft kisses as he heard her ragged breathing and her moans of pleasure rivaling his own as she raised her hips up to meet him repeatedly. He was in awe at how perfectly they fit together. He felt her clasp her legs tighter around his hips and knew she was close. He picked up the pace a little longing, to feel her muscles clenching around him and he was not disappointed. She cried out his name repeatedly as her climax hit her sending him spiraling over the edge with her. "Amanda," he cried out as he emptied himself inside her filling her completely. _

Lee's thoughts were snapped back to the present by the ding of the elevator. He hastily closed the ring box, shoved it back into his pocket and waited for the doors to open.


	3. Chapter 3

Amanda tossed fitfully in her narrow bed in the Agency infirmary, her thoughts in a whirl. Every time she closed her eyes, she remembered the sting of Birol's hand across her face and him screaming at her about nightcrawler.

_When he reappeared later, he moved as if to strike her again and she shrank away from him in the corner of the room drawing her knees up to her chest protectively and cried, "Please don't." For the first time since her imprisonment, she felt tears slipping down her cheeks. "Please," she pleaded. "Please don't hurt me anymore. I-I-I-"_

_"You what?" Birol demanded. "You afraid?"_

_"Y-y-yes," she stammered. It was the first time since her captivity began that was actually admitting out loud that she was afraid, "B-B-but not for me."_

_"For your lover? For Scarecrow? Is that it?" He loomed over her menacingly, leering at her as he said, "You should be."_

_Amanda shook her head, "Please, if you have any compassion at all." She took a shuddering breath. "Don't...I-I-I'm going to have a baby." With the words finally out, she dissolved fully into tears, sobbing as she pleaded, "Please don't hurt my baby."_

_"Oh, this is just too good to be true," Birol crowed as he laughed at her. "My dear, Amanda, you've given me just the bargaining chip I need to get to your lover." He then exited the room as quickly as he'd come, leaving her once again to her hallucinations and her memories of Lee._

"Lee," Amanda said softly as she opened her eyes and laid a hand on her flat stomach, hoping against hope that there had been no harm done to their unborn child by her abductor. How would she explain to the man she loved that she'd lost their child before he'd ever even known it had existed? He'd never understand why she didn't tell him right away, but she'd only just gotten the news that same morning that Edna D'Angelo had arrived in the Q Bureau with Lee's benefit information talking about a "new bird in the cage" and "bringing on the rice."

She had tried to contain her smile at the other woman's words, but when Lee had walked in, she couldn't control herself. She found herself continually stealing glances his way while he went through the paperwork that Mrs. D'Angelo had left behind and when he'd caught her staring, she'd looked dutifully down at her desk, but still couldn't help the glowing smile on her face. She'd known without a doubt that Lee would be there for her once he learned that he was going to be a father and she'd planned to tell him right away. However, after hearing that he was already thinking of proposing, she had decided to wait, not wanting to put any pressure on him to ask her before he was ready, not wanting him to feel that they HAD to get married. She knew from experience with Lee that he was the kind of man who had to do things in his own time. She closed her eyes again trying to focus her mind on more pleasant memories as she thought back to the conversation they'd had on her back porch once the whole Stemwinder mess had been wrapped up.

_Lee was leaning in for another kiss when they heard her mother cry out through the open kitchen window. "Amanda, did you get him?"_

_Amanda couldn't resist teasing Lee. She looked him in the eye, her arms still around him, and called back to her mother, "I'm working on it!"_

_"You're working on it, huh?" Lee replied with a mirthful grin. "You know you don't have to work on anything, you've got me," He tightened his grip on her, leaned in and kissed her softly. _

_"Do I?" Amanda queried with a mischievous grin once their kiss had ended. _

_"I meant it when I told you that I love you. That hasn't changed just because we're home and safe now." He lightly caressed her face, brushing a loose lock of hair away from her face, touching his lips softly to hers again. _

_"Good, because I meant it too," Amanda replied as she slid her hands up to rest on his shoulders, and just barely grazed his mouth with her own. "I love you, too, Lee."_

_"God, I hope so," He said with a chuckle, his eyes alight and then added, "I would like to think that you don't throw yourself at all men the way you threw yourself at me in our little hideout," he teased._

_"What? I didn't __**throw**__ myself at you," she said slapping him playfully._

_"NO?""_

_"No," she answered firmly._

_"Tsk, tsk, tsk," He shook his head. "I don't know, Amanda. I've been around the block a few times and-"_

_"Oh, I know that," Amanda cut it with a teasing lilt in voice. "More than ONE block." _

_"-And as such," Lee continued undeterred by her interruption, " I've learned a thing or two about how to tell when a woman wants. And,...hmm...let's see...you knocked me to the floor..." He stepped in closer to her, pressing against her so that she was backed up against the house. "You kissed me passionately..." He demonstrated by kissing her firmly, nudging her lips apart with his tongue, eliciting a low moan from her and then raised his head for just a moment. "Then you started nipping an my neck like so..." He lowered his lips to the sensitive pulse point at her neck, teasing her for a moment, then whispered low in her ear, "and begged me to make love to you." He took her earlobe between his teeth suckling at it, causing her to gasp._

_Amanda tried in vain to keep her body from responding to Lee's enticing touch, knowing that her mother was within earshot. She pushed on his chest to put a little distance between them and while she did succeed at that slightly, Lee still kept his hands firmly locked on her waist. She took a halting breath and said, "Okay, first of all, I didn't exactly beg and you didn't exactly protest too much."_

_"Okay, true," Lee replied with a nod, "And I wouldn't change a minute of it." He paused as if lost in thought for a moment, his expression changing from the teasing one to a concerned one._

_Amanda looked at him quizzically and inquired worriedly, "What?" When he was silent, she tried again. "What is it? You don't sound too sure of that. Are you having regrets?" She thought back to his protest that he didn't want either of them having any regrets and felt a tiny glimmer of fear developing._

_"No, NO," Lee stated firmly. "Not about us making love, but..." He sighed, pulled back from her, ran a hand through his hair and said, "But there is one thing...We...Um...we didn't talk about...We took off in such a hurry and I-I never imagined that we'd-" He broke off, sighed again and leaned against the picnic table. "I didn't think...I-I-I mean, I wasn't prepared..." He sighed again, ranked both hands through his hair this time and then finally spit out, "We weren't safe, okay? I've never...not once...__**ever**__ failed to take the proper precautions."_

_"Ohhh," Amanda answered softly, his point hitting her like a runaway freight train. "I...Um...I guess I didn't think about it either. I mean, it's..." This time it was her turn to sigh. "It's...um...It's been so long that I-" She took a deep breath. "I wasn't prepared either. I haven't needed to be."_

_"Yeah," He replied in agreement. ""I haven't either. It's...um...it's been over a year."_

_"Really?"Amanda said in surprise_

_"Come on, Amanda," Lee said looking a bit affronted her the look of shock on her face. "You and I have been seeing each other since last fall, almost a year ago. You didn't think that I-" Lee broke off again and instead of posing his thought as a question, changed hears to make it a definitive statement. "I haven't even been on a date with anyone except you since last October."_

_"I haven't either, not since Alan Chamberlain, but that was really more for the job, so I-" She licked her lips nervously. "I haven't been thinking about things like that."_

_"Huh, not what you said that other day. I seem to recall you saying something about fantasies," He jested as if trying to get them back to the lighter mood they'd both been in._

_"Okay, yes, but that's all it was until-" _

_I get it," Lee nodded, "And the thing is, we weren't just reckless once, but..."_

_"I know," Amanda replied as she thought about the fact that they'd made love the rest of the afternoon and well into the night before falling into a sound sleep wrapped in each other's arms._

_"I mean, this doesn't change anything...between us, I mean. I meant every word that I said. I love you and I want to be with you and no one else, no matter what. I-I-I- Hell, I don't know. I've never been in this situation before."_

_"Well, I have." When Lee looked at her curiously, she added, "Mother of two, remember?" Lee nodded in confirmation, as she continued, "And you know what? It's way too early to do anything about it right now. Why don't we just agree to cross that bridge when we come to it?"_

_Lee breathed an obvious sigh of relief and replied, "Yeah, I think that's a good idea." He approached her, took her hands in his and added, "Amanda, I want you to know that I'll stand by you, no matter what."_

_"I know that," she said confidently as she pulled her hand from his and lovingly caressed his face. She was just about to kiss him when her mother's voice sounded again, this time coming from the direction of the back door that Amanda had slipped out of earlier._

_"Amanda, are you ever coming back inside? Haven't you caught that dog yet?"_

_Amanda turned toward the sound of her mother's voice, thinking that now that her relationship with Lee was becoming more serious, it was time to introduce them. She was just about to do that when her mother questioned, "Was that Mr. Stetson?" Amanda turned to find Lee gone, thinking just how much she hated it when he did that. When she turned back, it was to find her mother with a teasing grin on her face. "So, is that the real dog you were after?" she quipped. _

_"Mother, really," Amanda said with a roll of her eyes as she placed her hand on her mother's shoulder and guided her inside._

_"Now really, Amanda, is that such an insane question to ask? You spent all this time with him, God knows where, doing God knows what and you won't talk about what happened. What's a mother supposed to think? You just took off with this man. You tell me that federal agents are going to show up and when they do, there you are, climbing down the trellis with him from your bedroom, Makes me wonder just what he was doing in your bedroom in the first place." While her mother rambled, Amanda busied herself with the remaining dinner dishes, throwing in an occasional, "Mother," here and there, but it didn't deter Dotty. "Then you make an excuse tonight to sneak out to the back yard and don't think that I don't know what you were really doing out there when you came back in her with your clothes all rumbled and your lipstick smeared..." _

_As her mother continued, she caught a glimpse of Lee slipping through her mother's flower bed along the side of the house. He paused for a moment to grin at her and she gave him a see-what-I-have-to-put-up-with look. Lee chuckled softly, winked at her and then was gone, leaving her to sigh over her sinkful of dishes, but was grateful that her mother had at least stopped asking awkward questions about the agency and had moved on to her love life._

_"If you really like this man, I don't understand why you're hiding him. I mean, from what I saw, he seems to be a pretty attractive man. Not that I got to see much, of course, because it was dark and he took off so fast... That just leads me to another question. What kind of man is this Mr. Stetson of yours that he would just ask you to take off with him, that he would want you to sneak around with him?" When Amanda still didn't answer, Dotty said in a huff, "Amanda."_

_"Yes, Mother?" Amanda replied innocently._

_"Darling, have you heard a word I said?"_

_"Yes, Mother," she answered simply. "I heard every word," but didn't give her mother any more information that that, a tiny smile crossing her face at the memories of the time that she and Lee had spent together alone._

The memories of her mother's interrogation caused Amanda to sigh in her bed again as she wondered what her mother would think, how she'd react if she'd known everything that had gone on while she and Lee were on the run, if she knew that it had resulted in the conception of her third grandchild. She'd just deal with that another time. Right now, she just wanted the doctors to tell her what was going on with her baby, if there still was one, that is. She desperately wanted to see Lee, but not before she knew if she had some news for him or not.


	4. Chapter 4

Lee entered the agency's infirmary to find Billy engaged in a heated discussion with Dr. Quidd and Dr Kelford, Francine sitting in a chair opposite Amanda's room. "Billy, come on, be reasonable!" Quidd argued. "We have to do something for her and soon!"

"I already said no! The last time I checked I was still the boss and that means that I call the shots around here! We're not involving her family, not unless we absolutely have to!"

"Billy, think about it," Francine put in from her seat, in a much cooler tone that her superior. "If that's what it takes to help Amanda, maybe we should think about it."

"Hey, what the hell's going on here," Lee shouted.

Quidd began to speak, but was stopped by Dr. Kelford's hand on his shoulder. "What's going on here, Scarecrow, is that your partner's in some bad shape," he said while Quidd fixed Billy with a pointed look, "And we're going to need to contact her next of kin to make some medical decisions on her behalf."

"Why?"Lee demanded. "What's going on with her that's so bad that she can't she make her own medical decisions?"

"Do you have any idea what Birol did to her," Quidd snapped. "Her mind is such a mess that she can't even tell us what day it is."

"Of course she can't," Lee countered as he approached the psychiatrist, getting right up in his face. "Have you ever been held captive?" Without giving the other man a chance to respond. "No, you haven't, Doc! You sit in your nice big office, in your nice fat overstuffed chair with your files and your pencils, taking your little notes and you try to relate to us, but you don't know what it's really like for us. Let me tell you something! I _have_ been held captive, several times, sometimes for days on end! When shit like that happens, you're lucky to remember your own name, let alone what day it is!"

"Scarecrow, back off," Billy bellowed as he pulled him away from Quidd and shoved him toward the row of chairs outside Amanda's room causing Lee to have to catch himself on one of the chairs to prevent him from toppling on top of Francine. "Now, sit down until you cool off!"

"Billy!"

"Do it!" At seeing that he wasn't going to win this argument, Lee flopped down into the chair next to Francine, heaving a deep sigh.

Francine gave Lee a sympathetic look as Billy turned back to Quidd, but before he could say anything, Francine stated bluntly, "You know, Lee has a point. When I was held hostage earlier this year, I didn't know which end was up. I was lucky even to remember my cover, let alone anything else. Why do you think I worked so hard to help Lee get Amanda back? I didn't want her to go through the same hell that I did."

"Thank you, Francine," Lee said in a much calmer tone, grateful for his friend's support, but worrying to death about Amanda and whatever hell Birol had put her through.

"There's more to it than that," Quidd, also in a calmer tone said. "She's still living the hallucinations that she was having while she was held captive."

"Now, just hold on," Dr Kelford chimed in, "I already told you that a big part of it could be just a result of sleep deprivation and starvation making her mind play tricks on her."

"Couldn't he be right?" Lee questioned hopefully. "Couldn't she be okay with just catching up on her sleep and getting some decent food in her?"

"Look," Francine said as she jumped to her feet, eyes flaring, "The two of you arguing over her care or her course of treatment isn't helping her. Why don't you both get over this macho pissing contest and try to do what's best for her instead of arguing over who's right or wrong?"

"I'm afraid it's not that simple," Dr. Quidd replied. "Birol used some mind-altering drugs on her-"

"Which I told you should have had very minimal impact on her, not in the doses he gave her," Kelford cut in.

"And I told _you_ that different drugs affect people differently and this one combined with all the other stuff that was done to her could have-"

"Enough, both of you!" Francine broke in, stepping between the two men, looking from one to the other. "Don't you care about your patient at all? She's the one you should be worried about. Do whatever it takes to bring her back!"

Quidd and Kelford looked at each other worriedly. "We'd be happy to," Kelford answered. "While we may disagree on a lot, one thing that we do agree on is that we shouldn't proceed with any course of treatment without speaking to her family."

"I already told you that that's not an option," Billy interjected. "Not without exposing the agency and potentially putting them in danger." He shook his head. "I can't allow that, not when she's a mother of two young boys."

"That's part of the problem," Quidd muttered low as he folded his arms across his chest.

"What's the real problem here, Doc?" Lee questioned having heard Quidd's barely audible comment. Had Birol been telling the truth? Was Amanda pregnant? "I thought Billy said that you were having trouble counteracting the drugs he gave her, like maybe you didn't have an antidote or something or maybe didn't know what he gave her."

"No, Scarecrow," Kelford answered. "We know exactly what he gave her and we have the antidote."

"So, why aren't you giving it to her?"Francine queried with a confused look on her face. "Help her."

"There's...um...a complication..." Kelford began.

"What complication?" Billy asked.

"Well, aside from the fact that we don't know for sure that the drugs her gave her are potent enough to have done this damage to her mind," He gave Quidd a pointed look, "Giving it to her without her permission or that of someone close to her raises an ethical issue."

"How so?"

"Because the counteracting drug could harm not only her..." Kelford's voice trailed off and he looked at the group hesitantly.

"She's pregnant," Quidd stated bluntly with a glare at Kelford's sheepish expression. At those words, Lee buried his face in his hands; Francine gaped at the two doctors, a look of utter shock on her face while Billy just looked at Lee for his reaction to the news. "That's why we want to contact her next of kin."

"Giving her the drugs could cause harm to her child," Kelford added.

There was a long moment of silence to which Billy was the first to respond. "What if we could contact the baby's father instead?" he suggested. "He should be involved in a decision like that and then we could still keep her family out of it." Billy looked back at Lee to see that he'd removed his face from his hands, but was now staring silently at the floor and then turned back to the doctors. "That would be sufficient, wouldn't it?"

"Yeah," Quidd replied with a nod. "Do you know who it is?" At having seen Lee's reaction to her abduction, he had an idea as he reflected back on his conversation with Billy regarding the younger man's emotional attachment to his partner.

"I have my suspicions," Billy responded with a knowing look at Lee, wondering why he wasn't saying anything.

"I just can't believe this," Francine said when the shock had eased a little. "Amanda King, little miss wholesome..." she said in a musing tone.

As the conversation continued around him, Lee was lost in his own thoughts, the words of the others registering in his mind, but not at its forefront. He reflected back on all the times that he'd seen Amanda with her children, what a loving, doting mother she was. His agitated brain was flooded with memories, but one in particular stuck out to him more than any other.

_"I may be sleepy, but I'm not dead," Amanda said as she tugged at his arm to pull him down to her for a long, lingering kiss. _

_When their kiss ended, Lee replied with an impish grin, "Oh? Is that so?'_

_"MM-hmm," Amanda murmured as she propped herself up on the arm of the couch and then leaned in a lightly brushed her lips against his. _

_"You feel up to some dinner," Lee asked._

_"Yeah," Amanda answered as she sat up fully, stretching and yawning. "I have to try these famous frittatas of yours."_

_"Good." Lee beamed at her as he reached for her hand, which she readily took, and he helped her to her feet. He handed her one of the champagne glasses then picked up the other for himself as they made their way into the dining room together. He held out a chair for her, helped her ease her way into it then began to serve their late dinner. A thought struck him as he watched her sip at her champagne. "Um...Amanda...?" he said hesitantly, no sure how to broach the subject. _

_"Mmm?"_

_"Should I get you something else to drink?" He nodded toward the champagne flute in her hand. "I mean, if you...Or if we..." When Amanda looked at him quizzically, he couldn't help wondering why it was so hard for him just to spit out what he wanted to say. He sighed and blurted out, "Aw, hell, is it safe for you to be drinking when you might be pregnant?"_

_"Ohhh," Amanda said softly as she set her glass down. She took his hands in hers and replied, "One glass isn't going to hurt anything, but there's more than that on your mind, isn't there?"_

_Lee sat down next to her with a sigh and nodded. "Yeah, there is. I...I, I just wonder what we're going to do...If you are, I mean. I know we said we'd cross that bridge when we came to it, and I said that I'd stand by you and I meant that, but I guess I kind of..." Lee looked down at the floor unable to make eye contact with her. _

_"Lee?" When he didn't respond, she ran a hand through his hair, and then rested her hand on his face. "Lee, look at me." When he finally did, she asked, "What is it that you really want to know?"_

_Lee sighed again and his words came out in a rush. "I want to know what you'd want to do. Would you keep the baby? I mean, if there is one? I know that women have all kinds of options and we never really talked about this in depth, just decided to table the discussion until we knew something for sure, but, Amanda, I HAVE to know. I mean, you're already single mom to two kids and having another one would put more pressure on you and I want you to know that if you decide to keep the baby, I'll do my part, live up to my responsibility."_

_Amanda chuckled softly. "I know that, Lee. I never had a doubt in my mind that you would. What I can't understand is why you'd have any doubt what I'd want to do. There's no question that I'd keep the baby. I mean, you're right, women have a ton of options these days, but for me...For me there's only __**one**__ option."_

_Lee breathed a sigh of relief and replied with a glowing smile, "Good." _

_"Feel better?" Lee nodded. "Good." Amanda planted a quick kiss to his lips and said, "Now, let's eat this dinner you made before I fall asleep in my plate."_

_Through the rest of their dinner, they chatted lightly, talking about Zhmed and his new life, and she'd told him of the big weekend Joe had planned with the boys and how it freed her up to spend the whole weekend with him. During their conversation, Lee self-consciously lowered his hand to his pocket and the ring box hidden there. He had set up this romantic evening for the two of them so that he could give it to her, but after seeing her yawn her way through dinner, he thought it better to wait awhile. Sure, enough when dinner was over and he'd finished the clean-up from it, he re-entered his living room to find Amanda sound asleep on his couch._

_He shook his head, lifted her gently into his arms and carried her to the bedroom where she could sleep more comfortably. When she stirred, he helped her in her sleepy state to get undressed, then while she was drifting back to sleep, undressed himself and slid between the sheets beside her. As soon as he did, she drifted into her arms said dreamily, "You sounded like you had something else on your mind."_

_Lee brushed a feather-light kiss to her forehead and softly whispered, "Another time."_

"Scarecrow," Dr. Kelford's voice sounded snapping Lee out of his memories.

"Hmmm?" Lee murmured while he still stared at the floor, vaguely aware that they'd been talking about contacting whoever it was that had gotten Amanda pregnant. Without looking up, he said, quietly, but firmly, "Don't give her the drugs."

"I'm afraid that's not your call. I know you're her partner, but-"

Lee rose to his feet, looked Kelford squarely in the face and countered, "Yes, it _is_ my call. I'm more than her partner; I'm the baby's father."


	5. Chapter 5

Lee's proclamation was met with a knowing smile from Billy, an arched eyebrow from Quidd, a worried frown from Kelford, and a stunned wide-eyed look from Francine as they stood in silence, all eyes on Lee.

The awkward silence was finally broken by Francine with, "I'm sorry. Could you repeat that?" when she finally found her voice again.

"You heard me, Francine. The baby Amanda's carrying; it's mine. That's why you..." he nodded his head toward Dr. Kelford and then pointed an accusing finger at Dr. Quidd, "...and especially you, aren't laying a hand on her. You got me?"

"You do realize that if we don't give her the antidote, that's only going to prolong her recovery, make her suffer longer," Quidd stated plainly.

"Well, let me ask you this; will she recover without them and still keep our baby safe?"

"Yes," Dr. Kelford answered before Quidd could answer with something negative that would set Lee off again.

"Eventually," Quidd added. "That is, if we can somehow bring her back to reality and help her to separate her delusions from the reality, but that's a-'

"Knowing what we know now, you might be helpful in doing that," Kelford said, cutting Quidd off before he could fully voice his pessimism.

"Then I don't care as long as she recovers," Lee countered. He knew that with the way Amanda loved her children, the way that she'd told him there was only one option for her if she were pregnant, that she'd never forgive him for allowing something to happen to their unborn child if he could do something to prevent it. "You're not doing anything that's going to harm my child. Do you hear me?" He had promised Amanda that he'd live up to his responsibility and that was exactly what he was doing.

"Lee, are you sure that's what's best for her," Billy asked him, his dark eyes seeming even darker with worry.

"I made a promise to her, to stand by her and damn it, Billy, that's what I'm going to do! I already let her down once by not protecting her. God, what kind of father am I going to be if I can't protect my family?"

"Lee, you can't keep blaming yourself."

"Why not? It's my fault. You put me in charge of this operation and I failed. Not only did we not get Birol, but he got Amanda and did God knows what to her, did God knows what to our son or daughter."

"Lee, stop it, Man. Don't do this to yourself. You put Amanda where you thought she'd be safe. None of us could have predicted what Birol was going to do, especially when his own people didn't even know what he was up to."

"I should have known, should have known something wasn't right about it, should have done something. He began pacing, running a hand through his hair as he talked. "God, look at me. My child isn't even born yet and I'm already failing as a father."

"I'm sorry. One more time," Francine said still thrown by the bombshell Lee had just dropped. "I'm just still having trouble hearing you referring to yourself as a father."

"Come on, Francine. How many ways can I say it? That's my child in there," He gestured wildly toward the room on the opposite side of the hall, "Amanda's and mine."

"O-kay," she said looking at him skeptically. "You mean that you and Amanda-" she broke off abruptly unable to even finish thinking what she was about to say.

"What?" Lee snapped. "Go ahead and finish!'

"You slept with her," Francine said softly.

Lee glared at the blonde and said, "How else do you think it would have happened?"

"Does that really surprise you given Scarecrow's reputation?" Quidd interjected, earning him a murderous look from Lee much like the one he'd word in Billy's office a few days ago after Amanda had first been taken when Quidd had threatened him with a medical order to keep him off Amanda's case.

"Hey, hey, hey," Billy cut in before the debate could escalate, recognizing that look in Lee's eyes. He then turned toward Lee and questioned with a concerned look of his own. "Did you know that she was pregnant?"

"No, not until just now. I'd never have risked putting her anywhere close to the line of fire if I had," Lee answered. "I...Um...I mean, we...we both knew that it was a possibility, but we didn't know for sure." He was silent for a beat as he thought back to Birol's words, how he'd taunted him about Amanda pleading for the life of her unborn child. "Or at least, _I_ didn't"

"You think Amanda knew and didn't tell you?"

Lee raked a hand through his hand and let out a sigh, "I don't know. I-I just don't know, okay? Birol said something..." he trailed off.

"How did this happen?" Francine asked with the stunned look still on her face.

"How do you _think_ it happened, Francine?" Lee asked incredulously. "What, do you want a play by play? Surely, as much as you've been around, you know how babies are made."

Billy chuckled and said, "He makes a good point."

Francine rolled her eyes at her boss, and then turned a cool glare on Lee. "Yes, I know and you know something, I may have been around the block a few times, but you've been around that whole damn world!" She jabbed a finger into his chest.

"Francine, cool it," Billy warned.

Francine took a deep breath and in a softer tone, "You know what I mean, Billy. Typically, it's not like Lee to be reckless in that type of situation."

"You oughtta' know," Lee fired back. Francine shot him another icy glare. Lee sighed and said, "Look, you're right. I've never typically let my guard down before, but our situation wasn't typical," Lee said as he thought of how similar this conversation was to the one he'd had with Amanda about it on her back porch. "We were on the run from our own people, being hunted down by the KGB and not knowing if we'd ever get out of the mess we were in, we...Um... Well, neither one of us was prepared and we...we got a little careless."

"Stemwinder," Billy said softly.

"Yeah." Lee nodded.

"Huh," Was Francine's reply. "Now, it makes total sense. I can just picture the whole scene. You, Amanda, on the run together in your cozy little hideout, with her scared out of her mind and you, lothario that you are, telling her how desperate your situation is and that you might die or end up in prison: pleading with her that you just might not have another chance."

Lee shook his head and laughed dryly, "Not bad, Francine, except for one thing..." He paused for a beat, gave her his best Romeo grin and said, "I wasn't the one doing the pleading, Amanda was."

"Mm-mm, I don't believe it," Francine said with a shake of her head.

"Believe it or don't, Francine. I don't care, but it's the truth," Lee retorted, his face hardened again.

"Even if it is, did you have to take advantage of the situation? I mean, come on, this is Amanda we're talking about."

"I didn't take advantage of _anything_," Lee said his voice rising as his anger flared again at her accusations. "This wasn't some tawdry one-night stand like you're making it out to be. I care very deeply about Amanda."

"Oh, I'm sure you do now that you know that she'll sleep with you," Francine fired back caustically.

"You want proof that I care about her as more than just a fling." He dug in his pocket, pulled out the ring box, and thrust it into her hand. "Here!"

"What's this?" Francine questioned, a bit awed. Surely, it couldn't be what she thought it was.

"Go on! Open it and find out!' Lee demanded.

Francine opened the box and gaped at the ring inside while Billy looked on in amusement. "It's...It's..."

"Yeah," Lee huffed. "I've been carrying that thing around with me for damn near six weeks straight looking for the perfect opportunity to give it to her, to ask her to be my wife."

"Does she know this?" Quidd asked.

"Not about the ring," Lee answered, "but after I was captured, I knew I might never have another chance to let her know how I feel about her. It was stupid, but I asked her to marry me then and there."

"You did?" Francine asked the surprise evident in her voice.

"Yes, I did," Lee said as he took the ring box back from her, glanced at the diamond within it for a moment. "I just didn't have this with me at the time because of the gear I was wearing when I broke into Birol's place to rescue her." He closed the box, put it back in his pocket and with a sneer toward Francine, said, "Now, do you see how serious I am about her?"

"Yeah," she replied softly. "I-I just...I'm surprised, that's all."

"I don't know why you're so surprised," Billy cut in. "You saw how upset, how worried he was when Birol nabbed her."

"Yeah, I know but I...I don't know. I guess I thought that it was still residual guilt over losing his previous partner. You know how Lee is with the self-induced guilt trip."

"That's not what this was about and don't you dare bring Andy into this!"Lee said testily. "What happened to him..." He clenched his jaw. "It...it wasn't fair. This isn't even close to the same thing!"

Billy, feeling the need to step in again and steer the conversation into safer territory, said to Francine, "Think about when we were investigating during that whole mess, we found out that they'd been seen numerous times together at Emelio's. You interviewed the bartender yourself who called them regulars. That tells me and should tell you too, that they've been seeing each other for awhile." He then turned his attention to Lee and asked, "Exactly how long have you been seeing each other. Socially, I mean."

Lee sighed and responded, "A little over a year now. Things just started getting really serious between us in May. We spent almost every night this summer going to movies or out to dinner or just hanging out spending time together."

As he described the evolution of his relationship with Amanda, his mind flashed back to one particular night during the summer.

_"Mmm," Lee sighed in contentment on his sofa as he snaked his arms around his girlfriend, the kisses that they'd been sharing growing more heated by the minute, Amanda's hands locked behind his neck as they devoured one another._

_When they finally broke apart both gasping for breath, Amanda rasped, "Wow."_

_"Mm-hmm," Lee concurred as he lightly grazed her lips again with his own._

_Amanda leaned her head against his and said, "Thanks for dinner"_

_"Did you like it?" He asked as he idly stroked her back._

_"Very much," she answered, kissed him once more and added, "but I think I like the dessert even better." She then scooted over into his lap and nibbled at the pulse point of his neck. _

_"Ohhh," Lee sighed at the contact. _

_Amanda trailed tiny kisses up his neck, then nipped at his earlobe and whispered huskily into his ear, "You know, Joe has the boys for two whole weeks of their summer vacation, so I don't have to be home anytime soon."_

_Alarm bells began sounding loudly in Lee's head at her words. She couldn't possibly mean what it sounded like she meant, could it? "Amanda, I...As nice as this is...You know, we do have to be at the office early in the morning." He then gently pushed her off his lap as he tried to control his raging desire for her not wanting to push her too far too fast and risk ruining things between them. He'd made that kind of mistake in the past and Amanda was too special to him to go down that road again. "It's...um...it's getting kind of late." He stood up and reached for her hand to pull her to her feet. "I...um...I mean, we... should get some rest." He walked to the door and opened it. "I'll walk you to your car."_

_"Um...Okay," Amanda said the disappointment evident in her voice. _

As the memories washed over him, Lee realized just how dense he'd been in hurrying her out the door as he thought of the afternoon a few months later when she said she'd been dropping hints. How could he have been so stupid not to realize how much she had wanted to take their relationship to the next level? Of course, he didn't tell Billy or Francine any of that as he continued. "Then when we had to run, that was the first time that we-" he broke off, blushing slightly.

"And you weren't seeing anyone else during that whole time?" Francine queried, her voice still dripping with skepticism.

"No, Francine. I haven't even looked at another woman since-"

Lee's words were cut off by a loud shriek from Amanda's room of "LEE!"

"Amanda!' He cried as he made his way to her room, but found his path blocked by Quidd.


	6. Chapter 6

Lee rushed toward Amanda's room calling her name, but was stopped by Quidd who held out both of his hands in a warning gesture. "Hold it right there, Scarecrow. You're not going in there."

"The hell I'm not," Lee retorted as he attempted to force his way past the surly psychiatrist. When Quidd wouldn't budge, Lee narrowed his eyes at him, his jaw clenched as he balled up his fists and barked, "Are you gonna' move or do I have to _make_ you move?"

"Look, you're in no shape to see her in the state that you're in. She's needs a calm influence right now." Hearing Amanda scream Lee's name again, Quidd said, "See? Can't you hear the terror in her voice?"

"Yeah, I hear it and I also hear her calling my name, not yours, so get the hell out of my way."

"Not until you calm down. Dr. Kelford can check on her. I think you and I need to take a walk down to my office and have a talk."

"Screw you and your office," Lee fired back and finally shoved his way past the doctor and into Amanda's room to find her sitting bolt upright in her bed.

"Lee!" Amanda cried again at seeing him in the doorway. This time it was not a fearful cry, but one of relief.

"I'm here," Lee said in a soothing tone as he rushed to her side, embracing her tightly as she trembled against him, not caring that he'd heard thunderous footsteps behind him, knowing he'd been followed into her room. Feeling Amanda clinging to him tightly, he gently rocked her to ease her fear and calm her sobbing. "Shh, Honey, I'm here." He placed a tender kiss to the top of her head as he just continued to hold her until she was calmer.

The two doctors stood and watched as the tension in Amanda's body slowly drained while Francine who stood in the doorway with Billy, looked at her boss and mouthed, "Honey?" Billy just grinned back at her.

When Amanda tugged at Lee's shoulders, he pulled back a little, but didn't fully release her. He brushed her sleep-rumpled hair out of her face and at seeing silent tears slipping down her cheeks, inquired, "Hey, what's going on here?" as he tenderly brushed them away.

"I-I-I had the most awful n-n-nightmare that B-Birol killed you right in front of m-m-me," Amanda stammered her shaking somewhat lessened, but a twinge of fear still present in her eyes. "I-I-I just kept seeing him raising the gun and I-I was so afraid that all I did was hide behind you while he shot you right in the face.

"Shh," Lee whispered softly. "That never happened. He didn't kill me."

"He...he didn't try to shoot you?" Amanda asked in confusion.

"See?" Quidd crowed triumphantly.

Lee fixed Quidd with a stern look, then turned back to his fiancée' and explained, "Yes, Amanda, he did, but it was just a ploy to scare us. The chamber was empty.

Amanda closed her eyes for a brief moment as if lost in thought and then opened the. She slowly nodded, "I remember now. You tried to rush him thinking the gun was empty and he said that he did have a bullet under the hammer and then asked if you wanted it."

"That's right, Amanda," Lee confirmed. "He was just toying with us, taunting us."

"Everything's just so mixed up," Amanda said with a sigh. "I...I...I'm not sure what's real anymore."

"I'll tell you what's real," He reached up to hold her face in both hands as he had when he'd first seen her in captivity. "This is real." He lightly brushed his lips to hers. He pulled back when she winced, a look of worry in his eyes. "Amanda, what is it?"

"It's nothing, just...Um...it hurts...just a little," she stammered.

Lee gently turned her head and when he saw the bruise on her face, he growled, "Did Birol do that to you?" When Amanda simply nodded, Lee swallowed hard to contain another flare of temper as he remembered Birol taunting him about slapping her. He took a deep breath and said sheepishly, "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"No, don't be. It's good," Amanda answered as she reached for his hands holding them tightly in hers. "I can actually feel you," She smiled as the memories came flooding back.

"Best hallucination yet," Lee replied with a smile of his own.

"The best," she answered back as she removed one hand from his and lightly fingered the heart-shape that rested against her chest. "Then you gave me this back."

Lee nodded, "Mm-hmm." He reached for the heart, clasping his hand around hers. "We're gonna' have to make a trip to the jeweler's to replace the clasp on it where Birol broke it." He lightly caressed her face with his other hand and added softly, "I'm just glad that he didn't break you."

"Hmph," Quidd scoffed.

"When can I get out of here?"Amanda asked Lee. She glanced around nervously and shuddered slightly at the white walls in the room, then up at the bright overhead lights, and then back at Lee. "It's...it's too bright in here. It's like...like I-I-I'm there all over again." Panic began to rise in her voice as she squeaked out, "I-I-I can't stay here. I...you have to get me out of here."

Lee glanced over at Quidd who firmly shook his head, then back to Amanda and said, "Listen, I need to talk to the doctors here, but I promise I'll be back soon, okay? Don't you worry; you're safe now. We both are." He planted a kiss to her forehead, rose from his perch on the side of her bed and then turned to face the two doctors. "We need to talk," Lee stated firmly and gestured with his head to the door. "Billy, I...Um...I don't want her to be alone. Can you...?"

"Yeah," Billy answered before Lee finished, stepping further into the room to keep an eye on Amanda for him.

"I'll stay with her, too," Francine offered.

Lee gave her a wary look and replied, "Uh-uh. Not if you're going to be your usual self."

"Look, I reacted badly to the news you gave us. I get that, but you can trust me. I helped you get her back, didn't I?"

"Yes," He conceded, "But not a word of negativity to her. You got that?"

Francine held up her hands in surrender and nodded. "Not a word of it."

"Good." Lee nodded firmly and waited for the doctors to exit, flipping off the light switch as he the room behind them, leaving the room bathed in just the softer glow of the lamp on the bedside table.

"How are you feeling, Amanda?" Billy asked as he and Francine took a seat on each side of her bed.

"I'm okay, all things considered," Amanda answered in an upbeat tone considerably calmer now that she'd seen Lee and now that she was not alone. "I just really wish I could get out of here, I-I-I wish the doctors would tell me what's going on, but they keep..." Her eyes flared with a slight twinge of anger. "They keep treating me like I'm helpless...or crazy...or fragile...but...I...I'm really okay. I ache and I'm worried and I'd kill for a big fat cheeseburger right about now, but I'm okay."

Billy chuckled at Amanda's ramble and said, "You seem okay, Amanda. Maybe when Lee gets you out of here, he can get you that cheeseburger."

Amanda shook her head and replied, "No, not for a while anyway, not until my stomach settles down a little. I...um...I haven't been able to keep down any solid food since they brought me in here last night." She held up her arm, showing them her IV. "That's why they've got me hooked up to this. I tried to tell them..." She trailed off wondering if they knew what was really going on, if they knew by now that she was pregnant, or if she even still was pregnant. The doctors had been so busy fussing over her, treating her like a china doll and arguing with each other about the best course of treatment for her that they never once bothered to ask her what she thought.

"Tell them what, Amanda?" Billy probed gently.

Instead of answering his question, Amanda asked him one, "Did they tell you anything? About me, I mean? About my condition?" She looked down at her hands as she began fiddling with them nervously.

"Are you trying to ask if we know that you're pregnant?" Francine asked with a slight smile at Amanda's obvious embarrassment. "It's okay, Amanda, we know," she said in a gentler tone as she patted her hand sympathetically and when Amanda looked up at her, she added, "We also know that Lee's the one responsible."

"No," Amanda said softly.

"What?" Francine looked more shocked than she had upon learning that they'd slept together. Lee was sure that he was her baby's father, but now Amanda was saying that he wasn't. What was going on? Was there more to Amanda that she'd thought?

"I'm confused, Amanda," Billy jumped in at seeing the look on Francine's face, not wanting to give his well-meaning, but rather tactless assistant any opportunity to jump on Amanda. "Lee told us that you've been seeing each other for some time now. Are you saying that Lee's not the baby's father?"

"Um...no...I mean, that's not what I mean. Yes, he's the baby's father, but he's not entirely responsible. I mean, I was there too. It's actually more my fault than his. I'm the one who got things started. I practically attacked him." She looked down at her hands again as the memories flooded her mind.

_"Oh my God," Lee said trying to catch his breath as Amanda collapsed atop him on the rickety bed, also breathing heavily. He wrapped his arms around her plastering her face and her neck with kisses. _

_"Is that an "oh my God" of complaint or contentment?"She teased._

_"A little of both. That was something else, but now I feel like I've been violated," he said with a devilish grin. "In all my fantasies, I never imagined you would be so..."_

_"So...what?" she said with an arched eyebrow._

_"...so forceful, so domineering, the way you flipped me over with no warning and pinned me to the mattress."_

_She laughed and said," Well, I don't know why you're so surprised. After three years, you should know by now who had the real balls in this relationship."_

_"Hey!" he said with a playful slap to her bottom a little shocked at hearing the word "balls" come out of Amanda's mouth. "It's so good to hear you laugh," he said as he ran his fingers through her thick hair."I know with the scary situation we're in right now we may not have much to laugh about, but it's good to hear it for now."_

_"Yeah, I know it's scary but we'll get through it and everything will be fine," She said with her typical optimism as she shifted to lie on her side her head on his shoulder draping one arm across his chest._

_"What happened to one or both of us could get killed? Or was that just a line you used so you could seduce me," He teased. He felt her shiver slightly and pulled the covers over them._

_"Me? Seduce you? Mm-mm." She shook her head._

_"Mm-hmm, that's what I thought," he said knowing that when she didn't want to lie to him she would just repeat the question she'd been asked._

_"Do you really mind, though? You can't deny this is something that we've both wanted for a long time." As they talked, she trailed her fingers lazily down his chest, relishing the feeling of having him in her arms after years of anticipation. _

_"I admit that, but this isn't exactly the way I had it planned."_

_"Oh, you had a plan for seducing me, huh?"_

_"Not seducing exactly. More like romancing. I thought when we were both ready, I'd fix you a nice meal at my place and after dinner we'd relax in front of the fire, sip some champagne, maybe turn on some soft music and slow dance before I would carry you off to my bedroom and spend the rest of the night making slow, sweet love to you." He kissed her tenderly. "But that plan's shot now."_

_"It doesn't have to be. Just because it won't be our first time together anymore doesn't mean we can't have some romance in the future."_

_"You're probably right," Lee said placing a light kiss o the top of her head, "If we can get ourselves out of this mess. Speaking of which, we've got a long day ahead of us tomorrow, we should get some sleep."_

_"I agree," she said, kissed him softly one more time and they nestled down into the covers wrapped in each other's arms. _

"So, Lee was telling the truth about you initiating things," Francine queried wide-eyed. Amanda nodded and then Francine asked, "Does that mean that he was also telling the truth when he said that he asked you to marry him?"

"He told you that he asked me to marry him?"Amanda asked. This time, it was her turn to be surprised.

"You mean, he didn't?"Billy said.

Amanda closed her eyes again as she tried to recall the painful memories of her captivity and sort out the fantasy from the reality, but all she kept seeing was Lee in a tuxedo with roses and champagne. She knew her mind was a little muddled, but she knew that wasn't real. It didn't make any kind of logical sense for him to show up in a terrorist's lair like that. She looked from Billy to Francine and back again, a confused look on her face. "I don't know," she answered honestly.


	7. Chapter 7

The door to Amanda's room had barely been closed when Quidd turned on Lee and said, "I know that look, Scarecrow, and you can just forget asking about taking her out of here. She's in no cond-"

"I'm not asking, Doc," Lee cut him off with a cool glare. "I'm _telling_ you right now that I AM taking her out of here. Did you see her in there? Just being in that room is making it harder for her to recover. The stark white walls, the bright white light...It's like she's still a prisoner. Aren't you familiar at all with white room torture and what it does to people?"

"Don't be stupid! Of course, I am! Have you forgotten that I helped treat some of the hostages from the Iran affair in '81 and I am sick of you," He pointed an accusing finger at Kelford, "Both of you, trying to tell me how to do my job!"

"No one's telling you how to do your job here," Kelford said, "we just have to consider everything. With the new information that Lee's given us, even you have to consider that maybe Mrs. King's mental condition isn't as bad we thought she was."

Lee turned to Dr. Kelford and asked, "What's her physical condition, Doc?"

"Didn't you see her in there?" Quidd replied hotly.

"I'm not asking you!" Lee retorted just as heatedly."You already made it clear that you don't know jack about what going on inside her head and you don't care to! If you had questions about what was real and what wasn't, maybe you should have looked a little deeper or you could have asked me. I was there with her part of the time. Or you could have been in on Birol's debriefing. It wouldn't be the first time you've questioned suspects! If you ask me, you need to get out of your office a little more."

Quidd made a move as if to reply, but was shushed with a wave of Kelford's hand. "Come on, Scarecrow, let's take a walk." Kelford then gently reached for Lee's arm to guide him down the hall toward his office.

"You're not getting rid of me that easily," Quidd said as he trailed behind them, catching up to the other two men just as they reached Kelford's office. "I should be included in any decisions that are made about Mrs. King's care. She's my patient too."

Kelford sighed and said, "This is MY office and you're not setting foot in it unless you can keep your temper under control and just sit down and listen for a change the way you do with your patients during therapy sessions. You were the one who suggested that we needed to discuss her situation with her next of kin and since Melrose won't budge on that point, Scarecrow here is the closest we've got."

"But he's not actually family," Quidd protested as they entered Kelford's office.

"Yeah, well I'm the closest thing she's got right now, Pal," Lee countered.

"He's right," Kelford agreed. "He's her fiancé," He then turned to Lee, "or at least I'm assuming that she said yes when you asked her to marry you."

"Yeah," Lee answered with a smile as his mind flashed back for a moment to his impromptu proposal.

"And he's the father of her child, so he should be in on any decisions that are made about her care. We just need to forget for a moment that he's her partner and just treat him as we would any other family member.

Quidd nodded and conceded, "All right," as he sank into one of the chairs.

"Now, Scarecrow, to answer your question, she's not doing badly for what she's been through. She has some bumps and bruises, but they're mild. When she came in last night, she was severely dehydrated, but I've been keeping her on an IV to replace the fluids she's lost while captive and her vitals are looking much better."

"Good," Lee breathed a sigh of relief.

"The concern for her physical health right now is that she's been unable to keep any solid food down. Now, this could be a result of many things. It could be a side effect of the drugs Birol gave her; it could be a side effect of the zap gas, it could be just morning sickness due to her pregnancy or a combination of all three. The side effects of the drugs and the zap gas could simply be making her pregnancy symptoms more severe."

"It also could be her digestive system treating solid food as the enemy since Birol wasn't exactly making sure she was fed regularly. The type of torture he used on her is all about sensory deprivation, the soundless white room, the sleep deprivation... Victims are often fed only white rice, if they're fed at all," Quidd explained in a calmer tone that he'd had earlier.

"Doc, I know all of this. I've been there," Lee replied.

"The real issue here is that all of this was done while she was pregnant, so her fatigue, her nausea, the confusion, those could be just because of the sleep deprivation and dehydration or could be related to her pregnancy," Kelford continued.

"Look, I know you're trying to help her, but I think that I can help her more. You need to let me take her home."

"She needs medical care, Scarecrow," Quidd said pointedly.

"No, what she needs is to feel safe," Lee argued. "You saw her in there, how scared she was of that room. You also saw how she calmed down when I got in there, how her confusion cleared up just by me talking to her. I know how to treat dehydration at home. I've been there. Both of you should know how much I hate hospitals, so I've taken care of myself a time or two. Besides that, if anyone can get through to her and help clear up the fog in her mind, it's me."

"I'll make you a deal, Scarecrow," Kelford said, "And Dr. Quidd here should be willing to go along with this compromise." He glared sternly at Quidd who nodded to indicate that he was listening. "Give me a couple of hours to finish off her IV, get some more fluids in her then I'll let you take her home, but on one condition."

"I'm listening," Lee answered.

"If she develops a fever of more than 100 or she starts having more hallucinations, you bring her right back here," Kelford stated firmly.

"I have a condition of my own," Quidd added. Lee turned to him with a frown, folding his arms across his chest. "Don't give me that look, Scarecrow; this is for her own good. She's going to need some intense therapy to deal with her trauma. You're to make sure when she's feeling better physically, that she come to see me so I can ensure that she's healthy mentally."

"Yeah, I can do that," Lee agreed, then turned his attention to Kelford and asked, "With her being pregnant, is there anything extra that I should be doing for her?" With that question out there, he began to wonder if what Birol had said was true, had she begged for the life of their unborn child? If she had, that meant she'd known she was pregnant before her abduction and he couldn't help but wonder why she hadn't told him. He searched his memory banks for any hints that she might have dropped about it and his mind lingered on one particular moment.

_"We're the luckiest two people on the face of the earth," Amanda gushed wearily as she leaned into kiss her new fiancée' _

_Lee couldn't help but chuckle a bit at Amanda's statement. Only she could be so optimistic in the face of death. "Yeah, we are," he agreed as he kissed her soundly. "I should have asked you forever ago and I'm sorry that I didn't. I...Uh...It just feels like the timing is never right for us."_

_"No, it never is, but when has that ever stopped us?" Amanda responded with a smile. _

_"You're right." He softly caressed her face and was tickled when she clasped his hand, kissing his palm. "I shouldn't have let that stop me. Two people who love each other as much as we do...we should be making plans...plans for a future together."_

_Amanda nodded and said, "The sooner, the better." She lightly ran her fingers across her stomach and hesitantly began, "there's...there's something that I should have done forever ago too. Lee, we-"_

_Her words were cut off by the door being flung open, causing both of them to jump. Birol stepped in and in a menacing tone, said, "Made your decision yet?" When neither replied, he glared icily at both of them. "Remember, one hour," he reminded and then was gone just as quickly as he'd come. _

It occurred to Lee now in reflecting back on it, that Amanda had been trying to tell him about the baby then, but Birol had ruined her plan, just as he'd ruined his plan for giving her a proper marriage proposal.

As he shook off the memory, he noticed that Kelford had now sat behind his desk and had been writing the whole time. "I'm going to give you a couple of prescriptions for her that you'll need to get filled before you pick her up later. One is a mild sedative that you should give her only in the event that she's still having trouble sleeping; the other is for a prenatal vitamin."

Lee took the slips from Kelford. "Right," he said. He started to say something else, but then hedged.

"What is it, Scarecrow?" Kelford asked.

"I..." He sighed, wanting to ask his question, but unsure if he wanted to know the answer. He began pacing trying to decide whether it was better to know or not know. After a few minutes of this, he finally halted abruptly in his pacing and leaning across Kelford's desk he blurted out, "Is the baby okay?"

"At this point, we just don't know. It's a little too early to tell," Kelford replied honestly. "We don't know what kind of effects the drugs and the zap gas are going to have. We couldn't find any data on how either affects a pregnant woman. She's still in a very early stage of her pregnancy, so anything can happen. She'll need to be monitored very closely for the next few weeks, by a qualified obstetrician." Trying to be positive, Kelford added, "What I can tell you is that there's a good strong heartbeat. That's a very good sign."

Lee sighed again, managed a weak smile and trying to be optimistic as he knew Amanda would be, he replied, "So, everything might be okay?"

Kelford gave Quidd a look when he saw that it looked like he might say something negative and answered Lee with a smile, "Yes, everything might be just fine."

"Good," Lee said and breathing a sigh of relief, repeated, "Good."

Quidd would not be deterred by Kelford this time, "Lee, you have to be realistic. This kind of trauma this early in her pregnancy could result in harm to your child. I'm not trying to be negative here, but you need to know that between the stresses that this ordeal has put her under and the physical harm done to her, there's a chance that she may miscarry. I don't want you living on false hope or giving her false hope either. My advice to you is to take it one day at a time."

Lee grimaced at Quidd's words and replied, "Well, I'll just have to make sure that we do everything we can to prevent that from happening. He paused for a beat and said, "I...uh...I should get going if I'm going to get ready to take her home with me, get these filled, pick up some stuff to take care of her with, maybe run by her place to get some of her stuff."

"You're not taking her to her house?" Quid questioned.

"No," Lee answered with a firm shake of his head. "There's no way I'd be able to explain her condition to her mother or her kids. It's better that she stay with me until she well enough that they won't know anything's wrong."

"That makes sense," Quidd replied, for the first time agreeing with Lee on something.

"I...Um...I should go." Lee shoved the prescriptions in his jacket pocket and exited the office, intending to head back to Amanda's room to inform Billy and Francine of what was going on, but halted abruptly when he saw Addi Birol being led down the hall in chains by two armed guards.


	8. Chapter 8

While Lee was talking to the doctors, the conversation had continued in Amanda's room. Francine looked at Amanda in astonishment and said incredulously, "Are you kidding me, Amanda?" Billy gave Francine a warning look, but this didn't stop her. "I'm sorry, but if a man like Lee Stetson with a lady-killer reputation like his proposed to me, that's something that I'd remember. I mean, come on, Amanda, we're talking about a guy with not one, but four black books."

Amanda shook her head and argued, "No, Francine, he doesn't have them anymore."

"You don't know that," Francine challenged.

"Yes, I do," Amanda countered. "I was there when he destroyed them." As Amanda explained, her mind drifted back to that long-ago steak dinner they'd shared.

_Lee and Amanda walked into his living room, wine glasses in hand after finishing the dinner Lee had prepared for them. "Wow, I'm stuffed," Amanda said as they sank down onto his couch together._

_"Me too," Lee replied_.

_"Dinner was great," Amanda said as she sipped at her wine._

_"Yes, it was," Lee acknowledged, "But you know what made it really great?"_

_"What's that?" She smiled at him in anticipation._

_"The company," he answered smiling warmly back at her. _

_"Oh, is that right?" She took another sip of her wine, smiled coyly at him and teased. "Are you sure you wouldn't rather have been at the Soviet Embassy tonight with Leslie."_

_"Leslie who?" Lee gave her an innocent-looking smile._

_Amanda smiled brightly back at him and said, "Good."_

_"Speaking of which, there's something that I've been wanting to do for a while and now that you're here, I want you to be my witness."_

_"Oh? What's that?"_

_Lee rose from the sofa, walked to his desk, retrieved his black books and said, "These...these aren't any use to me anymore." He hedged slightly while Amanda sat watching his nervousness in amusement. _

_"No?" she questioned. _

_"No," Lee answered with a firm shake of his head," And do you know why?"_

_"No, why?" She knew, but she wanted the satisfaction of hearing him say it._

_Lee heaved a deep breath and continued, "Because there's only one number that I want to call, one that means more to me than any other and it's not in these books. I've had your number memorized for so long, I never needed to add it to a book. So...with that in mind..." He turned from her and one by one, dropped all four books into the roaring fire in his fireplace, then re-joined her on the couch, sliding an arm across her shoulders. "Amanda, you are now a witness to history in the making."_

_"Good," Amanda said with a firm nod. She leaned against him as together they watched the flames licking at the books, a hopeful smile playing on her lips at Lee's gesture of symbolically destroying his past to make way for their future. _

"I'll be damned," Francine whispered in awe as Amanda finished her tale.

Billy chuckled and said, "That was quite the romantic gesture."

"It was." Amanda smiled at the memory. That was when things had really begun for them.

Before the conversation could go any further, they were interrupted by a commotion in the hall. Billy nodded to Francine and said, "Stay with her," and quickly made his way to the door. _  
_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Lee's entire body stiffened at seeing Birol. He strode purposefully toward him and without thinking slammed his fist into the man's jaw. "You son of a bitch!" He growled.

One of the guards, yelled, "Hey!" but this didn't deter Lee. He pulled back his fist to hit him again only to be stopped by the guard. "Hey, you've done enough damage. Have you seen the knot you left on the back of his head."

Birol only shook of the effects of Lee's left hook and laughed. "Isn't this what you Americans call police brutality," he said with a sneer.

"You haven't seen brutality yet, Chum," Lee fired back as he struggled against the guard finally wrenching his arm free, then soundly backhanded him, startling Birol. "That's what you did to Amanda, isn't it? You like hurting defenseless women, do you?" He backhanded him again. "Does that make you feel like a big man?" Lee backhanded him one more time. "How do _you_ like it?" When Birol only laughed again, struggling against his chains as if to fight back, Lee struck him again and spat out, "Let me tell you something, if anything... and I mean _anything_ happens to Amanda or to our child because of what you did to her, I'll show you the real definition of brutality."

"You've already shown me the worst kind of brutality that you could," Birol snarled at him. "You took my women from me. Mara, Magda, you wooed both of them with your promises of the American dream until they were no longer loyal to me, but to you."

"Did you ever stop to think that maybe they wouldn't have been so easily wooed if you hadn't been sleeping with both of them? You want loyalty; you have to be loyal first."

"This from the great Scarecrow, master of loyalty to no woman," Birol fired back.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Lee swallowed hard, cringing slightly at the memories of his past.

"Oh, I know all about you; you and your women. How you charm women, lure them to your bed and then when you tire of them, find another. How long will it be until you tire of your current whore, Amanda?"

Lee responded with another swing at Birol, but was stopped by his arms being pinned behind his back and a booming voice behind him saying "Scarecrow, that's enough!"

Lee turned his head to find Billy was the one holding him back, "Billy, did you hear what he just said?"

"Cool off, Man. This isn't helping anything." Billy nodded to the two guards who resumed their march down the hall with Birol. Once they were out of sight, he turned his attention back to Lee and released his friend. When Lee attempted to charge after them, Billy grabbed him from behind again and said firmly, "Don't. It's not worth it, Man. If you beat the hell out of him, that's only going to hurt our case against him. Don't you want to see him go to prison for what he did to Amanda? Do you really want to let him get off on a technicality?" When Lee sighed and Billy felt him relaxing somewhat, he released him again.

Lee turned to face his boss and said, "No." He ran both hands through his hair, trying to put his frustration into words, but found that he couldn't find the right ones. He let out a long, slow breath and repeated, "No."

"Good," Billy replied. "Now, I want you to take a few days off. Your job until further notice is just to look after Amanda, you got that?"

Lee nodded. "I...um...I should get in there and let her know what's going on." He turned and walked toward Amanda's room, taking another deep breath before entering, not wanting to upset her further by letting her see his agitation.

When Lee finally entered the room, it was to find Amanda laughing and Francine saying, "I could tell you some stories, believe me."

"Francine, what are you telling her?" Lee asked in a warning tone.

"Oh, Lee, come on, don't get your boxers in a twist. It's just a little girl talk," Francine responded, her blue eyes sparking in amusement.

"Uh-huh," Lee replied disbelievingly. "Can you give us a minute?"

"Sure," Francine said as she rose from her seat, but before she left the room, she grabbed Lee by the arm and pulled him aside.

"What is it?" Lee asked impatiently.

"Listen," Francine whispered. "Amanda may not be as incoherent as the doctors think she is, but there are still some things that she can't quite sort out in her head. The biggie being that she doesn't remember that you proposed to her."

"What?" Lee asked, surprise and a little hurt evident in his voice, "B-b-but she said yes right away..." his voice trailed off.

"She doesn't remember that, Lee. She thinks your marriage proposal is just another one of her hallucinations, that she was imagining it because it was something she wanted. She and I were talking and it seems that all of her delusions were about you talking to her, romancing her, rescuing her... I'm not a shrink, but having been in a similar situation like that, I think that's how she survived without breaking. She's having trouble picking out which pieces of her memories are from her fantasies and which ones are from your real rescue of her."

"I kind of sensed that already, Francine. I know her better than anyone does. The question is, what do you suggest I do about it?"

"Be gentle with her. While she's trying to be strong, a part of her's still fragile. Don't try to force her real memories to the surface by telling her what really happened. Let her tell you what she thinks and then you can confirm or deny what she's telling you. I think that will help more than anything." Lee nodded in understanding. Francine started to leave, but then as another thought occurred to her, she paused in the doorway. "You know, I was just thinking, since she doesn't know you already proposed, you might just have your opportunity to do it the right way this time."

"I get you," Lee nodded.

"I hope so. Listen, for whatever bizarre reason, Amanda has complete trust in you, in your relationship. Don't blow it by breaking that trust." Francine replied tersely, taking one last worried look at Amanda, praying that Lee was being sincere and that he had really fallen for Amanda. While they'd had their differences, Amanda was a good person and she didn't deserve to be yet another casualty on Lee's romance highway. She shook her head and left the two of them alone.

Lee turned to his fiancée' and with a warm smile said, "Hi," as he approached her. He leaned in and placed a tender kiss to her lips.

"Hi," Amanda replied.

As he sat beside her, he inquired with a bemused expression, "So, what were you two vixens talking about in here that had you laughing so hard?"

"Like Francine said, it was just a little girl talk," Amanda answered obtusely.

"Amanda," Lee said in exasperation.

"I'll tell you what. I'll tell you, if you tell me what that noise in the hall was about," she challenged.

"That? It was...Uh...it was nothing," he denied.

"Uh-huh," she replied skeptically. "So, what'd you find out? Can I get out of here?"

"What I found out is that they need to keep you here just a couple hours longer," He nodded toward her IV. "Get some more fluids in you before they let me take you home."

"Home,' Amanda said softly. As she thought of her home, a moment of panic gripped her and she shook her head. "No, Lee, I can't go home!"

"Amanda, you said you wanted out of here, didn't you?"

"Yes, but mother and the boys, they can't see me like this! I'd never be able to explain this to them. They'd never understand."

Lee took both of her hands in his and said gently, "Shhh. It's okay. They're not going to know a thing. I'm going to take you home with me until you're better. While I'm waiting to come back and get you, I'm gonna' get my place all set up for you, and run by your place to get some of your things for you so you'll feel comfortable there."

"How are you gonna' do that? What are you gonna' do, climb up the trellis again?"

"No," Lee said with a chuckle and a shake of his head. "I thought this time, I just might try the front door."

Amanda shook her head. "They don't even know you."

"Your mom does...Well, she doesn't really know me, but I met her the other day...You don't remember me telling you that I talked to her?" As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he kicked himself for it, for ignoring Francine's warning, hoping that he wasn't going to upset Amanda again.

Amanda frowned and thought hard. "I..." she sighed. "Yes, I-I-I guess I do, but I just thought it was another hallucination." She bit down on her lower lip wanting to ask him if Francine was right, if he'd asked her to marry him, but then she also didn't want to embarrass herself or put undue pressure on him to propose if he hadn't, especially now that she knew that he knew she was pregnant.

"Hey," Lee squeezed her hands affectionately. "Don't get upset. I'm gonna' do my damndest to help you figure out what's real and what's not." He hoped in that process that she'd remember on her own that she'd agreed to marry him.

"Good." Amanda nodded, but then frowned again. "So...um...what are exactly are you going to tell Mother? Even if you did meet her now, you're still going to need a good cover story before she'll just let you walk out of the house with my things and it's not as if you can tell her the truth."

Lee felt a moment of panic hitting him. He hadn't thought quite that far ahead yet. He quickly tried to cover, giving Amanda an affectionate smile and replied, "Don't you worry about it. I've got it covered." He brushed another soft kiss to her lips. "I'll see you soon." He then quickly exited the room, nodded to Billy and Francine in the hall, then made his way out of the infirmary to run his errands, his mind in a whirl. Just what the hell was he going to tell Mrs. West?


	9. Chapter 9

Author's note: For the flashback scene in this chapter, I can't take complete credit for it as the dialogue up to Dotty's "Maybe she listens to you better..." comes from an un-filmed scene from the original script of "Nightcrawler," which I've used once before in "The Honeymoon's Over." For that story, I modified it to fit the events of that tale. Now for this one I've modified it again to fit this one, added my own flair to the existing dialogue, and extended it a bit beyond Dotty's above comment. I just always really liked this bit between lee and Dotty ever since I first read the original script and felt saddened that it had been cut. That's the nice thing about fanfiction though, we can fill in the gaps of time that the show left out.

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On the drive from Georgetown to Arlington, Lee reflected back on his first visit to Dotty West, how he'd told her that Amanda would be out of town a while longer, and how she'd been surprised that he wasn't with her. If only she knew. He then began thinking of the conversation they'd had when he was leaving and how painfully awkward it had been.

_Dotty was walking Lee to the front door to say good-bye and said, "Next time, I want to hear all the details of the grand adventure you went on with my daughter."_

_"It was all a big mistake," Lee answered as he shuffled nervously at the front door of the King house._

_"You sound just like Amanda. She hasn't told me enough about her job in the last three years to fill a post card." She put her hands on her hips and gave him a perturbed look._

_"It's pretty routine..." he hedged, but then in his mind questioned the use of that word. Well, it may not be the routine of a nine-to-five banker's job, but it was scary how much it was becoming routine for them. Something was always coming between them to stop them from moving forward in their future together._

_"But what routine?" When Dotty pounced on that word just as Lee had in his own thoughts, he couldn't help but smile slightly."She comes home soaking wet, scorched...sometimes she doesn't come home at all..." Dotty paused for a moment. "I tell her to get married, put on a few extra pounds...There's a routine...Not a thrill a minute, but you don't get scorched."_

_"Sounds pretty good," Lee said with a smile. He couldn't help thinking just how good it did sound to him, Amanda married...to him. Then his thought shifted to Dotty's comment about her putting on some weight and chuckled softly to himself wondering just what Dotty west would think if he knew that there was a possibility that her child might very well be carrying his. She'd put on a few pounds in that scenario for sure._

_"Then you tell her," Dotty said emphatically with an all-too knowing look as if she knew what had just been in his thoughts. "Maybe she listens to you better than she listens to me."_

_"You bet I will," Lee answered, still smiling as he shoved his hands in his pockets, one hand clutching the ring box that he had on him more often than not. _

_"Good," Dotty beamed at him. "That's good."_

Lee stepped onto Amanda's front porch, but hesitated at ringing the bell as he ran his cover story through his mind and tried to prepare for any questions that the inquisitive Dotty West might throw at him. He took a deep breath to steel himself for the onslaught that he knew was about to be thrust upon him. "Just do it, Stetson," he scolded himself and had his hand just poised to ring the bell when the door was flung open and two exuberant boys attempted to barrel through it laden with overnight bags, not noticing he was there until they slammed into him. "Oof, he grunted.

"Hey," a stern male voice said behind them. Lee looked through the open door to find Joe King trailing wearily behind his two rowdy sons. "Slow down."

"Sorry, Dad," both boys replied but then turned curious eyes to Lee.

Once the boys stepped back a little, Lee stepped into the foyer, greeted Joe with a nod. "Joe," he said.

"Hello, Lee," Joe replied.

"Who are you?" Jamie asked with an inquisitive expression.

Joe gave Lee an arched eyebrow amusement dancing in his eyes from behind the boys and when it was clear that the other man wasn't going to help him out at all, Lee began hesitantly, "I...Um...I'm Lee Stetson...I...Uh...I work with your mom at IFF."

"Oh, I know who you are. You're Mom's new boyfriend," Phillip said bluntly.

This comment earned Phillip an elbow in the ribs from his younger brother who hissed, "Shut up, Stupid."

"Well, that's what Grandma says," Phillip argued, "And don't call me stupid, Lame Brain!"

"Hey, how about both of you lay off the name-calling," Joe admonished.

"So, _are_ you Mom's boyfriend?" Phillip asked, undeterred by his brother's scolding.

"I...Um...I guess you could say that," Lee answered nervously. He had expected an interrogation from Dotty, but not from his future stepsons. It hadn't occurred to him that it was late enough in the day that they'd be home from school. With Amanda being pregnant, assuming the baby was alright and that Amanda made a speedy recovery, they'd most likely be getting married soon, so the boys should know at least a little something about their relationship. "We...Um...We've been seeing each other for a little while now."

"Well, I'm glad to hear at least one of you admit it," Dotty said as she breezed into the room, the boys' jackets in hand, giving one to each of them. "Boys, take these. This is almost November. It's much too chilly outside for you to go without your jackets and your mother will kill me if she comes back to find the two of you sick." She then turned her attention to her former son-in-law and warned him, "And you make sure they wear them all weekend, especially when you take them trick or treating tonight."

"I'll look after them, Dotty," Joe promised, then planted a quick kiss to her cheek before placing a hand on each of his sons' shoulders and said, "Let's go, Fellas'."

"Joe, you just make sure to bring them back in one piece on Sunday and do not let them get overloaded on sugar if you don't want Amanda killing you too," Dotty warned.

Once they were gone, Dotty gestured for Lee to come in further, turned a curious eye toward him as she closed the door behind him and gushed, "Well, Mr. Stetson, two visits in one week. To what do I owe the pleasure?" When Lee began to speak, she held up a hand to shush him, "No, wait, let me guess. You're here to tell me that Amanda's going to be gone longer than expected."

"Something like that," Lee answered warily. He didn't know what it was about Amanda's mother, but being in her presence made him more nervous that a confrontation with any spy he'd ever encountered in his life. "It's...Uh..."

Before Lee could form the right words, Dotty shook her head and said, "Why does that not surprise me?" She then looked him up and down before continuing. "So, let me ask you a question..."

_Uh-oh, here it comes, _Lee thought.

"Why is it that you're here, exactly? I mean, this is something you could have just told me about over the phone, not that I'm not delighted to see you again and to hear you admit that you're dating my daughter, but... Well, I mean, we _have_ talked on the phone before. You could have just called. For that matter, why didn't Amanda call for herself and while we're on the subject, why aren't you with her on whatever mysterious film project that she's working on that's kept her away for so long? Don't you two usually work together?"

Lee chuckled at how similar Dotty's mode of speech was to her daughter's, took a deep breath and answered, "Um...actually, I'll be joining her soon. That...Um...that's why I'm here. The...um...the project that she's working on...it's become a...a little rough." _That's an understatement_, he thought, but plunged on. "I've been working on a different project and this is the first time I've been free to go join the rest of the crew. It's...Um...it's dragged on for so long that I...Um...I need to take some of Amanda's things to her when I go."

"So, there's one thing that I don't understand, Mr. Stetson," Dotty probed further. "If she called you to ask you to get her things, why didn't she call the house to let me know she was going to be gone longer or why didn't she call to tell me that you were coming?"

"Well, she didn't call me," Lee explained, hoping that his lies would hold up under Dotty's intense scrutiny. "The boss called me and said the crew had run into some trouble, that they needed some extra hands."

"The boss?" Dotty questioned. "But aren't _you_ her boss?"

"No," Lee answered immediately without thinking, then mentally kicked himself for it. _Shit!___He cursed himself as he wondered if that was the cover story that Amanda had given her mother. "Did she...Um...did she tell you that I'm her boss?"

Dotty was silent for a moment as if lost in thought and then answered, "No, I guess not. I suppose I just assumed that because you call here so much to tell her that she's needed at the office."

"Well, since Amanda and I are partners, the boss usually has me doing the calling," Lee said. It wasn't entirely a lie, but Billy would never call since Dotty had already met him twice and knew he was an agent, once during when she'd gotten caught up in Dr. Zernov's defection and again when Stemwinder had been blown. "I guess...um...when Amanda called him, she asked to have someone stop by here to grab some things for her."

Dotty snorted. "You know, that is so like her since she started working with you people at IFF. She calls the office before she calls home."

"Well, from the way that I understand it, she didn't have much time to be on the phone and from what she tells me, you're a bit of a chatterbox just like she is." He flashed her his most charming smile.

Dotty laughed softly and replied, "She is right about that. We do both have the gift of gab."

Lee glanced at his watch and frowned. He still had a lot to do before picking up Amanda from the agency. "You know, I...uh...I hate to cut this short, but I...Um...I have...um...a plane to catch, so I need to...Uh..." He gestured up the stairs with his hand.

"Of course, Mr. Stetson," Dotty nodded. "I suppose you know where her room is...Oh, of course you do. What am I thinking? The two of you climbed out her bedroom window when you took off back in September."

"Yeah," Lee said and eager to escape Dotty's intense gaze darted up the stairs, breathing a sigh of relief once he'd reached Amanda's room. He took a moment to let out a long slow, breath, leaning against the doorframe for a moment for support. He shook his head to clear his thoughts, then dutifully made his way to Amanda's closet for her suitcase, then to her dresser to begin packing for the woman he loved.

"Hmm," Dotty murmured from the doorway. Lee, unaware that she'd padded up behind him, jumped and spun around to face her. "It's interesting to me that you knew right where to get her suitcase and exactly which dresser drawers to go to," she commented with a nod toward the partially-packed suitcase. "I came up here thinking that you might want some help finding the things that Amanda needs, but I can see that you already know where she keeps everything." She paused for a beat and then narrowed her eyes at him, "Exactly how is it that you know where everything is? Just how serious _are_ you and Amanda?"

"I...Um...Well, it's like you said the other day, when she's on out-of-town assignments, I'm usually with her so I've helped her pack a few times." he then turned back to the dresser, busying himself with the packing to avoid her intense stares.

"Uh-huh," Dotty said as she eyed him suspiciously. "You still haven't answered my other question. How serious is your relationship with her and before you try to deny that there is one, I've known for some time that Amanda has had feelings for you that she wouldn't admit to. I can't for the life of me figure out why she's been hiding you all this time, but I know that she has been. So, how about it, Mr. Stetson."

Lee halted in his task, sighed and said, "First of all, it's Lee, okay? Second, as for the seriousness of our relationship, it's...um...it's pretty damn serious."

"How serious are we talking here? I mean, I saw how you reacted the other day when I told you to tell her to get married. Is it _that_ serious?"

Lee found himself at a loss for words. Yes, it was that serious, at least for him it was, but Amanda didn't even remember him proposing to her, so how could he honestly answer that question if he didn't know for sure himself if they were engaged or not?" "I-I-I..." he sighed again. "I don't know yet," he answered honestly as he resumed packing the things he thought that Amanda would need for the next few days.

"Alright, you don't wanna' tell me, fine. I'm used to that with Amanda, but I have to ask one more question and I demand an honest answer." Without giving him a chance to respond, she bluntly asked, "Does this have anything to do with the fact that Amanda hasn't been able to keep her breakfast down for at least the past two weeks, or the fact that she hasn't needed tampons in at least the last six, or that she's been more run-down lately?"

"I...Um...I don't know what you mean, Mrs. West," Lee lied as he kept his focus on closing and latching Amanda's suitcase.

"Oh, I think you do," Dotty argued, "Not that I expected you to admit it, mind you, anymore than Amanda will. Those symptoms that Amanda's been experiencing, their all symptoms of pregnancy." At seeing Lee finally look up at her wide-eyed, she thought, _Gotcha'. _"I thought it so strange the other day when you just showed up here out of nowhere, ringing the bell like a normal person instead of skulking around the back yard or just calling as you normally do, but then the pieces started to come together. Since Amanda is obviously hesitant about introducing us properly, you decided to take it upon yourself to do so."

Lee hoisted Amanda's suitcase off the bed and answered vaguely, "You know, I'd love to be able to answer all of your questions, but right now, I have to go. I have-"

"A plane to catch, of course," Dotty completed.

"Right, a plane," Lee nodded, almost blowing by letting her throw him so much that he'd temporarily forgotten his cover story. "I'll have Amanda call you when I see her." He then took off before Dotty could throw another unanswerable question at him.

Dotty gazed after him with a knowing nod shaking her head as he walked out the door, that the man Amanda loved was just as evasive about the nature of their relationship as she was. What was wrong with them?

When Lee exited Amanda's room in a panic, he didn't stop until he was out the front door and safely locked away in his car, away from Dotty West's prying eyes and probing questions. When he reached to turn the key, he felt his chest tightening and realized for the first time that he'd been holding his breath the whole time since leaving Amanda's room. He exhaled slowly, threw the car into reverse, peeling out of Amanda's driveway and back toward the safety of DC.


	10. Chapter 10

After leaving the house, Lee stopped at a shopping center, dropped off Amanda's prescriptions at the pharmacy, then headed to the supermarket to stock his empty refrigerator, back to the pharmacy to pick up her medications and then made an unplanned stop to a florist on the way to his apartment.

After making several trips from his car to carry everything in, and depositing Amanda's suitcase on his bed, he made his way into his kitchen, hastily put the groceries away with the exception of one bag then turned his attention to the sinkful of dishes. After washing them and putting them away, he returned to the one remaining bag, piling its contents on the counter, then pulled out a saucepan and set the chicken he'd bought to simmering to make broth out of. With that done, he then through his cupboards until he found a large lead crystal vase and carried it into his dining room.

Once there he picked up the box from the florist and began carefully arranging the long-stemmed red roses as he'd seen Amanda do both at her house and in the office they shared. He smiled as he reflected back on the first time he'd ever given her roses as a thank you for her being there for him in a difficult time, but also to tell her that he was ready to move on...with her. He'd found himself as giddy as a high boy on his first date when she'd rewarded him with a kiss.

When he completed the job on the flowers, he stepped back to examine the arrangement and make sure that it was perfectly centered on the dining table. Satisfied with his handiwork he turned to clean up the mess he'd left in his living room, tossed the take-out food containers that Francine had brought over when they were formulating their plan to get to Birol. The discarded clothes that he'd left laying around both before and after his rescue of Amanda, he stuffed into the hamper in his bedroom.

Lee then cleared out a drawer of his dresser that was mostly full of junk, transferring some things to his closet and others to his desk, then unpacked Amanda's suitcase, neatly folding her clothing the way he knew she would have. He shook his head as he worked, wondering why the hell he hadn't thought to do this for her before. She'd spent enough nights with him that she should have some space in his home. He supposed it didn't matter though, because if he had his way, they'd soon be sharing a home anyway.

With her clothes put away, he entered his bathroom with her suitcase and the pharmacy bag, neatly arranging her toiletries on the countertop alongside his, and tearing open the stapled pharmacy bag, putting the two pill bottles inside his medicine cabinet. He then pulled out the sheets of paper about the medications so he'd have them for reference, crumpled the bag and tossed it into the wastebasket before exiting the room. As he did so, he laid the paperwork on her prescriptions on his desk and looked around.

He surveyed the bedroom, inspecting it as if he had his uncle's keen eyes and realized that he'd overlooked making his bed. Since Amanda would be recovering, she'd be spending some time there. He had to make it as nice as possible for her. As he started to straighten the comforter, he shook his head again and said aloud, "Not good enough," and unceremoniously flung it from the bed, stripped the bed of its sheets and pillowcases. As he walked to the hamper with the bundle in his arms, he was assailed by Amanda's scent on the pillowcase that she'd slept on the last time she'd stayed with him, her shampoo and her perfume flooding his senses with memories.

_Lee and Amanda lay wrapped blissfully around one another amid the tangled sheets. Amanda sighed in contentment as she planted a kiss to his bare chest and said, "Sorry I woke you."_

_Lee laughed heartily, kissed the top of her head and replied, "You don't ever have to apologize for waking me up that way." _

_"No, I imagine not," she said with a giggle. "I just felt bad that I fell asleep on you and ruined the romantic evening you had planned."_

_"Shh, Amanda," he lovingly caressed her face, his fingers tangling in her thick hair. "You didn't ruin anything. Just being with you, speeding time with you is enough for me."_

_"Really?" Amanda questioned dubiously. _

_"Don't look so surprised. Didn't you hear what I said in the office? When we're not at work, we're not together enough to suit me." He thought again to the diamond ring that was now safely tucked away in his dresser drawer out of sight, wondering if he should just bite the bullet and give it to her now, but then he thought that proposing marriage post-lovemaking might not be the best plan. How could he expect her to take him seriously when they were both naked? Or for that matter, when she'd awakened him by tugging at his boxers and before he'd had a chance to react, she'd had her mouth around him? No, now was not the right time under the circumstances. _

Having finished his chore, Lee perused the job he'd done and with a firm nod of satisfaction, reached for his keys where he'd thrown them on the desk, He scooped up the flower box, jammed it into his kitchen trashcan, and made a quick stop at the stove to check on the chicken. When he found it simmering nicely and headed toward his front door. He paused for a moment before leaving as the thought of Amanda's engagement ring sprang to his mind again. He pulled the box out of his pocket, opened it to gaze one more time at the shimmering diamond within, once again aching to give it to her to show his commitment to her and to their baby, but how was he going to do that when she didn't remember him proposing? He sighed, closed the box, shoved it back into his pocket and headed out.

Upon re-entering the agency infirmary, he was accosted by Dr. Kelford who stopped him before he could enter Amanda's room. "I need a word with you," Kelford said with a nod of his head toward his office.

"What is it?"Lee asked worriedly. "Don't tell me that I can't take her home, after all?"

"No, you can," Kelford reassured him as they entered his office. "I just have some instructions for you on her care." He reached across his desk and picked up a handful of papers handing them to Lee. "I wanted to give you this without our resident Negative Nancy in here."

"Where is he anyway?" Lee asked, not that he was anxious to see him again, but he wanted to be sure that he wouldn't try to stop him from leaving with Amanda. He'd made his objections to her being released plainly clear.

"He went back upstairs to his office to sulk once he realized that he was overruled about letting Amanda go home," Kelford explained with a mischievous smile.

Lee skimmed the papers in his hand, his eyes widening at one particular section, "Sign of miscarriage?" He looked at Kelford in alarm, his brow furrowed. "I thought you said that since the baby had a strong heartbeat, that was a good sign."

"It is," Kelford confirmed and then placed a comforting hand on the younger man's shoulder. "Relax, Lee, I just want you to have this as a precaution. I may not agree with Dr. Quidd's methods but he was right when he said that we just don't know how the baby's going to be affected by what Amanda's been through. It's entirely possible that there won't be any negative effects. After all, under normal circumstances, Amanda's strong and healthy." He nodded toward the paperwork and added, "Now, if she complains about abdominal pain, has any bleeding..." He sighed. "Well, you've got it all right there. If you notice any of those things, take her to the ER immediately. We have some skilled doctors here, but we're not really equipped to give the proper care to a pregnant woman."

Lee nodded. "I got it."

"Good," Kelford replied as he took Lee's arm and lead him out of the office and down the hall toward Amanda's room. "There is some good news," the doctor told him as they walked. "While you've been gone, she's been able to keep down some clear liquids, but we haven't attempted solid food yet. Days of not eating properly combined with the normal symptoms of pregnancy have done a number on her digestive system, so take it slowly with her. Clear liquids to begin with, water, broths, sports drinks like Gatorade will help to keep replacing what she's lost."

"I'm already prepared for that," Lee replied as they entered Amanda's room.

"My concern right now is that she's lost a couple of pounds."

Lee smiled warmly at Amanda, nodded to Billy and Francine who took his cue and left. Once they were gone, he turned to the doctor and in a hushed tone, said, "That's bad isn't it? I mean, isn't a woman supposed to gain weight when she's pregnant?"

"I can still hear you," Amanda inserted pointedly. Lee couldn't help but laugh at the irked look on Amanda's face. Amanda then turned her attention to Dr. Kelford and added in an annoyed tone, "I already told you that when I was pregnant with Jamie, my morning sickness was so severe that I lost weight before I gained weight and he was still over eight pounds at birth."

Kelford nodded. "Yes, I heard you Amanda and it's not uncommon, but what IS uncommon it to be starved for days and get as dehydrated as you did during the early stages of pregnancy. That's where my concern is. I'd love to believe that this is the same thing that you experienced with your son. If it is, that's great, but I want you to take all the possible precautions to make sure that you and your baby make a full recovery. That's why I'm arming Lee here with all the tools and information he needs to help you with that." He approached her bed and said, "Now, let's get you unhooked so your fiancé' can take you home."

While Kelford worked, Amanda's mind was so focused on his use of the word, "fiancé' that she barely noticed the slight sting of the IV being removed or him blotting and bandaging the tiny wound it had left behind.

"Fiancé'?" She questioned, her eyes locking with Lee's, as she reflected on Francine's words to her earlier. Was it true? Had Lee really proposed to her? Were they engaged and she just didn't remember getting engaged or was it just a story that Lee had told so that he could get in to see her and be allowed to take her home?

Lee crossed the room, clasped her hand with his free one, and answered her with, "Hey, we'll talk about that another time when you're feeling better, okay?"

"Well, I'm all done here," Kelford announced. "So, you're all set to take her home. Just follow those instructions and you should be just fine." Without another word, he left the pair alone.

"Come on, let's get you outta' here," Lee said, using the hand he held in his to help her out of bed.

"Lee, I get that you're worried and I understand why, but I'm perfectly mobile and I'm not helpless."

"I know," Lee replied sheepishly. "I...um...I guess I just don't want you overdoing it."

"Well, I don't want _you_ overdoing it either," she countered as she stood up, stretching out the kinks in her back from the uncomfortable infirmary bed.. "You don't have to baby me."

"Amanda, you're carrying my baby, so if I feel the need to baby you, let me." He desperately wanted to ask her why she hadn't told him right away, but knew that he shouldn't. She didn't need any added stress.

As if sensing his thought, she said, "Um...about that..." She paused and let out a deep sigh before continuing. "I-I-I wanted to tell you, but-"

Lee silenced her with a finger to her lips. "Shhh. Don't, Amanda. We'll talk about that another time, too. Let's just get you healthy first." He then replaced his finger with his lips, kissing her tenderly and linked his arm with hers to guide her out of the room. His thoughts were a jumble as he wondered just how he was going to keep his mouth shut about all the things he wanted to ask her, knowing that her own jumbled mind may just become more so if he pushed her too much. He disguised his worry with an affectionate smile at her and said, "Let's go home."


	11. Chapter 11

"Something smells good," Amanda commented as she walked into Lee's apartment. No sooner were the words out of her mouth than her stomach began growling loudly. "Is that chicken I smell?"

Lee closed the door behind them and answered, "Yeah. I was in the process of making some chicken broth for you. You know, just in case your stomach can't handle anything more solid."

"Oh," Amanda nodded in understanding as she started to move further into the room, but was halted when her eyes fell on the coat rack just inside the door.

"What is it, Amanda?" he asked, the almost panicked look in her eyes worrying him.

"My sweater," Amanda replied as she pointed to the pale blue cardigan hung beside his leather jacket. "B-B-Birol...he...uh...he took it from me." She shuddered slightly at the memory of him brutally yanking the sweater from her arms, knocking her against the wall in the process.

"Oh...uh...yeah," Lee hedged slightly. "I know. He...um...he tried to trick me with it too, dressed Nightcrawler up as you to trap me."

"You mean Mara?" she questioned with a knowing look. "Don't you?"

Lee glanced at her in surprise. "H-how do you know that? I mean, I know Birol dumped her in the room with us, but he never said her name and neither did I."

Amanda shook her head as the memory came to the front of her mind, "I...um...I remember he...just before he h-h-hit me, he...he said something about his lieutenant, Mara, being Nightcrawler." She shuddered as she thought of it; how it felt like it had only moments later that she'd pleaded with him not to hurt her baby and then when Lee had arrived and Birol pointed the gun, she'd cowered behind Lee. She hated herself for the weakness of her behavior. What kind of agent was she, if she couldn't handle a little conflict? In her years in the field with Lee long before she'd begun agent training, she'd never acted that way. She'd always been stronger than that. She lightly stroked her abdomen and thought, _But everything's different now. _Having a baby made it different.

"Huh," was Lee's reply as he abruptly turned to head toward his kitchen in an attempt to hide the hurt he knew must be showing on his face that she remembered that, but didn't remember him asking her to be his wife. He reached into a drawer for a serving fork, slamming the drawer shut and began pulling the now cooked bits of chicken from the pot on the stove, jabbing at them violently in his frustration and lobbing them at the serving platter that he'd laid out on the countertop earlier.

"What'd that poor chicken ever do to you?" Amanda quipped from the doorway in an attempt to lighten the mood.

Lee dropped the fork onto the counter and guided her out of the kitchen and into the dining room. "You...uh...you should sit down," he said trying to remember what Francine had told him about being patient with Amanda.

"Lee, come on," Amanda pleaded. "I don't feel good, but I'm not an invalid."

"I know you're not, but you should be taking it easy, resting..."

"I've been resting for the past twenty-four hours since I was checked into the infirmary. They wouldn't even let me shower and only let me out of bed long enough to pee, even then, only with supervision. It...it..." She looked down at the floor, fiddling nervously with her hands, picking at her cuticles.

"Amanda..." lee said in a probing tone as he hooked one finger under her chin, raising her head up to make eye contact with her.

Amanda yanked her head from his light grasp unable to take the intensity of his questing eyes. She nodded toward the table and commented, "Pretty flowers."

"Amanda, don't," he warned as he lightly took both of her hands in his and stepped in front of her forcing her to look at him again. "I wanna' know what's going on in your head. I wanna' help you get better, but I can't do that if you won't talk to me."

Amanda sighed as she gripped his hands tightly, looking down at their entwined fingers, thinking about Francine's questions to her about Lee, her surprise at the discovery of their secret romance, thinking of her comments about not remembering if Lee proposed or not. "Lee...Are...are...w-w-we..." She took a deep breath and looked up at him. "Are we engaged?"

"Amanda, tell me what's bothering you," Lee replied more insistently, dodging her question.

Amanda looked down again, taking long gulping breaths as she tried to fight back the fear that was building again as she thought of her day in the infirmary right on the heels of her abduction. "The...the way they kept me from doing anything for myself, it...it...it was like I was still a hostage," she finally admitted softly without looking up. She pulled her hands from Lee's and stammered awkwardly. "I-I-I...Um...I need to take a shower," then made a hasty escape toward the bedroom, Lee hot on her heels.

As he followed the woman he loved, Lee tried to get a grip on his own emotions, knowing that he needed to be strong for her. He reached the bedroom door, just as she reached the door to the bathroom. He let out a deep breath and said in a much calmer tone that he felt, "Top drawer of the dresser, you'll find some clean clothes that I brought from the house for you."

"Thank you," Amanda replied as she turned toward him, giving him a grateful smile for his thoughtfulness and then turned toward the dresser to get clean clothes. "I...Um..." she hesitated as she tried to pose her question in a way that wouldn't sound as if she were ungrateful as she really did appreciate all the effort he'd gone to.

"What is it, Amanda," Lee asked gently.

"I...Um...I think it's great that you made sure I had some of my own things here, but...um...there's...um...there's one thing missing."

Lee looked at her in alarm wracking his brain to try to think of what he might have forgotten in his haste to escape her mother's cross-examination of him. "I...I...I'm sorry. What did I miss?"

"Um...my robe?" she answered with a chagrined look on her face, feeling enormously guilty for even bringing it up. "You...um...you forgot my robe. I...um...if I'm going to be here a few days, I'd like to have it."

"Oh," Lee said, smiling at her. He planted a quick kiss to her lips and then walked to his closet, pulling a flat box from the top shelf. "I...Um...I didn't forget. I just didn't think you would need it." He handed her the box. "I...I bought this for you a week or so ago. I was going to give it to you this weekend anyway since we'd already planned to spend the weekend together since Joe's got the boys."

Amanda set the box down on the bed, lifted the lid, set it aside and peeled back a layer of tissue paper, smiling at what she saw. Nestled inside the layers of delicate tissue paper was a pale peach-colored satin robe. "It's beautiful." she whispered as she ran her hand over the light, cool fabric.

Lee nodded with a smile. "I'm glad you like it. I thought of you when I saw it and that satiny nightgown you wore the last time you spent the night here. I thought that would come close to matching it." He paused for a beat, and then added, "And I thought keeping it here might make it a little easier for you than carting that heavy terry cloth one around every time you want to spend the night." As he explained the reasons for his impetuous purchase, he felt the ring box once again burning a hole in his pocket; wondering if now would be a good time to tell her about his other purchase for her, this one not so impetuous.

_Lee sighed in frustration as he entered his fourth jewelry store that afternoon after leaving the office, hoping that this would be the last one, thinking desperately about his date with Amanda at Emelio's that night and how much he wanted to have just the right ring for her before then. He fidgeted nervously as he walked to the glass case that held a variety of diamond rings, unable to believe that he was about to do what he was about to do, but it was long past time. He needed to lay all his feelings all out on the line, let Amanda know once and for all that she was it for him, that he was desperately, hopelessly, painfully in love with her and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. What better place to do that than Emelio's since it had sort of become "their" place? He smiled at the thought of it, of how he was finally ready to admit to her that he loved her, but also kicking himself for not doing it sooner. _

_His thoughts were interrupted by a pleasant female voice asking, "May I help you?'_

_"Uh...I...Um." He took a deep breath and tried to calm his jangled nerves. "I'm..." He nodded down toward the rings on display and spit out, "I'm looking for a ring for my girl."_

_The clerk smiled warmly back at him and inquired, "Any particular style that you're looking for."_

_Lee smiled back, thinking her question was a good sign. He'd left the last two stores in a huff due to pushy salespeople trying to goad him into buying the flashiest, most expensive ring in the place even after he'd argued that they weren't Amanda's style. He didn't need that extra aggravation when shopping for an engagement ring was nerve-wracking enough as it was. _

_"Uh...yeah," he answered. "She...um...when it comes to jewelry, she has very simple tastes so I...um...I don't want anything too gaudy or...or too flashy." After a beat, he hastily added, "But I don't want cheap either. I...um...I don't care about the cost. I..." He sighed. "I just want something that she'll like."_

_The woman's smile grew. "She is a very lucky lady. You must love her very much to put so much thought into her ring. Too many men think about the price tag and not enough about the thought behind it."_

_"Yeah?" Lee questioned wondering how that could possibly be. Shouldn't a man think about the woman he was about to marry in deciding what ring to buy?_

_She nodded. "It's sad, but true. I've been doing this for fifteen years and you wouldn't believe the number of guys who think they're more likely to get a yes based on how expensive the ring is or how elaborate the setting is. There are a few like you though, who think about what their prospective mates actually like. So, it sounds like you're looking for maybe a solitaire, not a cluster, maybe even one with smaller diamonds in the band. We have some nice ones over here." She gestured to the next case over indicating for him to look. After a few minutes of watching Lee gaze at the rings, she saw his eyes light up and said, "See something you like?"_

_Lee nodded, pointed and said confidently, "This one. This one's my Amanda."_

_He'd left the store several minutes later, whistling jauntily as he mentally steeled himself for their date that night. His confidence began to wane that night, once he'd been sitting on the barstool at Emelio's for what he felt was far too long. _

_Norman must have sensed his growing agitation because he said, "Relax, Lee. She's always ten minutes late."_

_Of course, the whole mood had been ruined by the arrival of Sonja Chenko and the fact that he'd had to explain his suspicions of who she was with Amanda once she'd finally arrived. How was it that even on their off time, something work-related always interfered? He'd tried to recreate it by relaying to her Norman's use of the word "regulars' in describing them only to be deterred by Amanda's reply of not thinking they were regular at all, sparking a slight debate over it which he'd finally ended by saying, "We will be," but he wasn't as sure of that then as he had been earlier in the day when purchasing her ring. He'd decided to hold off on proposing for a while longer until the mood was right. _

Amanda turned, smiled affectionately at him, and brushed her lips lightly against his to reward him for his thoughtfulness. "That's really very sweet of you. I love it!"

"Good, I'm glad," He replied with a smile back at her.

"I should really get in the shower," Amanda pointed toward the bathroom. "I feel like a big mess."

"Well, with what you've been through, you look amazing to me," Lee said flirtingly, though he couldn't help the worried look that crossed his face as he once again caught sight of the bruise on her face and her paler than normal skin.

"You're sweet. You're a terrible liar, but sweet." She planted another quick kiss to his lips, then plucked the new robe out of its box and headed into the bathroom.

Once the bathroom door was closed behind her, Lee made his way back to the kitchen to finish preparing the chicken broth for her. While he worked, he contemplated their situation, the baby that they hadn't planned on, Amanda's fragile emotional stated, her memory lapses, then thought of his conversation with her mother, how she'd pretty much told him that she knew he'd gotten her daughter pregnant. He knew that the next question from her was going to be what he intended to do about it or what his intentions with Amanda were in general, but he hadn't let her get quite that far.

The chicken broth finally done, he turned the burner to low to keep it warm for Amanda and then once again pulled the ring box from his pocket. He gazed longingly at it, his brow furrowing as he did so, debating again on when he should give it to her, Francine's warning about patience replaying in his mind, but also her warning about not breaking Amanda's trust in him creating a conflict. Amanda had asked if they were engaged and he'd evaded her question. Wouldn't he break her trust by not being truthful? "Screw it." He said as he set the ring box down on the counter for a moment, and then rooted through his kitchen cabinets for place settings, walking back and forth as needed to set the table.

Hearing the sound of the shower stop and knowing she'd be joining him in a few minutes, he filled a soup bowl for her, carried it to the dining room to add to her place setting. He made one final trip to the kitchen to pour a glass of apple juice for her, setting it down on the table and the ring box beside it, just as he heard Amanda's breezy voice saying, "I feel so much better now."


	12. Chapter 12

Lee looked toward the doorway of his dining room and could help smiling at the sight in front of him. Amanda stood there in the new robe he'd bought her and it was clear from the way it clung to her figure that she wore nothing beneath it; her damp hair was pulled back in a large clip at the back of her head except for a few curly tendrils that framed her lovely face. In spite of the bruise, she was a vision. He couldn't help the wave of desire that coursed through him at seeing her, but now was not the time for that, not when she needed healing. He crossed to her, brushed a light kiss to her lips and said, "It looks good on you.' He kissed her again and then smiled brightly at her.

Amanda flushed slightly at his intense scrutiny of her then smiled warmly at him. "Well, you know, the doctor said I should wear loose-fitting clothing to help keep me from getting dehydrated again and you were thoughtful enough to give me this, so I..."

Lee slid his arm behind her and said, "Come on, let's get something in your stomach," as he guided her to her seat at the table helping her into it before taking his own. "Now, in the instructions Dr. Kelford gave me, he said you oughtta' take it slow, little sips until we know that your stomach can handle it."

Amanda nodded and reached for her spoon and that was when she saw the small velvet box next to her drinking glass. Her eyes widened and she turned to Lee with a coy smile and said, "What's that?"

"What's what?" Lee replied obtusely as he took a bite of the sandwich he'd made for himself with the chicken he'd used to make the broth for her. He gave her a wink as he chewed slowly.

Amanda gave him her scolding mom look and replied insistently, "That," with a nod toward the ring box.

Lee slid from his seat, scooping up the ring box as he did and teased, "Oh, you mean this?"

"Yes, that," Amanda answered, trying her best to look irritated with him, but found that she couldn't with the way he was grinning at her.

"Oh, well, this...this is something else that I bought for you, only this I bought more than a week ago. In fact, I bought it more than a month ago," Lee explained as he opened the box to show her the contents, his smile only widening at the look of delight in her eyes."...Before I even told you that I love you." He needed her to know that he hadn't bought it on a whim as he had with the robe; that he'd wanted to marry her for a long time. "I...um...was originally going to give it to you that night at Emelio's, that night that Norman called us regulars, but then Sonya showed up and that kind of ruined it."

"Oh," she replied softly, her eyes transfixed on the diamond ring. "So...um...the question that I asked you earlier about us being engaged..." She paused, took in a breath and finally tearing her eyes from the ring and looking into his, she asked, "Does this mean we are? You never did answer my question."

"Well, that depends on you and how you answer _my_ question," Lee answered. He then pulled the ring from the box, set the box aside, knelt before her, taking her left hand in his right and trying to get the words right to spark her memory, said, "Amanda King, you are the best, the bravest, most beautiful woman I have ever known."

Amanda's eyes lit up at Lee's words, happy tears stinging her eyes as the memory washed over her. "It was real!" she exclaimed. "You _did_ ask me to marry you!' She launched herself at him, flinging her arms around his neck, peppering his face with kisses, knocking them both to the floor.

Lee breathed a sigh of relief that he hadn't lost his grip on her ring and that she was now remembering their brief time together in Addi Birol's hideout. He used his free hand to pull her head down for a long, lingering kiss and once their kiss ended, he told her, "Yes, I asked you to marry me, but if you need me to ask again, I will. I'll ask as many times as it takes to get you to say yes."

"No, Lee," Amanda said with a firm nod as she lightly brushed her lips against his, "You don't need to ask me again. I already said yes once and I meant it."

"Good." Lee nodded and then reached for her hand again, sliding the ring that he'd so carefully picked out for her onto her finger.

"It's beautiful," Amanda mused gazing at her hand for just a moment before planting a firm kiss to his lips. When it ended, she gushed, "We're the luckiest two people on the face of the earth."

Lee laughed heartily and was about to respond, but was interrupted by her stomach growling loudly again. "We better get you and our baby fed."

"Yeah," Amanda agreed as they picked themselves up off the floor and returned to their seats.

"I brought you some crackers to go with that too," Lee indicated with a nod of his head. "If you think your stomach can handle them, that is. Crackers are supposed to help with nausea."

"I'll give it a try," Amanda responded as she reached for one of them and took a tiny nibble. "I feel like I haven't eaten in a year."

Lee watched her for a moment as she took little sips of her broth and minute bites of her crackers, wondering if he should ask her the question that was now plaguing him at her response to his repeating the words he'd said to her during his first proposal. He took another bite of his chicken sandwich, chewing thoughtfully as he worked out in his mind how to phrase the question that he wanted to ask. "Amanda?"

"Hmm?" She looked at him inquisitively.

"There's something that I don't understand. You...um...you said a minute ago, 'it was real,' but...um...Francine said that you...that you didn't remember me asking you to marry me."

Amanda rolled her eyes at the thought of her conversation with Francine and explained, "I never told her any such thing."

"You didn't?" Lee asked hopefully.

"No, I didn't," Amanda stated firmly, looking him square in the eye. "What I told her and Billy was that I didn't know if you proposed or not. I never once said that I didn't remember it. I remembered every word you said and I hoped it was real, but everything...everything has been so scrambled in my mind that it's taking me some time to sort out what's real and what's not. Do you remember when you got there how I reacted?'

"Yeah, you said you could actually feel me and that it was the best hallucination yet." The realization of her words hit him like a ton of bricks. "Oh, you thought my proposal was just another hallucination."

Amanda nodded. "I hoped it wasn't, but you don't know what it was like for me. I kept trying and trying to cling to the hope that you'd come for me, that you'd somehow get me out of there and save the day. The longer I was there and the more that Birol kept me deprived of my senses, the more my thoughts of you turned into visions of you." She paused and took a deep shuddering breath, turning her attention back to her broth for a moment, taking another small sip of it as she tried to compose herself from the panic that was beginning to set in again. Without looking up, she continued her explanation. "But then he'd be there and your face became his, the sound of your voice became the sound of his and by the time you really were there, I-I-I just couldn't quite believe that it was real, that you were really there, that you really asked me to marry you. I kept waiting for you to turn into him again." Lee nodded and just kept his gaze on her, his sandwich forgotten. "Then when Dr. Quidd kept asking me questions about my experience and I was telling him about my hallucinations, I explained it to him just like I'm explaining it to you now and he told me that I had to block out those fantasy images of you and just focus on what Birol did to me because I might be needed to testify against him in the future and I had to be able to do that with a clear mind. He told me that none of those images were real and I had to focus on what was."

"That son of a bitch," Lee growled.

"Lee, don't," Amanda said as she placed a calming hand on his arm. "He was just doing his job. You know, we're both kind of to blame for his thinking that way. If we hadn't been sneaking around as if we have something to be ashamed of, there wouldn't have been a question of whether your proposal was real or not."

"I guess," Lee replied dubiously. "I'm just glad we got that all straightened out." He smiled affectionately at her and nodded toward the ring he'd placed on her finger. "You know your mom will be happy to see that when I take you home. She...uh...she gave me kind of a hard time when I went to get your things."

"Yeah, I can see that. She's been bending my ear about you more than ever since we ran off together. She...um...she knows...about the baby, I mean."

"You told her before you told me?" Lee blurted out without thinking.

At seeing the hurt look on his face, Amanda again patted his arm and explained, "No, I didn't _tell_ her, she just knows. She's been questioning me about it for the past two weeks, but I...um...I only found out for sure myself right before all this mess started. I wanted to tell you so badly, but then when Mrs. D'Angelo showed up talking about how you'd requested your pension and benefits information and how bachelors only do that when they're thinking of getting married, I...um...I wanted to wait. I didn't want to rush you or make you think that we _had _to get married because of the baby. I...um...I've been down that road before and it didn't end well."

"Yeah, I know. I've seen all your background stuff, remember? Speaking of which, we're gonna' have to figure out what to tell the boys. When I was at the house, Phillip asked me very bluntly if I was your boyfriend." Having finished his sandwich and seeing that Amanda had finished her broth, he nodded to her empty bowl, "There's more on the stove if you want it."

Amanda shook her head. "I'm good. Let's just make sure this stays down first. I don't want to overdo it by filling my stomach too much."

"Okay," He replied and began clearing the table.

Amanda rose to help him, following him into the kitchen, "So, what did you tell Phillip?"

"The truth," Lee answered honestly. "Or, well, sort of, I was kind of on the spot. Joe was there giving me this...this look, then your mother got involved and it was...I was thinking that with a baby on the way, I had to tell them _something _about us, you know?"

"I'm glad you did," Amanda replied. "I've been trying to figure out how to bring up the subject to my family ever since we...ever since I got home after that whole Stemwinder mess. I knew that if it turned out that I was pregnant, they'd have to know about you, about us."

"Now that we're getting married, they'll have to get used to me being around."

"I know," Amanda replied as she stifled a yawn. "We'll have to figure that out."

"Well, we'll figure it out another time," Lee stated. "Right now, we should get you to bed. You're exhausted and to tell you the truth, so am I. I...um...I haven't slept since Birol took you."

"Yeah, that sounds like a plan. We can talk more in the morning about what we're gonna' do."

"Good." Lee took her hand and they walked to the bedroom together. As they began to get undressed for bed, Lee's eyes flared in anger at the ugly bruise on just above Amanda's right elbow. "Did Birol do that to you?"

Amanda nodded slowly and replied, "Yeah, the day he took me. When I was in the van, he...uh...he grabbed my arm hard and shoved a gun in my face. I-I-I tried to get away, but I...Um...I wasn't quick enough. It...it all happened so fast and I-I-I was so scared."

Lee folded her in his arms and lightly kissed her forehead. "Shh, you don't have to be scared anymore. You're safe now and we're together."

"And we have a great future to look forward to," Amanda added with an elated smile as she gazed fondly at her engagement ring.

They finished getting ready for bed in silence. Once Lee got Amanda settled into bed, turned out the light and walked away from her side of the bed, she realized that he was not getting in beside her.

"Lee, wait, don't go," she cried in a panic just as she had when held prisoner and her visions of him disappeared.

Lee turned toward her and said, gently, "Amanda, I'm not going anywhere. I was just going to crack the window open the way you like it. I'll be right there." He did as he said he would and slid under the covers beside her.

Amanda wrapped her arms around him, clinging to him tightly. "Don't go," she pleaded. She was just starting to feel as if she were getting her head together, but she couldn't help the nagging feeling that if she let him go, she would wake up to find that she was still in Addi Birol's lair and that him rescuing her had been just one more figment of her imagination.


	13. Chapter 13

Author's Note: Okay, so I said I was only going to have one M-rated scene in this tale, but my muse had other ideas. Thanks to everyone who has been following this story and many, many thanks to Sheila for being my constant sounding board and extra set of eyes.

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Lee was soundly sleeping spooned against his fiancée' when he felt a jolt and heard her scream, "LEE!"

"Amanda, I'm here," Lee said softly as he held her tightly, cradling her trembling body against his, brushing light soothing kisses against her neck and shoulder.

"Oh, Lee, you're here," she whispered, turning in his arms as she tried to get her ragged breathing under control.

"I'm here," he repeated as he softly stroked her hair. "I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere." He placed a tender kiss to her lips. "Now, that I got you to agree to marry me, you're not getting rid of me," he added in a jesting tone to ease her fears.

Amanda chuckled softly and then said, "I'm sorry I'm shaking so badly."

Brushing a lock of hair out of her face, he replied, "I didn't notice. We must be..."

"...shaking together," she finished with him.

"Yeah. He smiled at her. "You really _do_ remember everything."

Amanda nodded, "Yeah, I do."

"Huh. Quidd kept insisting that one of the problems with your recovery was memory loss."

"Mm-mm," she shook her head. "I kept telling him that I remembered it all; that was never the issue. I was just having trouble sorting out what was real and what was hallucination and, not only that, but picking out what order things happened in." Lee nodded in understanding. "I pictured you showing up to rescue me so many times, in so many different ways that by the time you got there, I-I...I felt like I was still dreaming."

"Speaking of dreaming, you wanna' tell me what your nightmare was about?" His anger at Quidd flared again as he learned more and more about his treatment of Amanda, not listening to her, not believing in her, not letting him in to see her. He could have straightened this out a day ago if he'd been allowed to see her and had known what the real problem was.

"Who said I had a nightmare?" She hedged.

"Amanda, come on, this is me you're talking to."

She sighed and explained, "It was the same one with B-B-Birol and the gun. He-he shot you in the face right in front of me and I...I didn't do anything to stop it. I was too scared to move, just hid behind you and let him k-k-kill you," she stammered tears flowing down her face by the time she finished. "I-I-I'm a t-t-terrible partner."

"Is that was this is about? You think that you're not a good partner because you hid behind me?"

She nodded. "I-I-I was so weak, so scared and y-y-you...if that chamber hadn't been empty, he-he-he would have killed you and I would have let him. I was so worried about our baby and I-"

"Amanda, stop," Lee admonished her. "He didn't kill me and in case you forgot or it's not clear, you didn't start out hiding behind me. I stepped in front of you to protect you. If anyone's the terrible partner, it's me for letting you get taken in the first place."

"No, Lee, you...you were my hero," Amanda argued then correct herself, 'you _are _my hero."

"I'm no hero," Lee countered. "You're the real hero. You kept your wits about you; never blew your cover and even when you broke down and pleaded with him not to hurt you, it wasn't for you, it was for the baby. That's what a real hero does. They think about others before themselves."

"That makes you a hero too, for stepping in front of me," she took his hand and laid it on her abdomen, "of us, protecting both of us."

"But you're my hero too, Amanda. Don't you remember the first case that we ever worked together? If you hadn't figured out what Mrs. Welch was up to, hadn't gone in there after me, I'd be a dead man. Do you have any idea how brave that was going in there with no weapons, no training, no backup, putting your own life at risk to save me? I don't know any seasoned field agents who would do that and you did it after only knowing me for a few days. You saved my life that day and you've been saving my life in more ways than one ever since then. That makes you MY hero." He lightly pressed his lips to her and whispered, "I love you."

"I love you," she answered and kissed him, tugging on the back of his head in an attempt to deepen the kiss, teasing his lips with her tongue.

As much as Lee enjoyed the attention from his fiancée, he was beginning to enjoy it too much. He pulled back from her, saying, "No, not tonight, Amanda."

"Lee, please," Amanda whimpered, her voice taking on a pleading tone. With the events of the past few days and her fears of him dying, of her dying, she needed very much to feel that they were both still alive. She nipped at the tender skin just below his ear as she trailed her fingers across his bare chest.

"You need to rest," Lee protested weakly, but couldn't help the arousal building at her touch. No woman had ever set him on fire with just a simple touch the way that she did. He pulled back from her to keep things from going too far. "You've got about three days' worth of sleep to catch up on. In fact the doctor prescribed you a sedative in case this happened, in case you had trouble sleeping."

Amanda shook her head. "I know something better that'll help me sleep," she whispered suggestively as she slipped her hand inside Lee's boxers.

"Amanda," he groaned at the contact. "Please, don't do this to me, not when I'm trying to be strong here so you can get the rest that you need to heal."

Amanda brushed her lips against his and murmured against him. "What I need right now is to feel you, to know that this is real, that we're both really here and alive." She pushed on his shoulder to roll him onto his back as she began trailing soft kisses down his neck to his chest while softly caressing him, delighted to feel him growing hard in her hand, at hearing him groan under her touch, taking satisfaction that for all of his experience, she could garner that reaction from him.

"Oh, Amanda, you don't play fair," He tugged on the back of her head to look at her.

"Lee, I missed you so much, missed this, missed us..."

"I know," Lee replied as he softly caressed her face, mindful of the still-healing bruise and said, "but are you sure it's safe with all you've been through? I...um...I don't want to take a chance of hurting you."

"You tell me," She countered with a knowing grin stopping what she was doing for the moment. "You're the one who read all that paperwork from Dr. Kelford. Did it say anything about it not being safe or did he say it wasn't safe?" She knew what the answer would be because contrary to Dr. Quidd's treatment of her as if she were practically a vegetable, Dr Kelford had listened her and believed her when she'd told him that she wasn't really feeling all that bad anymore than she did during her pregnancies with Phillip or Jamie. Granted, she was tired, nauseated from time to time and a bit lethargic, but she'd been told that could be the residual effects of the zap gas, the sleep deprivation and the starvation adding to her pregnancy symptoms.

"Okay, no," Lee conceded. There had been a lot of stuff about how to prevent dehydration, signs of miscarriage, signs that she might be getting dehydrated again, but nothing in it said that she had to refrain from having sex and Kelford hadn't said to abstain either. "But-"

"No buts, Lee," she nodded toward the clock. "Look, it's 2AM. We went to bed at eight. That was six hours ago so I've had some sleep, you've had some sleep..." She flattened her body against his and kissed him, again teasing his lips with her tongue, urging him to respond.

"All right, you win," Lee said with a defeated sigh as he reached for the bottom of her nightgown bunching it up and when Amanda raised her arms to accommodate him, he pulled it over her head and tossed it aside. Once done, he grasped her hips and rolled her beneath him capturing her lips in a fiery kiss as he ran his hands down her sides. He then began to trail soft kisses down her neck, her chest and down to her stomach, pleased by hearing her soft sighs in response as he did so. He paused in his exploration for a moment, lightly ran his finger over her abdomen, looked up at her and whispered reverently, "I'm gonna' be a dad," the knowledge really just fully sinking in for the first time and everything that meant. "We're gonna' be a family."

Amanda softly stroked his hair and replied with a smile, "Yes, we are."

At seeing the loving smile on Amanda's face, any doubts he had that this was what she wanted vanished. He then continued what he'd begun, hooking his fingers into the sides of her panties and sliding them down her long legs. He then placed a tender kiss on the inside of each thigh, then each hip, another to her stomach, delighting in her wriggling beneath knowing that his teasing was getting to her.

"Lee, please," she hissed.

He looked up at her again, gave her and impish grin and replied, "Please what?" When she gave him an incredulous look, the one that said "are you kidding me?" without her ever saying a word. He chuckled softly and dipped his head between her legs, snaking his tongue out to taste her.

"Yes," she sighed, throwing her head back, sliding her fingers through his hair as he devoured her. Even though it has only been a week since they'd last made love, the events of the past few days had made it feel like years. She soon found herself tumbling over the edge, crying out his name as he brought her to her peak. "LEE!" she screamed, this time not out of fear.

Lee trailed soft kisses from her hips up her body until he was finally eye-to-eye with her again. "You're shaking again," he commented with a mischievous grin as he hovered above her.

"In a good way this time," she replied with a grin of her own as she slid her hands down his back to rest on his bottom.

Lee linked his right hand with her left, nodded toward her ring and said, "You know, this looks good on you too, even better than the robe did."

"I love you," Amanda gushed as she pulled on his hips.

"And I love you," Lee replied as he slowly guided himself into her, taking it easy as he didn't want to hurt her.

"Lee." She sighed again as she used one hand to tug on the back of his head to pull him down to her for another scorching kiss. She raised her hips up to meet his hooking one leg over his back, her fears and her confusion about what was real a distant memory with the reality of holding him inside her, feeling his fingers linked with hers, their lips crashing together repeatedly as they moved in sync together driving them both toward the completion that they could only find together.

They lay wrapped together for a long time afterward, sharing long, slow kisses as they came back down to earth, Lee having rolled them over so that he wouldn't crush her, Amanda cradled against him. He was the first to speak as he ran a hand through the dark curls framing her face, "Feel like you can sleep now?"

"Mm-hmm," she answered contentedly as she lazily trailed her finger across his chest. "I definitely don't need that sedative the doctor prescribed."

Lee laughed heartily, Amanda joining in his laughter. "Good," he replied and couldn't help the grin that wouldn't leave his face. After the stress of the past week, it felt good to laugh with her again. He planted one more kiss to her lips. "I love you."

"I love you too," she replied as she snuggled down into the covers and they drifted back to sleep together.

Lee was the first to awaken the following morning. He lay awake watching his bride-to-be with a heady smile that she was finally sleeping peacefully, her breathing deep and even with no signs of another nightmare plaguing her. After a moment of watching her, he carefully slipped out of bed so as not to disturb her, reaching for his robe. As he cinched it around his waist, he took one last glance at her sleeping form before padding barefoot to the kitchen.

Once there, he got to work filling a teakettle, starting a pot of coffee and while waiting for both, cleaned up the remnants of last night's makeshift dinner, washing, drying and putting away the dishes. He had just poured himself a cup of coffee, doctored it with cream the way he liked it and was about to take a sip when a knock sounded on his door. With a heavy sigh, wondering who would be at his door this early in the morning, he made his way out of the kitchen, through his dining room and living room to the front door. Upon opening it, his irritation only grew. "What do _you_ want?" he said tersely.


	14. Chapter 14

"What do _you_ want?" Lee said tersely.

"Well, good morning to you too," Francine answered breezily, not letting his surliness get to her, as she pushed past him without waiting to be invited in, her arms laden with bakery bags, walking through his living room and into the dining room.

Lee's mouth dropped open as he stared after her wondering what she was up to. He shook his head, closed the door and caught up with her, just as she was setting her burden down on his dining table. "What's all this?" He said with pointing back and forth between the bags.

"Breakfast," Francine replied caustically as if it should be obvious.

Lee took a sip of his coffee, then shook his head and said, "I appreciate that thought, Francine, but I can take care of my own breakfast. Lifelong bachelor, remember?"

"Get over yourself," Francine said acidly as she began unpacking the bags. "I didn't do this for you. I did this for Amanda." As she began to empty the bags of their contents, piling the bakery boxes on the table, she couldn't help noticing the empty ring box on the dining table and added, "Besides, if you were serious yesterday in what you said, you won't be a bachelor for much longer." She nodded toward the ring box, and then fixed him with a curious eyebrow.

"No, you're right," Lee said with a smile. "I won't be."

Francine looked at the elated smile on Lee's face when discussing his future marriage to Amanda and said, "Look at you. You're glowing. Are you sure you're not the pregnant one?"

"I'm just happy, Francine," Lee said simply. Their conversation was interrupted by the shrill whistling of the teakettle. Lee went to the kitchen to get it, Francine hot on his heels, abandoning her project for the moment. Hearing her behind him as he removed the teakettle from the stove, and poured hot water into a cup over the tea bags he'd set up for Amanda, he said, "Coffee?" He hadn't really been expecting her, but he figured she was making a nice gesture so the least he could do was be a gracious host.

"That'd be nice," Francine answered. Lee nodded as he walked to the cupboard to get a cup for Francine. As he prepared Francine's coffee cup, she inquired curiously, "So, you're really serious about marrying her?"

"Yes, Francine," Lee said in irritation as he set her cup down on the counter in front of her more forcefully than was necessary. "Do you think that I'd have spent an entire afternoon running all over this damn city, scouring four different jewelry stores looking for the perfect diamond for her if I weren't? Why do you act so surprised by this?"

Francine sighed. "I guess because I've seen your less than stellar history with women. I've seen the kind of women you gravitate toward and Amanda is far from your usual type."

"Did you ever think that maybe that what appeals to me about her?"

"Hmm, I guess that could be true, but my real concern is what happens down the road. You're happy now, but with your history-"

"History is exactly what it is," Lee interrupted her. "Look, I know that I've made some mistakes in my past when it comes to women, but do you really think I'm such a lowlife that I'd propose to woman without intending to follow through on it?"

Francine thought carefully for a moment at seeing the hurt look on her friend's face and replied, "No, I don't think that you're a lowlife. That thought never entered my mind, but what did enter my mind is that even though you may have just found out that she's pregnant, on some level you had to have known that it was a possibility and I don't know, maybe you thought about the idea of marrying her just in case because you know she'd expect it if she got pregnant. While we're on the subject, how exactly did that happen? I mean, you've never, ever been a guy to let your guard down like that in that past."

"Well, here's a news flash for you, I bought that ring for her before we ever made love and the fact that I did let my guard down with her once we did should give you just one more clue that things are different with Amanda and that my past is just that, past."

"Okay, maybe it is, but for how long? I mean, come on, Lee, you're a guy who used to have four black books for crying out loud and some of those...er...ladies...were into some pretty wild things. How's the den mother of the year going to compete with that long-term?"

"She won't have to." Lee sighed as he tried to explain it in a way that Francine would understand. "Comparing the women of my past to Amanda is like comparing a child's finger-painting with the paint just flung everywhere with no rhyme or reason to an intricate Monet with the colors perfectly balanced and layered. There's just no contest." He then gave Francine a devilish grin and added, "Besides, you don't know Amanda as well as you think you do, not as well as I do."

"Oh?" Francine questioned with a bemused look on her face. "And just what is it about her that I don't know that you do?"

"I wouldn't answer that question if I were you, Scarecrow," Amanda's scolding voice sounded from the doorway.

"I had no intention of doing any such thing," Lee replied smiling at his fiancée' wearing the robe he'd bought her as she leaned in to kiss him.

"Good morning."

"Mmm, morning," he replied as the pair shared another sweet, lingering kiss.

"A Monet, huh?" Amanda questioned a look of amusement on her face. Francine watched the whole interaction in silence marveling at the way Lee's eyes lit up at seeing Amanda enter the room, how he kissed her so tenderly and seemed to come alive just being in her presence. If she hadn't seen it with her own eyes, she'd never have believed it. Lee Stetson had fallen in love.

"Mme-hmm," Lee replied with a smile as he handed her the cup he'd prepared for her. "I made you some herbal tea. I wasn't sure if your stomach could handle coffee yet."

"Thank you, Sweetheart," Amanda replied with a smile as she took the cup from him and took a sip. "That was very thoughtful of you." She then turned to Francine and nodded to her. "Good morning, Francine. What brings you here?" As she said this, Lee slid his left arm around her from behind and Amanda instinctively laid her free left hand over his and leaned slightly against him as she sipped at her tea.

"You do, actually," Francine answered suddenly feeling very out of place with the affection they were showing one another.. "I wanted to check on you, you know, see how you were doing after your...um...ordeal." She nodded toward the diamond ring prominently displayed on Amanda's hand, "And...I...Um...I guess to congratulate you two."

"Thank you, Francine," Amanda replied with a glowing smile leaning back further to give Lee a soft kiss.

"She brought you breakfast too," Lee told her. He then looked at Francine, and asked, "What _did_ you bring her?"

"Oh, I brought...um...bagels...English muffins...even some plain cake doughnuts. I figured her stomach couldn't quite handle the normal breakfast stuff like bacon and eggs, hash browns and stuff like that, and I know how you are about keeping real food at your place."

At Lee's affronted look, Amanda chuckled and said, "She makes a good point."

"I'll have you know that I have gotten much better about that since I've been dating you," Lee pouted.

"Yes, you have," Amanda agreed with a smile, "And about cleaning up after yourself." She then planted a quick kiss to his lips and made her way into the dining room with her cup to see what Francine had brought.

Lee followed behind her and countered, "Well, I have to with you around or I'd never be able to find anything."

"Oh, come on, it's just habit after cleaning up after two boys on a regular basis."

"Is that how it is?" Lee fired back with a mock pout. "I'm just one of your boys now?"

She grinned at him and fired back, "Well, I do sometime feel like I have three children instead of just two."

"Ooh, ouch," Francine said with a chuckle as she watched the banter from the doorway of the kitchen still in awe of how different Lee was with Amanda away from the office, how relaxed and there was just no other word for it...happy.

"You're going to have three children now," Lee reminded her as he shuffled toward her and laid a hand on her stomach.

"Well, You know...Uh..I...uh...I should probably go...uh...leave you two alone," Francine sputtered.

"No, Francine, it's okay," Lee replied. "You were nice enough to bring breakfast and from the looks of it," he said with a nod toward the spread on the table still only partially unpacked from the bags, "you brought way more than Amanda and I can eat. You should join us for breakfast, if nothing else."

"I don't want to intrude," Francine protested.

"You're not," Amanda insisted as she moved to finish unpacking the bags that Francine had brought.

Lee stopped Amanda with a gentle hand on hers and said, "Why don't you let me and Francine do that? I promised your mom I'd have you call her when I saw you. So why don't you go give her a call while we get breakfast ready?"

"Good idea. I should probably get dressed too," Amanda said kissing him quickly before heading off for the bedroom.

"Well, aren't you two already the picture of domestic bliss, playing house here in your cozy little apartment," Francine said once Amanda was out of earshot as she worked on pulling boxes out of the bags she'd brought with her.

"Can it, Francine, or I'll rescind my initiation to breakfast," Lee warned as he returned to the kitchen to retrieve plates and utensils walking back into the dining room with them to set the table.

"I'm just concerned about what's going to happen once you two get married. I mean, it's one thing to be relaxed and comfortable here, but her talking about her boys made me think about what's going to happen later on. By marrying her, you're not just getting her and your kid, you're getting her kids with her ex too."

"Don't you think I've thought about that, Francine?" Lee sighed.

"So what are you gonna' do, move to the suburbs, raise a houseful of kids, join the PTA, become a Little League dad and all that jazz?"

"Look, to be honest, I don't know how I'm going to handle all of that, being their stepfather or being a father myself for that matter, but none of what you just said sounds horrible to me the way it used to. I just met the boys yesterday, so I know that's going to be a challenge, but one thing that I do know is that I won't be doing it alone. I'll have Amanda there with me every step of the way and I trust her to tell me if I'm not doing it right. I've learned in the three years that I've known her that there's no challenge we can't face together."

"Wow," Francine said impressed. "You're really committed."

"Yeah, I really am," Lee replied. "I can't see the rest of my life without her in it." He paused for a beat, looked Francine square in the eye and said sincerely, "I love her," then added for emphasis, "really, _really_ love her."

"I certainly hope so," Amanda said from behind him as she re-entered the room. "Otherwise you wasted an awful lot of money on this ring."

"You seem like you're feeling better," Francine commented. "Getting your sense of humor back."

"Speaking of which, what exactly were you two laughing about yesterday?" Lee inquired, looking at first Francine then Amanda.

"Oh...um...well... it was like Francine said, just a little girl talk," Amanda answered. "Boy, this looks good."

Amanda nodded toward the table as Francine exited for the kitchen saying, "Please tell me you have butter in your fridge."

"Yes, Francine," Lee called back as he held out Amanda's chair for her.

When Francine returned with the butter, Lee said, "Now, I'm gonna' go get dressed. You ladies go ahead and get started and don't talk about me while I'm gone."

When both women gave him a who-are-you-kidding look, he winked and then left the room.

"I just can't believe this," Francine said with a shake of her head as she reached for a bagel. "Under your influence, Lee's doing his own housework, keeping his fridge stocked, not living like a frat boy anymore."

Amanda laughed and replied, "You should have seen this place before I started spending more time here."

Francine took a deep breath and grudgingly admitted, "You've been good for him. You make him happy."

"He makes me happy too, Francine."

"Good," Francine said with a firm nod. "You listen to me, Amanda King, if the day ever comes that he stops making you happy and needs a good ass-kicking, you come see me and I'll take care of it."

Amanda couldn't help laughing at the imagery that Francine's words created and amid her laughter answered, "Oh, I think that's something I can take care of all by myself, but if I ever need any backup, you'll be the first person I call."

Lee returned to the table and shook his head. "What is it with you two and the giggling when I'm out of the room?" He then turned to Amanda and asked, "Did you get a hold of your mom?"

Amanda shook her head. "Answering machine. She's probably not up yet. It's just as well though. I don't know that I'd be able to hold off telling her that we're engaged and that's something I should really tell her in person."

"Why?" Lee asked, looking worried. "You think she'll take it badly?"

"Oh, no, I'm sure she'll be thrilled," Amanda assured him. "She's been after me to get married again since before the ink was even dry on my divorce papers and even more so since you start calling the house more often."

Lee laughed and was just about to sit down when there was another knock on his door. "Who could that be?"

Amanda shrugged. "I don't know, Billy, maybe. If Francine decided to come by to check on me, maybe he did too."

Lee made his way to the door and upon opening it, his good mood instantly faded. "Get the hell out of here," He growled.


	15. Chapter 15

"Get the hell out of here," Lee growled.

"Now, Lee, I know we didn't agree on Amanda's course of treatment, but I'm here to help," Dr Quidd replied. "Weren't you the one who said I spend too much time in my office?"

Lee stood in his doorway, not moving and not allowing the doctor entrance to his home. "Did you hear what I said? You are NOT coming in here. Not just turn around and go back the way you came."

At hearing Dr. Quidd's voice, Amanda said, "No," as she felt a wave of nausea grip her. "NO!" she screamed and went tearing toward the bathroom.

"Amanda!" Lee called after her. He glared at Quidd and found himself torn between ripping him a new one and helping an obviously frightened Amanda. He made his decision in a half-second and followed his fiancée' needing to know what had set her off again, nearly knocking Francine over who'd exited the dining room to see what was up.

When he reached the bathroom, he found Amanda crouched on the floor, retching violently and shaking uncontrollably, tears streaming down her face.

"Amanda?" he said softly as he knelt to reach for her and was startled by her jumping at the sound of his voice and scooting away from him, pressing her back against the tub.

"Leave me alone," she cried in terror. "Don't touch me, don't hurt me, don't hurt my baby."

Lee cautiously crept toward her, trying not to scare her further as it was clear that at the moment, she didn't recognize him. "It's me," he said in a soothing tone. "It's Lee..."

"No," she argued with a shake of her head. "no, no, it's not. you're not Lee. Lee isn't here." She tried to scramble away from him but had no place to go. "M-m-my mind is playing tricks on me. He-he told me you're not here."

Lee took her hands and placed them on his face as he'd done when he'd arrived to rescue her and repeated the words he'd said to her then "Go on feel it. It's me."

"It's you?" she questioned warily as she caressed his face. "You're here?"

Lee breathed a sigh of relief as he saw the recognitions in her eyes. "Amanda, it is _really_ me." He then pulled her into his arms and held her close, wondering what had sent her down this path again, Leland's words about thinking inside the puzzle once again running through his mind. What piece of the puzzle was this? He'd thought after last night that Amanda was on the road to recovery and that her fears had been lifted, but now...

"Don't let him hurt our baby," Amanda cried as she shuddered against him clinging to him tightly.

"Shh, Honey," Lee tried to soothe her. "I won't let anyone hurt our baby. You can count on that." He placed a tender kiss to her forehead and asked her, "Who do you think is going to hurt our baby?"

"B-B-Birol, h-he said I gave him the perfect tool to use against you. that if y-you didn't give him N-N-Nightcrawler, he'd-" she broke off abruptly unable to complete the sentence.

"Amanda, Birol can't hurt you or that baby. He's locked up in a holding cell at the agency."

"No." Amanda shook her head. "I-I-I heard h-him. He's out. H-h-he came back to hurt me, hurt our baby, to t-t-take me away again."

"No, Amanda," Lee said in a firm tone. "Birol's not here. He's far, far away and I promise you, he will never hurt you again, never hurt our baby. That's Dr. Quidd in there." As he said the words, he began to piece together what was going on in Amanda's mind.

"Quidd?" she questioned as she closed her eyes and tried to clear the fog in her brain, reflecting back on her time in the infirmary. As she did, she found that images of her calling for Lee in the infirmary overlapped with images of her calling for Lee while in Birol's hands, Quidd's voice saying, "Lee isn't here," mingling with Birol saying the same words when her hallucinations were at their worst. She tried hard to concentrate on separating the two in her mind, but the bare white walls of both rooms blended into to one as the voice in her head comingled. She sobbed against Lee as her panic increased at hearing Quidd talking about drugs that could hurt the baby, Birol talking about the drugs he'd given her and how they might affect Scarecrow's baby, gleefully laughing about it. "Quidd wants to hurt the baby, wants to drug me, wants to keep me prisoner. W-w-when you disappeared after St-St-Stemwinder was b-b-blown; he wanted to drug me then t-t-too."

"I'm not going to let that happen. Listen, you stay here. I'm going to get rid of Quidd once and for all, okay? I promise you, he won't drug you and he won't hurt you or the baby." He attempted to extract himself from her arms, but she only clung to him tighter.

"Don't' go," she pleaded, terrified that if she let him go, she'd find herself alone in the white room with Addi Birol again. "B-B-Birol will drug me again and hurt the baby."

"I'll be back, I promise. Let me go take care of Birol, okay?" He wasn't sure if going along with her delusion was the best thing to do, but he had to try something now that he had another piece of the puzzle in place. He kissed her firmly to remind her that he was real and quickly rose to make his way back to his living room to find Francine arguing with Quidd and blocking his path.

"You are NOT going in there," Francine stated adamantly. "Did you see her?"

Francine, I got this," Lee said as he approached the shrink, a look of pure fury etched on his face, his hands balled into fists. "Just what part of 'Get the hell out of here' did you not understand?"

"Now, Scarecrow, listen," Quidd said as he backed away from the irate agent coming toward him.

"No, You listen and listen good!" Lee spat. "You are not going anywhere near her. Do you hear me?"

"Lee, back off," Francine warned with a hand on his arm as she sensed that Quidd was in for a pummeling.

"Do you have any idea what you did to her?" Lee was a bomb ready to explode. "You keeping her locked up in the infirmary, telling her that I wasn't real, wasn't there for her, that the things I said to her were a figment of her imagination, all of that has only made her worse. She thinks you and Birol are one and the same!"

"All the more reason that she should be back at the agency and undergoing some intense therapy, so she can sort out what's real and what's not. She needs more help than you can give her."

"Oh, I'll make sure that she gets the therapy she needs, but it won't be by you. You are not to go near her ever, ever again. You got me, Pal!" Lee jabbed a finger into the older man's chest. "If she needs more help than I can give her, I'll take her to Claudia or to Pfaff, but not you! Now, you're going to turn around and get the hell out of my house and you are never," he placed both hands on Quidd's chest to push him toward the door, "never..." he shoved him again, "...to so much as even look at her again."

"You're making a mistake. you saw her just now, the terror, the confusion..."

"...Brought on by you. she was already terrorized and you just terrorized her further. She was perfectly coherent and we were talking and laughing until you showed up here. She heard your voice and it sent her into a tailspin again."

"He's right," Francine concurred with a nod.

"All I did was try to drive home a hard dose of reality to her, something you oughtta' try if you want her to get better and stop feeding her delusions of a happily ever after!"

"Delusions? I'll show you delusions," Lee snapped as he pulled his fist back, only to be stopped by Francine's hands gripping his arm.

"Lee, don't," she warned. "He's not worth losing your job over."

Lee took a deep breath and realizing she was right, relaxed a little. "Get out of here." He then turned to head back to Amanda only to hear a thunk behind him. He spun around quickly to find Quidd shaking his head and Francine shaking her hand.

"You heard him," Francine said coolly narrowing her eyes at him.

"Don't think I won't report this to Melrose, Desmond," Quidd said as he rubbed his jaw where she'd hit him.

"Be my guest," Francine said nonchalantly with a wicked smile.

"And you too, Scarecrow, for refusing to allow Amanda to get the treatment she needs."

"She doesn't need _your_ kind of treatment," Lee countered as he gave the doctor one more shove and slammed the door in his face, turning the dead bolt behind him. Once done, he turned to Francine, a look of amusement on his face. "What happened to 'he's not worth it'?" he questioned.

"Well, given the situation, You couldn't very well hit him without it looking bad for you at the agency, but I could," she explained with a smirk. "I'm not as close to Amanda as you are."

Lee couldn't help chuckling a bit at that, but his laughter soon died as his thoughts turned back to Amanda, "Thanks, but I...Uh..." He nodded toward the bedroom.

"Go, I'll stick around in case you need me."

As he walked toward the bedroom, he paused for a moment, turned back to Francine and said, "I'm grateful."

"You should be," she said archly as shook her hand again, and then held it up for him to see. "I broke a nail for you."

Lee chuckled again, shook his head, and then took a deep breath to steel himself for which Amanda might be waiting on the other side of the door for him. He walked softly through the bedroom and re-entered the bathroom to find her now standing up at the counter, her knuckles white from gripping the edge of the sink tightly staring straight ahead at the open medicine cabinet, a glazed look in her eyes. "Amanda?" he whispered, not wanting to startle her again. When he got no response, he approached her cautiously, reached for her hands to release her grip on the sink and said a bit louder, "Amanda."

Lee soon found himself to be the startled one as Amanda whipped around and punched him squarely in the face, knocking him backward. "You bastard!' she shouted. "You lied to me! You're not Lee! You-you-you're HIM! You just wanna' drug me too, kill my baby!'

"Amanda, no, it's me, it's Lee," he protested completely thrown by her violent reaction.

"I won't let you hurt my baby," Amanda hissed through clenched teeth as she raised her fist to hit him again, but this time it was caught expertly by Lee's hand.

Lee gripped both of Amanda's hands tightly in his and said, "No, Amanda. it _is _me. It is really me." Shifting to clasp both of her hands in one of his, he used his other to softly caress her face. "Remember? Last night, you had a nightmare and I touched you just like this, brushed your hair away from your face like this," he demonstrated by smoothing her rumpled hair away from her face. "Remember how I kissed you?" He lightly brushed his lips against hers. "Remember how we made love?"

Amanda closed her eyes and tried to focus her scattered mind, "No, Uh-uh," she said as she opened them again.

"Yes, Amanda," Lee countered. "Think, Amanda, remember."

"Then explain those," Amanda nodded toward the prescription bottles in the medicine cabinet.

"Remember, I told you Dr. Kelford prescribed a sedative for you in case you needed it to sleep? Remember, you said last night that you didn't need it because..."

"Because making love was a better sedative," Amanda replied.

"Yes, Amanda, yes, that's it," Lee said encouraged by her response.

Still looking skeptical, Amanda stammered, "W-what about the other one?"

"Prenatal vitamin, for the baby," Lee answered. "I didn't give it to you last night because Dr. Kelford's instructions said to wait until we were sure you'd keep it down."

Amanda nodded in understanding, visibly relaxing. "Okay."

"Ahem," came Francine's voice from behind them. Lee turned to her and noticed she had a serving tray in her hands as she said, "Everything okay in here?"

"Yeah," Lee answered. _For now, _he thought dismally.

"I...uh...put this together for her. I thought..."

"Thanks, Francine," Lee said. He turned back to Amanda and said, "Come on, you need to eat and then you need to rest," He guided her out of the bathroom and to the bed and he and Francine helped her get settled and then Lee walked back to the bathroom for her prescriptions, this time deciding that Amanda was going to take the sedative so her mind could rest whether she wanted to or not.

As her returned to the bedroom with him, Amanda eyed him warily and he quickly responded, "Vitamins, for the baby," cringing a little bit for only being partially truthful with her, but feeling it was necessary for her health.

Thirty minutes later, Amanda sound asleep, he and Francine exited the bedroom with the remnants of Amanda's breakfast and toward the kitchen. Once there, he turned on Francine and demanded, "What the hell did Quidd do to her during the Stemwinder mess?"


	16. Chapter 16

"What the hell did Quidd do to her during the Stemwinder mess?" Lee's fury at Quidd was only growing as he rubbed his sore jaw and thought about what had caused it.

"Nothing," Francine answered. She then gestured toward his face where it was beginning to swell. "You okay there?"

"Yeah," Lee grumbled, still a little stunned by Amanda's assault on him. "She...Uh...she thought I was trying to hurt her or hurt the baby and she..." He gestured with his fist. "I...Uh...she completely blindsided me."

"Hmm," Francine mused. "Has she been taking more hand-to-hand lessons since she started formal agent training?"

"I don't know, but I know I never saw it coming." He smiled slightly in spite of the pain. "It was a beauty right hook though."

"Well, maybe there's hope for Amanda yet," Francine replied, amusement dancing in her eyes.

"But you still haven't answered my question. What happened to her after Stemwinder fell apart? Amanda told me they'd been grilling her for hours, but she never gave me a lot of the details."

"It's just like she said. They grilled her for hours, nothing more."

"Francine, come on. How long have we known each other? Don't you think I can tell when you're being less than truthful?"

Setting the serving tray on the kitchen counter, she hurried into the dining room and said, "You know what? Now that we've got Amanda fed, you should eat too. I'm betting you haven't had a decent meal since this whole thing started." She busied herself with the food still on the table. "You like cream cheese on your bagels, if I remember right."

"Would you cool it with the bagels, huh?" Lee said as he entered the room behind her.

"Look, I know that I may not have Amanda's skills in the kitchen, but I can still spread cream cheese on a bagel. I mean, how much culinary talent does _that _really take?" She placed a newly-doctored bagel on his plate, then reached for his discarded coffee cup as well as her own and brushed past him to the kitchen. "I bet you can use a warm-up on your coffee too."

Lee followed her back into the kitchen. "Okay, Francine, cut out the happy hostess routine and just give me a straight answer, would ya'?"

After finishing pouring the coffee, she finally turned to face him, let out a deep sigh and said, "You don't know what it was like after Stemwinder was compromised and you disappeared. Smyth was out for blood, wanted your head on a platter." She then crossed to his refrigerator. "Cream _and_ sugar, right?" She then fixed him with a devilish grin.

Lee glared at her for a moment, but couldn't help laughing at the knowing expression on her face. "Thanks, Francine." He smiled at her attempt to lighten the mood and added, "But if you poison my coffee with sugar, you'll be the next one thrown out."

Francine chuckled softly as she poured a dollop of cream in Lee's coffee and handed it to him. She picked up her own coffee cup, then linked her free arm with his and said, "Come on. If you'll agree to sit down and eat, I'll tell you everything I know."

Lee nodded. "Yeah." They made their way back into the dining room and took their seats across from one another. "I guess I can't let all your efforts here go to waste." He nodded to the spread on the table and picked up his bagel. "Now, tell me what happened."

Francine sighed again, nervously picking at her English muffin and began, "Smyth's exact words were 'Sweat the housewife and bring me Stetson's still-beating heart.' He insisted that Amanda was in it with you, accused her right to her face of being just as big a traitor as he thought you were. When her polygraph results were somewhat shaky, he ordered a Class A interrogation with Quidd at the helm."

"What?" Lee said, abruptly dropping his half-eaten bagel on his plate. He knew how rough a Class A interrogation could be, the mind-bending drugs used and how they could affect people. It was just one step short of torture.

"Relax, Lee," Francine urged him with a hand on his to cool him down. "He never followed through on it, but there was a moment that he was in the interrogation room with Amanda when he threatened her with it, told her that Smyth had ordered it if she wouldn't cooperate voluntarily. He never got a chance to do it though. Billy put a stop to it right away and decided that the best way that we could figure out what was going on was to turn her loose and see if she led us to you." She paused for a moment as she reflected back on it. "Of course, knowing what I know now, it makes perfect sense...Her polygraph results being all out of whack, I mean. She was hiding her personal relationship with you." She recalled how upset Amanda had been in Billy's office when talking about Sonja Chenko. "Billy was right in what he said yesterday. I should have guessed then that you two were involved by the way she reacted when we were talking about your little Russian lover."

"Sonja Chenko was _**never **_my lover," Lee stated adamantly. "I tried and tried to get out of that assignment." As he thought back to that day, his anger at Quidd only increased as he recalled how he'd encourage him to pursue the "relationship" with Sonja and to use Amanda to do it. The damned Lisbon variation. His mind then drifted to him explaining it to Amanda in their office, how they'd have to pretend to be lovers. It hadn't hit him then, but looking back on it now, he realized that her response of "I can make that adjustment," had been just one more hint that she wanted more from him and like an idiot, he'd missed it.

Francine held up her hands in surrender and replied, "Okay, I get it. All I can think is that with what Birol did to Amanda and what Quidd did by keeping her in the infirmary with no visitors, thinking that she was a babbling mess, talking about drug therapy in front of her..." She paused, took a sip of her coffee, then continued. "She must be associating his threats during the Stemwinder fiasco with her abduction. I'm not therapist, but having just gone through a similar ordeal in Afghanistan when I did that favor for Abernathy, I can see how in her mind she'd make that association and see Quidd as just as big a danger to her as Birol."

Lee nodded. "What I saw in there...It seems like she can't separate what Birol did to her from what Quidd did to her."

"When you were talking to the doctors about her condition, Amanda had a moment of panic after Billy left the room when it was just the two of us. She...for a moment, it seemed like she didn't recognize me, then out of nowhere, she screamed at me to get away from her, that I was going to stab her. I don't know where that came from. When you came in later and saw us laughing together, it was because I was trying to keep her calm. I made a very bad joke about the time that we were locked together in the freezer, how we talked about you... I had...Well, you know me, I told her not to expect you to come charging in on a white horse. Talking about that stuff, reminding her of the conversation we that had in the freezer...it...um...it seemed to bring her back to reality. Then I just asked her some questions about you, mostly being nosy, but honestly I was trying to figure out how serious you really were about her." She shook her head and commented, "I still don't know what caused her to freak out like that. One minute I was talking to her about getting her stomach calmed down and getting her some real food and the next, she was acting like I was trying to kill her."

Lee pushed his plate aside, rose from his seat and began pacing. "It probably triggered her memory of when she ate the drugged chicken sandwich that was meant for me." He ran a hand through his hair and let out a deep sigh. "Francine, can I trust you? I mean, _really _trust you?"

"Lee, come on," Francine said, her bright blue eyes darkening.

At seeing the hurt look on his friend's face, Lee felt a wave of guilt course through him. "Sorry. It's just that...Amanda doesn't want anyone to know, so if I tell you..."

Francine rose from her seat, crossed the room, laid a hand on his shoulder to halt his pacing and said, "Lee, if you tell me not to say anything, I'll take it to my grave, I swear."

Lee nodded. "Amanda lied to everyone about not remembering anything that happened when she was drugged. She was so embarrassed by her behavior, that she pretended it was all a blank. She only told me the truth this summer that she remembered every bit of it, including this hallucination that she had of you coming at her with a butcher knife. That's why she..."

"Ohhh," Francine replied as she idly rubbed the back of her head where Amanda had knocked her out with a vase.

"Somehow whatever Birol did to her, whatever Quidd did to her, is getting all these events confused in her mind. She told me last night that she was having trouble putting together the order that things happened in. Maybe it's not just the things that happened during her abduction, but other events too." Lee, having lost his appetite, walked toward his living room and began pacing again.

Francine followed him and countered, "Or maybe, the traumatic events of her abduction have just triggered memories of other traumatic events that have happened to her since she's been with the agency."

Lee slammed his cup down on the coffee table, sloshing its contents onto the table's surface. He flung himself onto his sofa, leaned his head back against it for a moment before sitting bolt upright. "I don't know, maybe Quidd was right about one thing. Maybe I can't give her the help she needs. Maybe...I don't know...maybe I should never have taken her out of the infirmary. Maybe I'm hurting her more than helping her."

Francine sat on the sofa next to him and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder at seeing the anguished look on his face. "Lee, no, don't do this to yourself. You're doing the best you can for her."

"I just keep thinking back to that time that she had amnesia, you know, the doctor said that familiar places, familiar things would help her feel more comfortable and that's...that's what I was trying to do. Her house would be better, but I can't take her there in her condition, not with her mother there. I...There's no way that I'd be able to explain it to her."

"Familiar things, huh?" Francine chewed on her lower lip as a thought occurred to her and looked around the room as if searching for something.

"What is it?" Lee asked her knowing that look on her face.

"Do you have her purse?" She continued to look around.

"On the entry table." He gestured toward the entryway and Francine quickly retrieved Amanda's purse and dumped the contents of it onto the coffee table. "Francine, what the hell do you think you're doing? You have no right to go through her things."

"Relax, Lee, I'm not invading her privacy, but I just thought of something that might help." She rooted through the pile on the table until she found what she was looking for. "A-ha! This oughtta' do it." She showed Lee the plastic sleeve she'd pulled from Amanda's wallet.

"I don't get it," Lee said with a bewildered shake of her head. "Her driver's license? How's that going to help?"

"Boy, I can see Paul Barnes picked the right codename for you, Scarecrow," she commented acidly. "Not her license, Dumbass. Look, she's got pictures of her kids in here too. I may poke fun at her for all the mom stuff she does, but one thing that we both know about Amanda is that her children mean everything to her. I mean, when she tore out of here as if her ass was on fire, and I was trying to keep Quidd from following her, I heard her screaming about not hurting her baby. Even though she was out of it, I think it's that natural protective mother bear instinct of hers kicking in."

Lee's eyes it up. "You know, you may be onto something there. If we can't take her home where she might feel more comfortable, maybe we can at least bring something of her home to her." He took the sleeve from Francine and began flipping through the photos. "This just might help. Francine, I owe you one."

"Oh, you owe me more than one," she countered. "In fact, I'm counting up just how many you owe me and I fully intend to cash-" Francine's words were cut off by the ringing of the telephone. When Lee just let it ring, she looked at him quizzically.

Lee shook his head and answered her look with, "Machine. I don't feel like talking to anyone right now." Francine nodded in understanding, but when the machine picked up and they heard the voice on it, replying to Lee's on the machine, Lee shifted slightly, his mood shifting as well.

"My daughter left a message saying that I could reach her at this number," Dotty West's voice rang out. "Why does it not surprise me that it turns out to be yours, Mr. Stetson? I don't know what's going on, but I would like very much to talk to Amanda. This whole thing has been very confus-"

Dotty's voice was cut off by Lee picking up the phone, turning off the machine and saying, "Mrs. West, it's me. No, we're not really working out of town...No, it's not like that." He flushed slightly as he replied to Dotty's last comment. "I'm afraid it's much more serious than that. Listen, I don't really want to discuss it over the phone, but there's something going on with Amanda that you should know about. Do you have pen and paper handy? I'm going to give you my address." After providing his future mother-in-law with his address and directions to get there, he said, "Can you come by for lunch around one? I promise, I'll tell you everything then."

When he finished his call, Francine stared at him open-mouthed and asked incredulously, "Are you completely crazy?"

"No, Francine, it's time. Long past, in fact." He then picked up the phone again, dialing quickly and when the phone was answered, he said, "Billy, I need a favor." He explained what was going on and what he needed from him.

In his office, Billy shook his head as he listened to Lee's request, just as Dr. Quidd barreled into his office looking as if her were about to leap over the desk. Billy held up a hand to stop him and said, into the phone, ""I'll take care of your problem as soon as I can, Scarecrow, but right now I think I may have a bigger one to take care of first."

Dr. Quidd barked at Billy, "You're damn right you do! We need to have a serious talk about Scarecrow and Mrs. King."


	17. Chapter 17

"Have you ever heard of knocking," Billy snapped at Quidd.

"I-I-I-" Quidd stammered at the stern look on Billy's face.

Billy rose from his seat, narrowed his eyes at Dr. Quidd and replied coolly, "You're right. We do need to have a talk. Sit down." When Quidd didn't move, he bellowed, "I said sit!" Quidd backed away from the desk and sat in one of the chairs in front of it while Billy moved from behind his desk to close the blinds. Quidd trembled slightly at seeing this, as he knew that only meant one thing. He was in for it. "Now, I wanna' know just what the hell you've done to Amanda King!"

"All I've done is try to help her snap out of her fantasy world," Quidd answered defensively.

"Not the way I hear it," Billy argued. "The way I heard it, all you've done is make her worse, increase her terror by belittling her, keeping her locked up in the infirmary, ignored her begging to see Lee-"

"Is that what Scarecrow told you on the phone just now? I tried to tell him that with all these delusions she was having of him as this fairly-tale hero, that his presence would have only made it worse. I was just at his apartment and you should have seen her. She's more frightened now than she was when she was in my care. When I tried to help her, I was stopped by not only him but your assistant as well." He pointed to his jaw and explained how Francine had belted him.

Billy clamped his lips together for a moment to keep from laughing since this was still a serious situation, making a mental note to give Francine a raise in her wardrobe allowance. "First of all, that phone call from Scarecrow is none of your damn business-"

"How can you say that?" Quidd cut in with a look of incredulity. "He's interfering with the treatment of my patient and so is Desmond! You're letting whatever spin he put on this-"

Billy held up a hand to stop Quidd's rant and continued as if he hadn't been interrupted, "Second, Scarecrow didn't tell me anything about you. He didn't have to." Billy reached over to pick up a file from his desk and dropped it in Quidd's lap. "This is Dr. Kelford's report on her condition. It's all right there." He then fixed Quidd with a piercing glare. "And finally, Lee's not interfering with the care of your patient because she's no longer your patient. I've already had all of her files transferred to Dr. Joyce. She'll be taking over Amanda's psychological rehabilitation from here."

"You can't be serious!' Quidd shouted, rising from his seat and staring Billy down.

Billy poked him sharply in the chest with one finger, pushing him back toward the chair and said, "Didn't I tell you to sit down? Claudia is in charge of Amanda's care from this point forward and until I tell you differently, you're not to go near her again; not until I hear from Claudia that her mental state is stable."

"Well, if you ask my opinion, Mrs. King needs a whole lot more than psychological rehabilitation," Quidd retorted hotly as he sank back into his chair and folded his arms across his chest defiantly.

"I don't believe anyone did," A cool voice said from the doorway. Both men turned just as the door was being closed to see Dr. Smyth lighting a cigarette before continuing with, "Ask your opinion, that is." He took a long, slow drag from his cigarette, fixing Quidd with his typical are-you-going-to-dare-to challenge-me death glare.

"Be that as it may, I feel I have to say that in my observances of her, going all the way back to Stemwinder when she was rambling on about Scarecrow and his promises to her, she's not cut out to be a field agent." Quidd then turned his attention to Billy and added, "I don't know what you were thinking after that mess in even considering allowing her into the agent candidate program. She's far too emotional to be an effective field agent. This latest incident and how she's reacted to it only proves my point. She clearly lacks the mental stamina necessary to handle being faced with real conflict. You should never have allowed a mere housewife into such dangerous situations, especially not with the way you've let Scarecrow coddle her."

Billy opened his mouth to speak, but was stopped by Dr. Smyth waving a finger at him. "Billy, I know that you have other things to do. I'll take it from here." He then turned his attention to Quidd and nodded with his head toward the door, making his way to the conference room.

Upon entering the room, he closed the blinds before turning his attention back to Quidd. "Surely, you're not questioning _my_ authority, Dr. Quidd," Smyth questioned menacingly. "It was I who offered Mrs. King the opportunity for advancement, not Melrose; an opportunity she earned by her unwavering loyalty to this country and to this agency despite the fact that we showed no loyalty to her." He shook his head and added, "As for her being too emotional, she's proven in that last three years that that is just what our temperamental Scarecrow needs in a partner to keep him out of hot water."

"I disagree," Quidd argued. "The worst thing that you could possibly do is keep them paired as partners, especially now that we know that they've had a personal relationship on the side."

"You're surprised by this?" Smyth asked him with a devious smile.

Quidd snorted and replied, "Nothing surprises me when it comes to the depths Scarecrow will sink to in order to get what he wants from a woman, but this time he's gone too far. He's done nothing but baby her for the past three years instead of allowing her to be faced with the cold, hard reality of how brutal this job can be for fields agents. Now, she's just found out the hard way and she's proven that she can't handle it."

Smyth smiled again and rather than replying to the insults Quidd had flung at Lee and Amanda, countered with, "You know it occurs to me that for a man who's spent years studying human behavior, you have yet to learn how to show any. Billy's quite right in assigning Mrs. King's case to Dr. Joyce. She has the gift of compassion and you don't." At the insulted look on Quidd's face he continued with, "Don't get me wrong. Your lack of empathy has its merits, making you a valuable asset in the interrogation room; however, it makes you a poor counselor for agents in need of therapy. Mrs. King will get the treatment she needs by Dr. Joyce and you're to keep your grubby little paws off of her case."

"But-" Quidd protested.

"Just to be sure that you do, you're on a leave of absence until further notice. Dr. Pfaff will be taking over your other cases until I hear that Mrs. King has made a full recovery. Are we clear?" When Quidd nodded numbly, Smyth nodded and said, "Good," and then swept out of the room.

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Francine sat silently gaping at Lee. For the first time in her life, she couldn't think of a thing to say, not even one of her normally biting sarcastic comments. She watched as Lee hung up the phone and much as he had in the infirmary when awaiting news on Amanda's condition, buried his face in his hands. The distress she could see in him was reminiscent of the same distress she'd seen on his face when she'd found him in her car a few days ago when he'd told her that Billy had taken him off Amanda's case. Not knowing just what to do for him, she rose from her seat saying, "I...Uh...I'm just gonna' take care of the mess in your dining room."

Lee raised his head and replied, "No, don't. I'll get it." He then pulled himself from the sofa and trudged into the dining room.

"I wanna' help," Francine insisted as she trailed after him, then in an attempt to lighten the somber mood, added, "After all, you don't want your future mother-in-law coming over here and thinking you're a slob, right?"

Lee whipped around to face her and growled, "Is that supposed to be funny? Do you have any idea how nerve-wracking this whole thing is? I'm about to tell her that her daughter's been lying to her for three straight years and I haven't got one clue how to go about it!" Lee then turned back to the table and began cleaning up, walking back and forth between the kitchen and the dining room while Francine just stood in the doorway between the two to stay out of his way.

"Then why do it?" She questioned. "I mean, Billy was pretty adamant about her family being kept out of this whole thing."

"I know, but I can't give her the help she needs, not by myself," He stated as he violently tossed the empty bakery bags and boxes into his now overstuffed kitchen trashcan. "Great!" He grumbled as he lodged a kick at the trashcan, shook his head, and then rummaged through the cabinet under his sink for a fresh bag, tossing it haphazardly on the counter. He removed the hinged cover from the can, threw it onto the linoleum and yanked up roughly on the full bag, and made quick work of tying it closed. He tossed the bag through the doorway, causing Francine to back up quickly and replaced it with the new one and slammed the cover back onto the trashcan.

"Lee, the trashcan is your friend," Francine quipped in the hopes of getting her friend out of the surly mood that he was in. Lee glared at her then disappeared back into the kitchen. "_I'm _your friend," she said in a more serious tone. She sighed when the only response was the sound of water running. She watched in helpless silence as Lee returned to the dining room to gather up the dishes, then heard the water stop and soon after Lee returned with a damp dishcloth and began furiously scrubbing the table with it. She finally felt the need to say something, "Okay, Lee, I think it's great that you're no longer letting your apartment grow things, but aren't you going a little overboard?"

Lee turned his attention to her, balling up the dishcloth in his fist and answered, "I have to do something to keep from going crazy."

"Okay, I understand that, but you're at the point right now where you're going to need to re-varnish that table if you keep going the way you are."

Lee tossed the cloth onto the table and let out a deep sigh. "Amanda once told me that doing housework grounds her, keeps her mind occupied, that with the craziness of our job, it makes her feel better to do something normal...routine. I thought...I don't know..." He sighed again as he picked the cloth back and walked into the living room, wiping up the coffee spill then began gathering up the contents of Amanda's purse and putting them back in it with the exception of the sleeve of photos. He dropped the cloth again as he began thumbing through the pictures, pausing and smiling slightly at one in particular.

"You look good together," Francine commented wistfully from behind him with a nod at the picture.

Lee's smile widened slightly as he ran his fingertips across Amanda's smiling face in the photo of the two of them in formalwear. "She looks amazing in this dress." He indicated the black dress with the pearl buttons.

"It _is_ a fabulous dress," Francine agreed. "I'll have to remember to ask her where she got it."

Lee chuckled and replied, "That's not such a hot idea, Francine," as he reflected back on the time that he'd once pissed Amanda off by asking that same question. It had now become a private joke between the pair, as Amanda would wear it just to remind him that he didn't need to even think about buying dresses for anymore "friends," when he had a girlfriend who could make her own.

"Well, whoever the designer is, they have some amazing talent."

Lee grinned at Francine. "She's the designer."

"No!" Francine took the photo from his hand and took a long, hard look at the dress in the photo.

"Yeah," Lee answered with a nod. "She made it herself."

Francine snorted and shook her head. "Is there anything she _can't_ do?"

Lee's smile faded at her words as it brought him back to the reality at hand, that at the moment, there was one thing Amanda _couldn't_ do. He grimaced as he worried again about how to help her sort out her memories from the hallucinations. He took the photo holder back from Francine and shoved it in his pocket, picked up the cloth from the coffee table, along with the coffee cups and carried them into the kitchen. Once he'd placed them in the sinkful of soapy water, he gripped the edge of the sink tightly as his despair took hold again. "God," He muttered.

"Lee, don't do this to yourself," Francine warned from the doorway.

He whipped around and said, "Do what?"

"Don't blame yourself for what happened to her. Remember what Billy said: put the blame where it belongs."

Lee pushed past Francine into the dining room, snatched up the full trash bag and headed toward his front door. Without even turning around, Lee knew that Francine had followed him from room to room again and said, "I...Um...I'm gonna' go throw this out. I...Uh...I need to clear my head. Will you...Uh..." He gestured with his head toward his bedroom.

Francine nodded. "I'll keep an eye on her."

"Thanks."

Francine stared at the closed from door for a moment after Lee was gone, worry etched on her face, not only for Amanda's mental state, but also for Lee's. She'd seen a side of him this week that she'd never seen before, a side that she'd always suspected was there underneath his brusque, devil-may-care outward demeanor, but one that he'd never let his guard down enough to show her. Until now, that is. Now, it seemed that he just didn't care who saw his more vulnerable, more compassionate, more sensitive side. The only time she'd come close to catching a glimpse of it was when he'd lost Andy, but this...this was different. She couldn't quite put her finger on what it was, but something about Amanda had made him a changed man.

Her thoughts of Amanda brought her back to the task at hand. She'd promised Lee that she'd look out for her while he was gone. She walked toward Lee's bedroom and gently pushed open the door to find Amanda muttering in her sleep, but couldn't quite make out what she was saying. She crept closer and heard, "Can't move..." Other than her lips moving slightly and the rise and fall of her chest, Amanda was lying there stiff as a board. Francine found this very unsettling because she knew that even under the influence of a sedative, there should be some of the natural shifting that occurred during sleep, especially in a dream state, which it appeared she was in.

"Amanda," she said softly as she didn't want to startle her, but she also didn't want her already disturbed mind becoming even more so if she were having another nightmare. _She's taken a sedative, Stupid, _she mentally scolded herself. She took a step closer, knelt beside the bed, gently nudged her and a bit louder, repeated, "Amanda."

Amanda's eyes fluttered open and to Francine's astonishment, she felt the sting of Amanda's hand across her face with a loud shout of, "Traitor!"


	18. Chapter 18

Billy exited his office with Lee's personnel file in hand, a man on a mission and couldn't help smiling as he watched Dr. Smyth exiting the conference room. He fixed him with a questioning gaze to which the other man just replied with an amused grin and a nod toward the conference room he'd just vacated and left the bullpen still puffing on his cigarette. Billy had just exited the bullpen behind him when Quidd caught up to him with a hiss of, "This is _your_ doing, isn't it?"

"Is what my doing?" Billy questioned innocently, not halting in his walk toward the elevator.

"You know damn well what I'm talking about," Quidd snapped as he reached for Billy's arm to stop his motion, "Getting Smyth to do your dirty work for you."

Billy turned, nodded toward the shrink's hand on his arm and stated bluntly, "Unless you want another bruise to match the one my assistant gave you, I suggest you let go."

"Are you threatening me?" Quidd said incredulously, gripping Billy's arm even tighter. "You could lose your job for this!"

"No, Dr. Quidd, I'm not threatening you," Billy answered, an eerie calm in his voice, belied by the fury in his eyes. He nodded toward the glass doors of the bullpen and the faces within staring at them. He knew that as soon as he'd closed the blinds in his office, the entire population of the bullpen would be curious. He then smiled forebodingly at him, "Every person in that room in there just saw _you_ grab _me_, not the other way around. So, the question you should ask yourself now is whose job would really be in danger; the man who's threatening a superior," He pointed to Quidd, "or the man who is simply defending himself from that threat?" He then pointed to himself. "I may work behind a desk most days, but unlike you, I _have_ combat experience. Do you really want to put that to the test?"

"Perhaps he'd prefer to start pounding the pavement instead," Smyth added with an arched eyebrow, having witnessed the entire episode.

"I'd be happy to write you a letter of recommendation," Billy put in with a smirk as he thought of the task he was working on for Lee. He'd already written one today, what was one more?

Quidd released Billy's arm and looked sheepishly at Dr. Smyth who said with a sneer, "I don't know that he deserves a recommendation, Billy. I should write him up for insubordination for the disrespect he just showed you and the comments he just made about me. I despise hearing my job referred to as dirty work. I prefer to think of it as just the opposite, doing necessary clean-up. Make no mistake about it, Doctor; you left me a big mess to clean up. The last time I cleaned up a disaster even close to the Titanic-sized mess you created was when I first took over this job from Sidney Rollins. Now, you're to go straight upstairs: Do not pass go, Do not collect two-hundred dollars." When Quidd merely glared at him, Smyth nodded to the two guards standing at the doors to the bullpen who immediately approached the trio, each taking a stance on either side of Quidd. "Do I need to have these fine gentlemen escort you out or is my order with the gossip queen at the front desk to make sure that you leave the building sufficient?"

"That won't be necessary. I know the way out," Quidd huffed as he marched toward the elevator.

After he was out of earshot, Billy and Dr. Smyth exchanged a look and Smyth said, "It might not be a bad idea to make sure that our nasty little crow stays out of Scarecrow's cornfield."

Billy smiled. "I already have a tail assigned to him."

"Excellent work, Billy," Dr. Smyth replied with a smile as he headed toward the internal elevator to take him back to his office while Billy went the opposite direction to take him upstairs and off to the State Department to plead Lee's case. For Lee and Amanda's sake, he hoped they listened, but selfishly for his own sake, he hoped they didn't.

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Lee plodded wearily down the hall of his apartment building, hefting the trash bag in one hand while he used the other to jab at the elevator button, his thoughts in turmoil while he waited for the car to arrive. "God," he muttered again as he reflected back on his conversation with Billy the night before Amanda had been taken. He could perfectly picture the look a Billy's face, a mixture of wonder and concern at his decision to have Amanda be the one to call in the strike. He recalled with perfect clarity how quick he'd been to justify his decision when in truth, he'd just been so proud of Amanda and how far she'd come since joining the agency that he wanted to give her something real to do, but still keep her safe.

He stepped into the elevator and let the guilt wash over him as he thought of how he'd failed on both counts; the strike had been a bust because Birol had gotten away and Amanda hadn't been safe after all because not only had Birol gotten away, but he'd used her to do it. In fact, by placing her where he had with the idea being to keep her out of harm's way knowing that she might be carrying his child, he'd put her and their unborn child right in harm's way. If only he'd told Billy the whole truth when he'd prodded him about his intention to marry her, told him that he'd already bought her a ring; that they might already be expecting, maybe Billy's calm voice of reason would have driven him to make a different decision. It was done now though and hindsight had made him take Billy's words to heart. He was going to make damn sure that he was never put into that position again.

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Francine backed up, staring horror-stricken at Amanda striking her. "Amanda,' she said soothingly holding out her hands in a gesture of surrender.

Amanda flung the covers back from the bed and stared menacingly at the woman in front of her, the royal blue blouse she was wearing triggering another scary memory. "You tried to hurt my baby," she rasped as she pulled herself from the bed reached for the lamp on the nightstand and swung it in her direction yanking the cord from the wall in the process. She knew who she was. "Traitor!" she shouted as she swung again running on pure adrenaline and fury. She let herself and her baby be victims once; she wouldn't make that mistake again. She let herself be weak, but now was the time to be strong. Lee always told her how brave she was, how strong she was, now she had to find that inner strength. She wasn't going to let Birol's girlfriend take her back to him and make good on his threat to kill her baby to get to Lee.

"Now, just hold on, Amanda," Francine said as she dodged Amanda's swings of the lamp and on her third swing, grabbed hold of it beginning a tug of war over it. "Take it easy." She tried to keep her voice calm to avoid agitating her further. "I didn't try to hurt your baby. I know that we haven't always gotten along, but I'd never try to hurt you or your baby, I swear." Francine couldn't figure out what was going on. Lee only gave Amanda her sedative two hours ago. There was no way she should be this alert or this strong so soon. She grappled with her over the lamp, but still couldn't wrest it from her tight grip. "Now, come on, Amanda, think. It's me. I helped Lee rescue you. How does that make me a traitor?"

"I trusted you! I took you into my home because Lee told me I could trust you! I made you coffee, fed you, looked after you and you repay me by siding with HIM and trying to kill my baby!" She looked around wildly and screamed, 'LEE!"

Realization hit Francine at Amanda's words, "No, Amanda, I'm not Magda. I'm Francine," she explained gently as she gave one hard tug and finally wrested the lamp from Amanda's fists. She set the lamp on the desk behind her to keep it out of Amanda's reach and as she did so couldn't help reflecting on Lee once telling her about Amanda taking out a thug with a lamp. She remembered how she scoffed at the time, figuring Amanda to be a fainter, making a crack about a "suburban swoon." Now, though she could definitely see it. Amanda King was tougher than she looked. She took a deep breath, turned back to Amanda, then reached for a lock of her hair, and said, "See? Blonde, not brown. Look at my eyes, blue."

Amanda looked at her, but all she could see was her entering the room with Addi Birol, a bomb in her hands. "No, no," Amanda shook her head. "No, you're just trying to trick me, just like HE tried to trick me, make me think my mind is just playing tricks on me." She pulled her arm back but found it stopped by the other woman gripping both of hers. "LEE!" she screamed again.

Francine held Amanda's hands tightly together to prevent another violent outburst and said, "Then listen to the sound of my voice. Magda has a Hungarian accent. I don't. I know you've been seeing things that aren't there and that's confusing to you. I know you probably see me as Magda because she was there and we look a lot alike, but I promise you I'm not her. Now, close your eyes and just listen to the sound of my voice. Can you do that for me?"

"No, you'll try to hurt my baby if I close my eyes." She struggled against her trying to free her hands, her terror increasing at not being able to use her hands. She kept tugging and pulling, but found them held tight. "LEE!' she cried again this time her voice rising to a shriek.

"No, no I won't, I promise. You trust Lee, right?" When Amanda nodded, she continued, "Well, he left me here to take care of you, trusted me to do just that, so if he trusted me, that should mean that you can trust me too." She took a deep breath, as it seemed the feral look in Amanda's eyes was beginning to fade. "Good, now close your eyes and listen. Just listen to the sound of my voice." When Amanda finally relented, she continued talking to ensure that Amanda could distinguish her voice from Magda's and that that in turn would help her to distinguish her face from Magda's when she opened her eyes again, "I know a lot about you, Amanda King, things that Magda wouldn't know about you. I know that when I first met you, you were a den mother to your boys' Junior Sandblasters troop."

"Trailblazers," Amanda corrected without opening her eyes.

_That's a good sign, _Francine thought as she tried to keep herself calm in order to keep Amanda calm. "Right. I know that your mother drives you nuts with trying to get you married again and that she doesn't know yet that you're engaged to Lee. You told me that just this morning and that she'd be thrilled to hear that you're getting married again. I know that you used to coach your boys' Little League team, The Bombers, from all the times you used to run around the office, looking like you were just waiting for a scout from the Yankee's to come around. I know you like French perfume. I...I...uh..." she searched her mind to think of something else. "Oh, I know. I know that you have this fabulous black evening gown with spaghetti straps and pearl buttons that you made yourself and that Lee loves the way that you look in it."

Amanda's eyes snapped open at the mention of her dress, the one that Lee always told her she looked so beautiful in. "Francine?" she questioned skeptically. Images of Magda in the blue suit jacket with the zap gas bomb in hand blended with the image of Francine in her blue blouse holding her hands, brown hair, blonde hair, brown eyes, blue eyes, the images swirling and fading into one another, making her a bit dizzy. She blinked a couple of times until her eyes and her mind began to work in sync again and finally she saw Francine as she was. "I...um...I...wear that dress every New Year's Eve when Lee and I go to the Soviet Embassy party together. We've gone for the last three years."

"Good, Amanda, that's good. You're remembering things that are real now," Francine said soothingly. "That's really, really good." She breathed a sigh of relief that Amanda's fear and paranoia seemed to have abated for the time being.

Francine released her hands and as she did so, Amanda slumped, saying "I don't feel so good."

Francine hurried to try to catch her, propping her up against her shoulder, just as Lee burst into the room gun drawn and out of breath and shouted, "What the hell is going on in here?"


	19. Chapter 19

"What the hell is going on in here?" Lee demanded again.

Francine nodded to the pistol in his hand, "It's okay, Dirty Harry, you could put the gun away. You don't need it. Help me with her." Francine nodded again to Amanda's stiff form.

Lee breathed a sigh of relief as he tucked his gun away and helped Francine lower an immobile Amanda to the bed. "I...I thought..."

"You thought what?" Francine inquired. "What the hell did you think you needed the gun for?"

"I-I...I don't know what I thought, okay?" He raked his hand through his hair and let out a long breath. "I just know that I heard her screaming all the way from outside, heard you scream..."

"You didn't hear _me _scream," Francine denied.

"Yes, Francine I did. It was clearly your voice. You have a distinctly different voice from Amanda's."

"I..." Francine paused and thought for a moment. Had she screamed when Amanda had slapped her, or when she'd swung the lamp at her repeatedly? It had all happened so fast and she'd been trying as hard as she could just to resist the urge to pop Amanda a good one and put her lights out, but she knew that would only make Lee mad, so instead, she'd fought her off until she could get her to calm down. "I don't know, Lee. Maybe I did scream and it didn't register. It just all happened so fast."

"What _all _happened so fast? What exactly happened?" He knelt beside his prone fiancee' and was startled by what he saw. She was lying stock-still, her breathing shallow, but her eyes wide open, not even blinking. "What's wrong with her?" He turned on Francine. "Did you do something to her? I trusted you to take care of her! I wasn't gone ten minutes and you-"

"Now, just hold on one dame minute! I didn't do anything to her. She's the one who attacked me! I was just doing all I could to defend myself without hurting her!" She couldn't believe this. Lee as accusing her of hurting his precious Amanda after she'd busted her ass to help rescue her?

"That's impossible, Francine, I gave her a sedative two hours ago that should have knocked her out for at least four!"

"Well, it didn't! I don't know why it didn't, but it didn't! I mean, look at her. She may not be moving, but she's wide awake." The longer that Francine stared at her, the more she became creeped out by Amanda's stillness and by her unblinking eyes.

Lee turned back to Amanda, sat gingerly on the edge of the bed, and lightly caressed her cheek, unnerved by seeing not only no physical response, but zero response in her eyes. She was stock-still, her unmoving, unblinking eyes aimed at the ceiling. "Amanda?" He said softly. "Amanda, look at me," he repeated, panic creeping into his voice at her unresponsiveness. "I think she's in some kind of shock. We need to get her to a hospital."

"No, I don't think so," Francine said with a shake of her head. "I'm not a doctor, but I don't think this is shock."

"Amanda," he pleaded. "Amanda, please."

"Give it up, Lee," Francine said quietly. "You're not going to get a response out of her." She glanced at her watch. "Not for probably at least ten minutes."

"What?" Lee turned to Francine questioningly. "What do you know that I don't?"

Francine sighed. "What happened while you were gone, she...she was having a nightmare, mumbling about not being able to move. When I tried to snap her out of it, she jumped me, tried to take me out with your lamp." She nodded toward the lamp that was still behind her on the desk. "She thought I was Magda and I think she thought that Magda tried to hurt her,"  
she explained. "I don't think she's quite coherent enough to realize that Magda was on our side, helping us."

"The zap gas, Magda was the one who set off the zap gas grenade" Lee nodded.

"That makes more sense now," Francine supposed. "It would have stunned her and Magda being the one who set it off, when she saw me, she...she thought it was me because Magda looks so much like me. She was still reliving her nightmare."

"Something in the paperwork Doc Kelford gave me said something about the mental stresses potentially having a physical impact." He looked at Amanda who was still lying there eerily still. "You think that maybe she's remembering the zap gas and acting like she's still under its effects?"

"Yeah."

"Can you...?" He gestured toward the bedroom door. When Francine nodded and exited the room, closing the door behind her, he turned back to Amanda and in a soothing tone, tried again to rouse her. "Amanda? Amanda, Honey, can you hear me? It's Lee." He clasped her hand in his, disturbed by her not clasping his in return the way that she normally would. "Listen, it is all over, there's no zap gas, no Magda, no Birol, no white room, no terrorists. He leaned in and lightly brushed his lips against hers. "It's just us, Amanda." He brushed her disheveled hair from her face. "I don't know what to do to make you see that this is real, that you're safe now, that our baby's safe now and that I'm never, ever going to let anybody hurt you again, but I'm not giving up until you do." He brought her hand to his lips and bowed his head against it, closed his eyes and whispered "I love you so much. This is killing me."

Amanda looked at Lee, his bowed head, hearing his words, remembering one of her hallucinations of Lee rescuing her, of him saying the same words, assuring her that he was coming to get her just before he turned into Birol who then had backhanded her. She closed her eyes finally, silent tears sliding down her cheeks. _That wasn't real, this is,_ she told herself as she relished the warm pressure of Lee's hand in hers. _That wasn't real, this is, _she repeated again and again in her mind. She had to do something to ease Lee's pain, if only she could make herself move. _That wasn't real, this is. _The phrase became her mantra as she gathered her strength.

Lee's head snapped up at feeling Amanda's hand relaxing in his, the gentle pressure of her squeezing his back. "Amanda?"He said hopefully.

"Lee," she replied, but it came out no more that a raspy, hoarse whisper.

"You with me?" He squeezed her hand again, elated when she squeezed it back, smiled and nodded.

"Throat...hurts." She swallowed hard trying to moisten her dry, raw throat.

Lee nodded. "You were screaming. Don't try to talk. Let me get you something to drink."

"No," she replied with a firm shake of her head as she tried to pull herself to a sitting position.

"You don't want a drink?" He looked at her in confusion. "You should try to drink something to soothe your throat...unless...unless...Is your stomach still upset?"

"No," she repeated a bit louder as she tried to force her voice to cooperate with her, finally sitting up fully. "My...my stomach's fine. I...I do want a drink, but I want to get up and get it myself."

"Amanda, no, you should be resting," Lee argued as he pulled his hand from hers and used both hands on her shoulders to gently to push her back to lie down.

"NO," she snapped as she fought against his efforts, pushing her hands against his chest. At seeing the pained look on his face. "I'm sorry," she said sheepishly. "I...I'm tired of resting. I've rested enough."

"Amanda, you were kept awake for three days," Lee countered.

"And I've slept for almost a whole day to make up for it. What I need right now is to get up and get active to get my bearings back. I need to be doing _something_."

Lee chuckled softly as he recalled his own manic activity of the morning that had driven Francine nuts. "Okay," he responded with a smile as he rose from the bed and reached for her hand to help her up. "We'll get you some juice or something for your throat and maybe an ice pack for that wicked right hook of yours." He nodded toward her slightly swollen knuckles.

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that too," Amanda apologized as she glanced down at her hand, and then raised her hand to caress his swollen face. "Really sorry."

"Don't sweat it," Lee answered with a shrug. He lightly touched the bruise on her face and quipped, "Now. we match."

Amanda couldn't help the soft chuckle that escaped her at his attempt at humor "Perfect couple," she mused as she linked her fingers with his and they strolled leisurely into the living room together. "You know I should apologize to Francine too. Is she still here?"

"Yeah, she said she'd stick around in case we needed her. Here," Lee gestured to the couch. "If you won't lie down and relax, will you at least sit down and relax?" When Amanda gave him a look. "Humor me, okay? It'll make me worry less."

"Really?" She said skeptically, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Okay, maybe it won't make me worry less, but it'll make me feel better to know that you're at least taking it a little easy."

"Lee..." she began in a warning tone.

"Okay, how would you feel if it were me? If our positions were reversed?"

"Our positions couldn't be reversed. You can't get pregnant," Amanda fired back with a smirk.

"All the more reason for you to take it easy, now just don't argue with me for once, huh?" He guided her toward the couch.

"Okay, okay," Amanda said holding her hands up in mock surrender as she sat. "But you're going to have to stop babying me some time."

"I'll remember that you said that the next time Billy decides to up your rank to make me take care of myself," Lee countered, a mirthful grin on his face at seeing her sense of humor returning. "What do you want to drink?" Juice? Tea?"

"Milk." Off his surprised look, she explained, "It'll help soothe my sore throat, plus it's good for the baby."

"I know, but the instructions from the doctor said to lay off dairy until we knew how your stomach would react."

"My stomach's fine," Amanda stated firmly. "Not even queasy."

"Amanda, you were just tossing your cookies all over the place a couple of hours ago." He looked at her in concern, not wanting to see her sick again.

"I know," she sighed. "But that was a...Um...a-a fear response. Dr. Kelford said that might happen until I stop having nightmares and weird visions; that it might bring on the nausea associated with my pregnancy when I normally wouldn't be sick."

Lee nodded as he recalled the doctor saying something similar to him, about her psychological trauma making the pregnancy symptoms worse. "Are you sure you wanna' risk it?"

"I'm sure. I need to start drinking more milk for the baby's sake. Besides, if it does make me sick, the bathroom's not that far away."

"Okay," Lee replied with a shake of his head, still skeptical, but also wanting to keep her calm and happy to avoid another episode. He walked into his kitchen to find his dishes had been done and put away and that Francine was at the cutting board, chopping furiously."What are you doing?"he asked as he retried the milk from the fridge and poured Amanda a glass.

"Playing backgammon," She replied with her typical sarcasm and a roll of her eyes. "What does it look like I'm doing? I'm chopping celery."

"I see that, but why?" Setting the glass down, he rummaged through his cupboards until he found his ice pack, then began filling it with ice.

"Well, you invited Amanda's mom for lunch and since you have your hands full with Amanda, I thought I'd help out."

"I don't know how much help that will be once Mrs. West samples your cooking," He quipped.

"Ha-ha. I will have you know that I _do_ know how to do some things in the kitchen. Chicken salad happens to be one of them and you had all this leftover chicken in the fridge so..."

"I appreciate the effort, Francine, really, but I don't know that chicken salad's the best idea...for Amanda, I mean, not when she's still reliving memories from the past."

"Well, if she jumps off the deep end again, we'll both be there to throw her a life preserver," Francine replied with a stern look. "Besides, don't the shrinks always say that it's better to face your fears anyway? Who knows? Maybe it'll be good for her."

Lee shrugged. "Who knows? At this point, I'm not sure anymore what'll set her off and what won't. I just know that I have to keep trying to keep her focused on reality." He put the milk carton away and picked up the glass and the ice pack. "I...uh...I should get back to her."

"I'll be here if you need me," Francine answered as she turned back to her task while Lee re-entered the living room.

"Here you go," He said as he handed Amanda her glass and sat beside her. "You should probably take it kinda' slow, just to be safe." He set the ice pack down on the coffee table with a nod toward it. "In case you need it.

Amanda nodded as she sipped at it and then fixed Lee with a stern look. "Lee, we need to have a talk."

"About what?"

"About the sedative you gave me when I specifically said that I didn't want to take it."

"Amanda, you needed the sleep," Lee argued.

"No, what I needed was you...just you. I think the sedative just made my mind go a little more crazy, make it a little more mixed-up."

"Amanda..."

"Don't, Lee, please. I'm not mad, but I want you to understand that while I appreciate the thought and love that you want to take care of me, if I ask you not to do something, please respect that, no matter what you think is best for me."

"Amanda, what was I supposed to do, huh? You were acting like a lunatic, talking about how Quidd was trying to hurt you, trying to hurt the baby, you hurled accusations at me as if I were Birol. I-I-I didn't know what else to do to keep you calm."

Amanda looked at him for a moment lost in thought as she sipped at her milk. After a moment, she set the glass aside and slid her arms around his neck and answered, "You wanna' keep me calm?" She lightly brushed her lips against his. "This keeps me calm. Having you here with me keeps me calm. Sleeping in that bed alone doesn't, not without you beside me." She removed her left hand from his neck, gazing for a moment at the diamond ring there and added, "I think we should work as fast as we can to make sure that you're sleeping beside me every night."

"Yeah?" he said as he slipped his hands around her waist.

"Yeah." Amanda nodded and tugged on the back of his head to meet him for another kiss. Their lips had just met when there was a knock on the door.

"Hold that thought," Lee said as he rose from the couch. He couldn't help noticing how Amanda tensed at the sound of the knock. "It's okay, Amanda. I invited your mom for lunch. That's probably her. I thought that maybe she could help you too. I thought it's time she knew the truth."


	20. Chapter 20

"My mother," Amanda replied as she rose from her seat on the couch to face him. "You invited my mother? Here?" She shook her head. "And exactly what truth is it that you were planning on telling her?"

"I mean, the truth, Amanda," Lee replied. "The _whole _truth, You, me, our engagement, the baby, the agency, everything!"

"Lee, you can't do that! _We_ can't do that. It'll ruin everything we've worked for in the past three years. I have lied to her, and lied to her, and lied to her some more all in the name of keeping her safe, keeping my children safe and for what? For you to just throw it all away because you're scared?"

"Damn right, I'm scared! Do you have any idea how terrified I was when Birol nabbed you? I know exactly what a guy like him is capable of, the things he's willing to do to get what he wants! What if he'd sold you to the Libyans like he threatened to do? You ever think about that, huh? You might have been sold over, and over, and over again to the highest bidder, to be some slave or worse: maybe some bored Arab prince's plaything, just another nameless, faceless harem girl!" He ran his hands through his hair and began pacing furiously, then spun to face her.

They were so embroiled in their argument, that neither registered a second knock at the door or Francine entering from the kitchen saying, "Isn't anyone gonna' get that?" just as Lee was continuing his rant.

"You talk about keeping your children safe, but what about our child, huh? Don't you think it would be better for our child if everything were out in the open, if _we_ were out in the open? More than anything, I want our family to be safe, protected. That's why I want to do this. I'm trying to do the right thing here! I am not Joe King and I'm not going to abandon my responsibility to my child the way that he did!"

"Leave Joe out of this!" Amanda shouted back. "He has nothing to do with this!"

"Okay, I guess I'll get it," Francine said softly, not sure that it was the right thing to do, but at the same time she didn't feel that they should leave Amanda's mother standing out in the hall either. She tiptoed past the squabbling couple and into the foyer, taking a deep breath before opening the door.

Dotty, at seeing the blonde on the other side of the door, looked Francine up and down and said coolly, "Am I the right place?" She glanced at the slip of paper in her hands that she'd jotted Lee's address on and then fixed Francine with a steely gaze. "Perhaps I've got the wrong apartment. I was looking for my daughter's _boyfriend_, Lee Stetson."

"No, you're in the right place," Francine answered in a pleasant voice. "Hello, Mrs. West, Francine Desmond. I work with Amanda. We've met once before." Of course she wasn't about to tell her that the one time they met, Amanda had introduced her as the owner of a chimpanzee.

While the conversation was going on at the door, the blazing argument was still ongoing in the living room.

"Oh, I think he does!" Lee fired back at Amanda. "I think you got burned with him and now you're screed to death to try to live a normal life with me!"

"Oh, that's just ridiculous!" Amanda countered. "The real issue here is that you've got this macho male ego thing going on where you think you have to protect me and treat me like I'm some fragile porcelain doll!"

Dotty was still trying to place Francine and recall if she'd heard her name before when she heard her daughter's voice. "Is that Amanda? She sounds upset."

"Yeah," Francine replied sheepishly. "And knowing those two, they may be at it for a while." She sighed and said, "Listen, why don't you come on it and I'll get you some coffee until they call a truce on world war three in there. I've learned that it's best not to get between them until they hash it all out or someone might get hurt."

Dotty nodded as Francine let her in and indicated for her to follow her to the kitchen. As they passed by the feud, she couldn't help noticing the look of pure fury etched on her daughter's face. She didn't know Lee very well, but she knew by that look that he was in trouble. She chuckled softly as she followed Francine into the kitchen.

"Oh, that is such a crock!" Lee shouted. "This is not about some male ego thing. This is about me keeping you safe!"

"No," Amanda retorted. "No, it's not. This is all about you thinking that you _didn't_ keep me safe. Don't think I haven't noticed all those self-flagellating guilty looks on your face since last night! The same kind that you had on your face that day that you told me about Dorothy."

"Don't you dare bring her into this," Lee fired back hotly.

"Why not? You brought Joe into this. Besides, it's the truth! You're blaming yourself for me getting captured, just like you blamed yourself for years for her being killed! Well, I've got news for you, Lee! She knew the risks to the job we do going into this, the same way that I knew the risks when I started working for the agency. I mean, you said it yourself last night, that first case we worked together, I went in there to save you knowing exactly what I was getting into. I knew what I was getting into when Billy offered me the job three years ago and I knew what I was getting into when Dr. Smyth offered me the full-time job and admittance into the agent candidate program!"

"But if I'd never given you that package-"

"Would you stop with the damned package, already! Every time we get into a jam, you bring up that package, like when we spent the night in the swamp being hunted down by Sacker and his men! You blamed yourself then just like you're blaming yourself now and do you remember what I said you then? I'm an adult! You may have handed me that package, but no one made me take it! I could've refused and walked away, I could've taken it and just dumped it in the trash the minute you ran off. I could've let it go when you told me to stay out of it after the fact when you tried to say goodbye to me!" She heaved a deep sigh and in a calmer tone, explained, "I didn't because I...I couldn't. Not once I realized that your life was in danger and that nobody at the agency had a clue where you were. I knew that you didn't have any backup coming for you because of that and I couldn't get them to listen to me or to put me through to someone who could help you. You said last night how brave I was for walking in there the way that I did, but to tell you the truth, I was scared to death. But I knew...I knew what was right. I knew that you could be killed if I didn't do _something._ So, I did everything that I could to put my own fear aside so I could do what I needed to do to save you."

"And you could've been killed in the process," Lee pointed out, also in a calmer tone matching hers.

"Well, I wasn't and neither were you and do you know why?" She stepped closer to him, placing a hand on his arm. "Because we worked _together_ to get out of it. We were a team then, just like we _should_ be a team now. I think that we've more than proven that together we can handle anything that comes our way."

Lee sighed, nodded and conceded, "You're right, we have." He paused for a moment, took her hands in his and led her back to the sofa. As they sat down together, he said, "But it ends now. Listen, I'm seriously thinking of taking that job at the state department, getting out of the field. I can't keep doing this, can't keep risking your life."

"No," Amanda shook her head. "You can't do that. I won't let you. You'd hate it, being chained to a desk, going blind on paperwork...It's not who you are."

"It doesn't matter, Amanda. I'll learn not to hate it. I'll _make_ it who I am to keep you safe, keep our family safe."

In the kitchen, after accepting the coffee cup from Francine, Dotty glanced at Francine and having noticed that the shouting from the living room had ceased. "So...uh...Miss...Desmond, is it?"

"Yes," Francine nodded.

"You...um...you said something about not getting between them when they're like this, so you've...um...known both of them for a while, I assume." Dotty knew the answer, but she wanted confirmation of it.

Francine nodded. "I've known Lee longer, but yes." She turned back to her lunch preparations to avoid Dotty's intense questioning gaze.

"Here, let me help you with that," Dotty suggested as she began rooting through Lee's cabinets and the content of his refrigerator, chuckling softly as she did so. "You know, that man may be cute and charming, but he has no idea how to organize a kitchen."

"To be honest, neither do I," Francine admitted with a soft laugh. "I'm not much of a cook, but this...the chicken salad...this is something that even I can't screw up."

"Here, try this," Dotty said as she handed her a bottle she'd just pulled out of a cupboard.

Francine glanced at the bottle warily. "Lemon pepper?"

"Just a touch. Trust me," Dotty answered with a smile working up to asking her the questions that were on her mind. "Lemon pepper is great with chicken, but not too much of it or it'll overpower the other ingredients." The two women worked in silence together for a moment before Dotty said, "So, tell me about Lee, about his relationship with Amanda. I mean, if you work with them, you must know more than I do."

Francine sighed and replied, "Not really. I didn't even know that they were seeing each other outside of work until yesterday."

"Then how about telling me what the fight's all about in there?"

"Listen, Mrs. West," Francine stated firmly as she halted her task. "I can't, okay? That's something you're just going to have to talk to Amanda about."

Back in the living room, Amanda was holding both of Lee's hands in hers, looking intently into his eyes as she said, "Lee, I love you with all my heart, but just because I agreed to marry you, that doesn't mean that you can start making life-altering plans without consulting me first, not when it alters both of our lives. I understand why you're thinking about that job at the state department, but did you think at all about how it would affect me? Were you just going to leave me there at the agency by myself, let them assign me a different partner?"

"No, of course not," Lee said. "I...I...I asked Billy to talk to them on my behalf. I figured that since it's an admin job, I'd have the opportunity to hand-pick some of my team and I'd want you on my team, Amanda."

"I _am_ on your team...always," She replied softly as she removed her right hand from his left and lightly caressed his bruised jaw.

"But?" Lee probed, sensing that there was one.

"But I've come too far where I'm at to give it all up now and start over again somewhere else. I'm really enjoying my training classes, all the new stuff that I'm learning, the stuff that I'm able to do on my own without you having to be there to guide me or tell me what to do. I don't want to leave the agency," she paused for a moment as she watched her words register on his face, then added, "And deep down, I don't think that you do either. You love your job too much."

"But I love you more," Lee countered as he brought her left hand to his lips, brushing a soft kiss to it and idly toyed with the diamond ring on her finger. "This...this ring...I didn't buy it lightly or without the intent of following through on the promise that it represents. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, loving you, caring for you..."

Amanda quieted him with a finger to his lips. "And that's all sweet and very romantic, but part of marriage is that we're supposed to care for each other and that means that I can't let you do something that you hate just because you think that it's your duty to do so. Do you remember when I first met your uncle and how you told me how much you hated him treating you like you were nothing more than a duty to him?" When Lee nodded, she continued, "Then don't do the same to me. I know that you feel that you have a responsibility to protect me, but you seem to forget that I have a responsibility to protect you too. That's what partners do and I don't mean just work partners, I mean life partners as well. Part of my responsibility to protect you is not letting you make a decision that you'll regret down the line."

"What makes you so sure that I _will_ regret it? I mean, come on, Amanda, I joined the agency when I was twenty-three years old. It's been thirteen years and I'm...I'm just tired."

"I know, but I think this is just temporary because of what happened. I think after all of this is over and you've had some real rest and you have the peace of mind to know that I'm okay, you'll change your mind. You know, they always say not to make big decisions when you're under stress, don't move, don't change jobs, don't start a new relationship or end an existing one, stuff like that, because you'll always end up regretting it once the stress is relieved because you're creating a permanent end to a temporary problem."

Lee shook his head and smiled at her, amazed that after all she'd been through, she was still his voice of reason, "Okay, okay, I'll sleep on it at least before I make a decision. Will that make you happy?"

"Yes," Amanda answered. "Now, back to the subject...Mother...I...Um...I still don't know that it's such a hot idea to let her in on all our secrets, our engagement, absolutely, since she already knows about the baby and you know she won't let that go until she knows that you're going to make an honest woman of me." She paused and took a breath, "But the agency stuff...It might be just too much for her to handle."

"How would you know, Amanda?" Dotty retorted from the doorway of the dining room, a stack of plates in her hand. She then turned to the dining table to set the plates out for lunch before turning back to face her daughter. "You've kept all your little secrets about the nature of your work from me for years to the point that you never gave me or yourself a chance to find out." When Lee and Amanda both turned her direction, looking startled and then exchanged a curious look with one another before turning their attention back to her, she said, "Yes, that's right, my darling girl, I've known almost the whole time about this spy business." She then returned to the kitchen leaving Lee and Amanda exchanging bewildered looks.


	21. Chapter 21

Lee and Amanda exchanged first bewildered, then worried looks after Dotty had left the room. Lee looked at Amanda quizzically as they said together, "Did you say something to her?"

"Amanda, how would I have said something to her? I just met her," Lee stated.

"I know, but you said you told her and the boys about us being a couple and then you invited her here for lunch so I didn't know what else you might have already told her. Why would you think I said something when I just said that I've been lying to her for years?"

"Well, then how did she find out?" Lee asked worriedly.

"I don't know," she nodded toward the kitchen, "But we better get in there and find out."

"Yeah," Lee said with a grimace as he pulled himself from the couch and reached for Amanda's hand to help her to her feet. They walked hesitantly toward the kitchen wondering just what kind of mood they'd find Dotty in when they got there. As they reached the doorway between the dining room and the kitchen, they looked at each other in surprise to hear laughter.

"Thanks for the tip, Mrs. West. I think the lemon pepper made all the difference," Francine was saying.

"Well, I'm surprised Moline never told you about it," Dotty replied. "You know, fresh lemon juice works better with just a dash of fresh ground pepper, but lemon pepper will work in a pinch as long as you don't use too much of it."

"Mother," Amanda began warily. "What's...Um...What's going on in here."

"Oh, I was just giving Miss Desmond here some tips in the kitchen," Dotty answered cheerily.

"She needs all the help she can get there," Lee quipped earning him a scowl from Amanda.

"Hey!' Francine said in an affronted tone as she walked by him with a fist full of silverware, slugging him in the arm on her way past him.

"Francine, do you mind?" Lee huffed. "I've already been belted once today."

"So, you have," Dotty commented as she studied the bruise on his face intently. "That wasn't there when you came by the house yesterday, was it?"

"No. No, it wasn't," He glanced at Amanda who looked back at him apologetically.

Lee's gaze to Amanda drew Dotty's there as well, "Amanda!' She exclaimed. "You're bruised too." She grasped her daughter's chin, turning her head to take a good look at the bruise on her face in a motherly fashion.

Amanda stiffened when her mother's touch sent a shiver up her spine as it caused her to recall Birol gripping her face in much the same fashion, only much more violently. She pulled her head from her mother's hand and said sharply, "Don't!"

At seeing the panicked look in Amanda's eyes, Lee gripped her hand tightly and whispered, "Amanda, you're safe." Feeling her grip his hand back just as tightly and seeing her nod in acknowledgement allowed him to relax a little.

Amanda let out a deep breath and nodded again as she looked at Lee with a slight smile, saying, "I'm okay."

"You sure," He asked in concern as he took both of her hands in his, lightly caressing them.

Amanda swallowed hard and nodded, then pasted on a bright smile, "I'm fine."

"Amanda..." Lee said skeptically as seeing her smile not quite reaching her eyes.

"Really, I'm fine, but I'm starving! What have you two been cooking up in the kitchen?" She asked as Francine breezed by and back into the kitchen.

Francine returned with a platter of sandwiches. "Homemade chicken salad," she answered with a bright smile of her own as she carried it into the dining room.

Dotty stood watching silently, the interaction between Lee and Amanda not lost on her and she asked bluntly, "So, does someone wanna' let me in on what's really been going on?" When Lee opened his mouth to speak, she held up a hand to stop him, "And I mean the truth, not one of those cockamamie stories about your film crews and documentaries on the mating habits of gazelles or something else like that."

"Hey, listen, why don't we all just sit down and talk about this, huh?" Lee suggested with a gesture to the dining table.

"You two go ahead. I'll be there in a minute," Dotty replied as she returned to the kitchen while Amanda made her way back into the living room to retrieve her glass of milk. Lee was just finishing helping Amanda to her seat when Dotty returned with the coffee service.

Amanda perused the table. "We need mayonnaise," She said.

"There's mayo in the chicken salad," Francine said in a bit of a huff that Amanda hadn't even tried it and was already complaining.

"Not for me, Francine," Amanda explained. "You and I both know that Lee likes extra mayo on his chicken salad."

"Listen, I'll get it," Lee said. "You're all already sitting."

Dotty watched as Amanda took a cup from the coffee service, poured coffee and added a dollop of cream to it. As she stirred it, Dotty nodded toward the cup and inquired, "Amanda, since when do you take cream in your coffee?"

"I don't," Amanda answered. "Just sugar. You know that, Mother." She finished her task just as Lee returned with the jar of mayo and handed him the cup as he sat down.

"Thank you," Lee smiled at her.

"Well, everybody dig in," Francine said cheerily, trying to combat the awkwardness in the room.

As they began to help themselves, Dotty having caught sight of the diamond ring that Amanda was wearing while Lee had been trying to console her, blurted out, "So, when's the wedding?" She nodded toward Amanda's left hand.

Lee cleared his throat loudly, looked to Amanda for help, he stammered, "Well, Mrs. West...we...Um..."

"Enough with the Mrs. West," Dotty scolded Lee. "It's Dotty. I mean, if you're going to be my son-in-law, we really should be on a first name basis." She then fixed her daughter with a pointed look, "So, exactly _when_ is he going to be my son-in-law?"

"Um...we...Actually, Mother, we haven't really set a date yet, but soon, we hope." She reached for Lee's hand to reassure him, sensing his nervousness.

"Good," Dotty said with a firm nod, and then with a knowing smile added, "After all, you'll want it to be before my new grandchild arrives."

"Definitely," Lee agreed with a warm smile at his fiancee'.

"Oh, so you're no longer denying it," Dotty replied pointedly to Lee. "I distinctly recall asking you about it yesterday and you couldn't get out of the house fast enough."

"Mother, it's complicated," Amanda rushed to Lee's defense.

"Because of the spy life?" Dotty questioned.

"How do you know about that anyway?"

"Are you kidding? It's been obvious ever since the terrible business with Mrs. Welch being arrested."

Lee and Amanda exchanged questioning looks and Amanda queried, "Okay. But how? How did you put the pieces together?"

"Mrs. Welch's arrest was all over the news," Dotty explained. "How she was using her recipes to signal the Russians, her arrest, they even showed the feds dragged her off her property in handcuffs. Then when they were panning the cameras over the grounds of her home, I spotted a suspiciously familiar looking car all smashed to bits. That night, you came home in a cab, with that crazy story about how you got in a wreck, and then the next week you had a new car without ever reporting your "wreck" to the insurance company. Remember, that's when you got the Oldsmobile, instead of the Ford that you had been driving. Then I remember your trip to the TV station, how you were asking me about Mrs. Welch's recipes, and I knew from the news report that Mrs. Welch had been arrested by federal agents, not police. It all fit."

"Wow," Amanda said softly once her mother had finished her ramble.

Francine laughed and quipped, "I see where Amanda gets her gift of gab from."

Lee laughed, earning him a scowl from Amanda, who turned her attention to Francine for a moment and at seeing the slight swelling on the other woman's face by her own hand, a wave of guilt hit her, "Francine, I want to-"

"Amanda, Don't," Francine stopped Amanda's attempt at an apology with a wave of her hand. "It's no big deal. It's hardly the worst thing that's ever happened to me in this job. If you recall, I once took a bullet in the leg for you, so a little slap in the face is nothing worth crying over."

"Thank you, Francine," Amanda replied. "For everything." She sighed and thought for a moment. Turning back to her mother, she asked, "So, I have to ask you something that doesn't make sense. If you figured this out three years ago, why did you act like I was being ridiculous when I actually _told _you that I was a spy?"

"When did you tell her?" Lee questioned.

"When we were working with Yuri to stop that bomb," Amanda explained. "I was trying to get her and the boys out of town and-"

"Amanda, don't you grasp the concept of sarcasm?" Dotty asked her in exasperation, cutting off her explanation to Lee. When Amanda just stared blankly at her, she added, "Why else do you think I'd have gone so easily if I didn't believe you?"

"There's something that I don't understand," Lee told Dotty. "I get you figuring out that something was going on by all the stuff with Mrs. Welch, but aside from Amanda's car being trashed, how did you come up with the spy part? Not all federal agents are spies."

"For one thing, how secretive Amanda became after that," Dotty answered. She nodded toward Francine, "Meeting Miss Desmond here." She then looked back at Amanda. "Did you honestly think that as coiffed and well-manicured as she is, that I would believe she was the owner of a chimpanzee? How stupid do you think I am, Amanda?" Dotty gestured wildly at Francine who gave her back a sheepish look for having gone along with Amanda's ridiculous lie.

"A chimpanzee? Lee questioned, amusement dancing in his eyes as he looked first at Amanda, then at Francine.

"What?' Francine snapped. "I like animals. It could happen."

"I would love to see that," Lee replied with a laugh. He looked at Amanda and asked, "A chimp, really? What made you think of that?"

"I don't know," Amanda responded. "I...Uh...I was on the spot, okay? I had just been rescued from those guys who thought I was you and the last thing that I expected was for someone from the agency to show up at my front door. Then when she was telling me that you were in trouble for rescuing me, I-" She broke off abruptly as another thought occurred to her.

"What?" When Amanda was silent, Lee clasped her hand again, looking at her in concern, hoping that she wasn't on her way toward another paranoid episode. "Amanda, Honey, what is it?"

Amanda pulled her hand from his and patted his arm affectionately, "I'm fine, Lee." When he looked dubious, she insisted, "Really. I'm just worried about you. You're not in trouble for rescuing me this time, are you? With the agency, I mean?"

"A-ha!" Dotty exclaimed. "So, you do work for the agency. I thought so."

Amanda looked at her curiously and said, "I thought you had it all figured out."

"Oh, I did," Dotty confirmed. "It's just nice to hear you confirm it and be honest for a change. There were just too many things that didn't make sense, you know? What really clinched it for me in knowing where you actually worked even though I suspected before then was that incident with Dr. Zernov," Dotty continued as she recalled how brave her daughter had been when she herself had been terrified. She was immensely proud of how she'd thought of a plan to get them out of trouble and had executed that plan without an ounce of fear showing. "The way you handled yourself when we were being held hostage and of course, meeting your Mr. Melrose after all of that happened. Did you think that I'd forget that a Mr. Melrose had called the house for you to call you into work? That couldn't have been coincidence."

"Huh," was Lee's reply as he and Amanda exchanged another look. "To answer your question, Amanda, no, I'm not in trouble with the agency. I don't think Billy would have been willing to recommend me for that job at the state department if I were."

"State department?" Francine questioned. "You're not thinking of leaving the agency?"

"Yes, Francine, I am," Lee answered honestly. "That's what that call to Billy was all about earlier."

"I was wondering about that, the way it seemed that you were speaking to Billy in some kind of code, asking him about what you'd talked about before all the crap with Birol started." She paused for a beat and then asked, "You're really thinking about quitting and going somewhere else?"

"If that's what it takes to look after my family, yes," Lee replied firmly. "I have a responsibility-"

"Lee, we talked about this," Amanda inserted in a warning tone.

"I know and I said I'd sleep on it, but I still think-"

Dotty interrupted before they could start arguing again by clearing her throat loudly to get their attention. "So, now that you know how I know what I know, how about you tell me what I _don't _know?" She gave Lee a stern, scolding look.

"I don't know what you mean," Lee hedged.

"Well, for starters, this rescue you two were just talking about. What exactly happened to my daughter?" She nodded toward the bruise on Amanda's face and asked, "What or whom did you rescue her from and why does she act as if she's scared of her own shadow?" 


	22. Chapter 22

Dotty looked at Lee expectantly who stammered, "Mrs. W-Uh...Dotty, I...Um...I-I-I don't know that this is the best time to...to...you know...get into all that. Amanda's still...you know..."

"Sitting right here," Amanda cut in with a scowl at Lee. "Didn't I already tell you that I don't want you trying to baby me or treating me as if I'm fragile?"

"Oh, Lord, here we go," Francine muttered under her breath, Dotty casting her a bemused look.

"Amanda King, You are the most stubborn, bull-headed-"

"What happened to the best and that bravest," Amanda fired back reminding him of the words he'd spoken when he proposed. "I believe there was even a beautiful in there somewhere." She smiled serenely at him.

Lee opened his mouth to speak, but found he had no response to that. He then shook his head and said, "Yeah, you're all of that too, but-"

"No buts, Lee," Amanda countered. "When you love someone, you have to take the good with the bad. If we're gonna' get married, you're gonna' have to get used to that, you know, the whole for-better-or-for-worse bit."

Dotty laughed and said, "She makes a good point," while Francine just looked on in amusement, firing a grin at Lee across the table.

"Yes, she does," Lee nodded toward Dotty, scowled at Francine and then turned back to Amanda, "But I think in the three years that we've been working together, we've more than proven we can handle the better-and-worse part. It's the in-sickness-and-in-heath part that I'm more concerned with right now."

"I'm not sick," Amanda protested. When the other three all looked at her skeptically, she reiterated, "I'm not! Look, I know that I have some things to work through and I'm not one-hundred percent yet, but I'm getting there and things are starting to get a little clearer."

"Okay, then explain why you thought I was Magda," Francine put in, "And why you thought Magda was trying you hurt you and your baby."

"Magda," Dotty mumbled low, the name ringing a bell, "Magda," She repeated, "That strange Hungarian woman who was at the house for hours on end and drank enough coffee to keep her awake for the next ten years?"

"Yes, Mother," Amanda answered but couldn't help the shudder that accompanied her answer.

"Amanda," Lee said gently as he took her hand as seeing her reaction to Magda's name. "What's going on here? Magda never tried to hurt any of us; in fact she put her own life in danger to help us rescue you."

"No," Amanda shook her head as she began trembling in fear, "Sh-she...she h-h-had a bomb or something in her hands. She-"

"No, Amanda, not a bomb, not in the traditional sense, anyway," Lee explained. "It was a zap gas bomb. She set it off to distract Birol so we could get him and get the hell out of there. I promise you, Amanda, Magda was on our side. She felt she owed it to you for all that you did for her when she defected. She knew that her defection would have been a bust without you looking out for her." Lee explained to her about Magda having been Birol's mistress for three years prior to her defection which had given her the in with him and how she'd used that to her advantage to help him and Francine set Birol up, and how they'd also used Francine's resemblance to Magda to make it work.

"You mean her resemblance to _me_, don't you," Francine interjected with a conceited grin.

"Now, that I think about, the two of you do resemble one another," Dotty mused.

"You see, Amanda?" Lee said. "Magda wanted to help you. If Birol had caught on to what she was doing, he'd have killed her on the spot. She took a big risk for you; it was her way of thanking you for everything that you did for her."

Amanda nodded and relaxed as the pieces began to come together in her mind, the memory of Lee telling her that she wouldn't be able to move for a while, how he'd wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly to reassure her. "I understand." She hung her head and stared at her plate for a moment. "I'm just so mixed up on what really happened," she said gloomily.

"I know, I know you are, but that's why I thought having your mom here, another familiar face, might help."

Amanda released Lee's hand, pushed her plate aside and rose from her seat, "I...um...I think what I really need to do is get it all out, talk about it, and get it all out in the open. I-I-I need to be able to ask some questions about everything that happened and I need some honest answers, no sugar coating."

"Amanda, I don't think that's the best-"

"I mean it, Lee," Amanda said firmly. "No more walking around on eggshells around me," she then glanced at Francine, "From either of you."

Francine gave Lee her arched eyebrow who responded in kind with slight nod, "Um...Amanda...I'm afraid I have to agree with Lee. Dr. Quidd said that it's best to let those memories become clearer on their own and that if we fill in the pieces for you; that might only make your memory loss worse."

"Let's get one thing straight here," Amanda said insistently, her eyes flaring in anger. "I do NOT have any memory loss. I remember _everything_. What's not clear is which of those memories are real and which are part of the hallucinations that were brought on by what Birol did to me."

"O-kay," Francine said doubtfully.

"It's true," Amanda responded at Francine's dubious look as she rose from her seat and stared down the blonde. "And furthermore, Dr. Quidd was the one who insisted that some of the conversations that Lee and I had, that he already confirmed with me were real, were nothing more than some grand delusion that I made up in my head about him being my white knight." She took a deep breath and added, "And while we're on the subject, while I appreciate everything that you've done for me, Francine, what I don't appreciate is you twisting what I told you when I was in the infirmary. I never once told you that I didn't remember Lee proposing to me. What I _actually_ said is that I didn't know if he did or not and that was because it was one of the memories that was fuzzy and was made even fuzzier by Dr. Quidd trying to tell me that it couldn't possibly be real and that I needed to block out all of those fantasy images from my head. So, I don't believe that he's the best authority on how I should handle this and try to put the pieces of this puzzle together."

"Okay, Amanda, okay," Lee said as he too rose from his seat and took her hand in an attempt to cool her temper. After the way Amanda had reacted to Quidd showing up at his door, he had to admit that he was inclined to agree with her. Talking about it now, even though she was irritated to the point of being angry, for the first time since he'd brought her home, her emotional distress wasn't due to fear and it was the first time she'd been able to say both Quidd's and Birol's names without trembling, stammering or without the look of panic in her eyes. Maybe they were on the right track by helping her fill in the gaps in her puzzled mind.

Francine also stood and in an attempt to ease the tension in the room, stated, "Well, since it seems that everyone's done here, how about I get this all cleaned up and we can all sit down in the living room where we'll be more comfortable. Then we can talk. I know how it makes you crazy not to have everything in order."

A little twinge of guilt hit Amanda as her flare-up at Francine. She sighed as she thought about how she was just trying to help. "Let me help," she suggested in a conciliatory tone. "You shouldn't have to do it all. You've done so much already."

"Amanda, you should take it easy," Lee argued.

"Stop it!' Amanda snapped, turning her frustration on him. "How many times do I have to say it? I'm not helpless!" At the hurt look that crossed Lee's features, she quickly backpedalled, "Lee, I'm sorry. I-I-I just feel like I need to dosomething normal to start _feeling_ normal again."

"Yeah," Lee responded with a nod as he recalled his words to Francine about how household chores helped to ground her. "Sure," he said, but still had a skeptical look on his face as he reached for the coffee pot on the table, pouring himself a refill just for something to do with his hands.

"Well, then that works out perfectly," Dotty declared cheerfully in an attempt to lighten the mood as she pushed back her chair. "I'm sure with you two working together, you'll make quick work of this mess and while, you're doing that, it will give me some more time to get to know my future son-in-law.' She then linked her arm with Lee's and pulled him toward the direction of the living room.

"But-" Lee protested with a rescue-me look at Amanda who just shook her head and smiled as she began to gather up the dishes from lunch.

As Amanda and Francine made their way into the kitchen together, Francine paused at the doorway, chuckling at Lee being dragged off by Dotty and joked, "Why do I have a feeling that he'd be safer in the hands of the KGB's finest?"

Amanda laughed in return and answered, "I think that by the time my mother's done with him he'll wish we were on one of those boring stakeouts that he hates with a passion or doing his own reports for once. I think that would be less painful for him."

The two women laughed together as Amanda began making dishwater and Francine retreated to the dining room to finish clearing the table. When she returned, it was with a more serious expression, "Amanda?"

"Hmm?' Amanda replied turning to face Francine. At seeing the grim expression the other woman wore, she took a deep breath as she tried to reign in her agitation. "Look, if you're going to tell me again that you don't think that I should try to get my mind together-"

"No, Amanda, I wasn't going to say anything like that. I...Um...I wanted to ask you about what your plans are..." She paused for a moment as she set down the stack of plates she held in one hand and sipped at the coffee she held in the other. "You and Lee, I mean."

"Haven't you been paying attention, Francine? We're getting married; we're having a baby-"

"I know all that, Amanda," Francine interrupted. "But I mean, long-term. I have known Lee for a long, long time and while he's a great guy and the most loyal friend you could ever have, he's never been one for the long-term commitments-"

"Doesn't this look like a long-term commitment to you, Francine," Amanda replied as she held up her left hand to display the diamond ring there.

"Look, you said you didn't want sugar coating, so here it is," Francine stated as she slammed her coffee cup down on the counter. "While it's very obvious that Lee cares deeply for you and that he wants to do the right thing by you and your baby, his past is well...Let's just say that it's colorful enough that leprechauns would follow it looking for a pot of gold."

"Don't you think I know that? News flash, I have a past too or have you forgotten that I have two children?"

"Okay, no, I haven't forgotten, but that's different. As noble as his intentions are and as much as he cares for you, I'm just worried that Lee may not be cut out for marriage, where you...you had a ten-year marriage and-"

"Which ended," Amanda replied pointedly. "Did it ever occur to you that maybe I'm the one who's not cut out for marriage? I mean, you saw how Lee and I were arguing just now. Maybe my marriage to Lee won't last any longer than my first one did, I don't know, but if we just give up without even trying, then we'll never know if it will or won't."

"But what if it doesn't...last, I mean? Then you're a single mom raising his kid by yourself," Francine began, but was once again cut off by Amanda.

"Then I'd be no worse off than I am now. I'm already a single mom and have been for a long time. Even if, God forbid, something did happen and Lee and I split up, I know one thing for sure. It wouldn't matter if we weren't together; he'd be there for our child, no matter what. Just look at the way he was raised by his uncle...he'd feel the same responsibility to his child. I have that much faith in him. What I don't understand is why you don't have that same faith in him when you've known him longer than I have." Francine was silent, realizing that she didn't have an answer for that.

While Francine and Amanda were having their debate in the kitchen, Dotty and Lee were having one of their own in the living room. Once she'd finally let go of him, Lee had flopped down on the sofa wearily while Dotty sat in the armchair opposite him, staring him down, "All right, Mr. Stetson, while Amanda's occupied, I want you to tell me everything that happened to her and I mean, _everything_."

"Mr. Stetson?" Lee questioned sensing that her cheeriness at the table had been a front for Amanda's sake. She was good. He had a feeling that was where Amanda came by her talent for concocting a good cover. With the way his future mother-in-law was glaring at him, he surmised that was also where Amanda gained her skill for reducing someone to size of a Lilliputian with just a withering look. He, himself was feeling very small under Dotty's piercing gaze. "What...um...what happened to being on a first-name basis?"

"Oh, that," Dotty scoffed with a wave of her hand. "That was for Amanda's benefit. It's quite apparent to me that she's under a great deal of stress and I'm not about to add to that, so, now that we're alone, I want to know what's causing that stress."

"There's...um...there's only so much that I can tell you," Lee hedged. "Doing what we do, a lot of things are classified." In truth, he couldn't bring himself to tell the mother of the woman he loved that he'd failed her and failed their unborn child.

"Didn't you hear me say in there that I'm not stupid? I know you can't give me away any government secrets, but you can tell me enough to know what happened to my daughter. You told her that you thought having me here could help her, but how can I help if I don't know what's going on?"

"You're right," Lee nodded and began to lay out the whole sordid tale for her about Birol and his abduction of Amanda. By the time he'd finished with, "And now, we're just trying to help her sort out in her mind what was hallucination and what wasn't," Dotty's expression toward him had softened at seeing his pained, guilt-ridden face.

"Oh my god, my poor baby." she said softly.

"And mine," Lee said grimly as he thought of what both Dr. Quidd and Dr. Kelford had said about the risk of miscarriage. While he didn't trust Quidd as far as he could throw him, he did trust Dr. Kelford.

"Speaking of which, you said that you only found out about Amanda's pregnancy yesterday morning, but you came by the house yesterday afternoon, so why did you dodge my questions about it?" Lee ran a hand through his hair, rose from his seat and began pacing. "Lee?" she said when he didn't answer.

"So, we're back on a first-name basis," He jested, but his attempt at a joke fell flat as his heart wasn't really in it. He halted in his pacing, fixed Dotty with a worried look and answered, "There are several reasons that I didn't say anything. The first is that I had just found out myself and that Amanda knew she was pregnant and didn't tell me, so it hadn't quite sunk in yet. To be honest I'm still processing it. A man finding out he's going to be a father is a huge deal."

"It should be," Dotty responded in agreement, already gaining more respect for Lee.

"Another reason that I didn't answer you is that I just met you and I-I-I just didn't know how you'd react to finding out that I got your daughter pregnant. I-I-I've been trying for almost two months now to work up the courage to ask her to marry me and it just...something always happened...the timing was just never right, like when we had to run from the agency. That was just one of many things that stopped me from asking her. Then when they told me she was having trouble picking out what was real and what wasn't, I figured that she didn't even remember me proposing once I finally did and I before I could face talking to you, I wanted you to know that I'm committed to Amanda, even though we're not married yet. I want to spend my life with her and I have for a very, very long time."

"You know, you could have just told me all of that at the house. I already knew that the two of you had taken off together back in September, so it wouldn't have been a shock to me to find out that you were the father of her unborn child. I knew that she must have had some very strong feelings for you herself or she'd have never left with you."

Lee nodded, opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it again. He cleared his throat loudly and began pacing again.

"There's more, isn't there?" Dotty questioned.

He stopped again and said grimly, "Yeah, there is. The other reason that I didn't say anything is because the agency doctors aren't sure that the baby's going to survive after what Birol did to Amanda."

"What!" came a startled voice from the doorway. Both faces turned to see Amanda there, a look of utter horror on her face as she wrapped her arms protectively around her middle.


	23. Chapter 23

Author's Note: Thanks to all who have been faithfully following this story that turned out to be much longer than I had anticipated. I greatly appreciate the support from all of my readers, those on the site who've posted reviews and those making the very thoughtful comments in the fanfiction group on Facebook, as well as those anonymous guest reviewers that I am unable to reply to. You're all great! There is one bit of dialogue in this chapter that was inspired by a scene in one of my favorite movies, "Steel Magnolias" in which Julia Roberts' character, Shelby, tells her mother not to talk about her like she's not there. I thought it fit this chapter with what's been going on with Amanda and how she's been getting tired of people treating her as if she's lost all her faculties. Hope you all like it.

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Lee immediately rushed to Amanda's side at seeing the look on her face and enveloped her in his arms to comfort her, but she shrank back from him and hissed, "Don't touch me!" but Lee didn't let go.

"Amanda," Lee said soothingly, "It's me, Lee," thinking she was having another of her flashes as they seemed to hit when she was confronted with something unpleasant.

She pushed on his chest in an attempt to get out of his tight embrace and countered, "I know it's you, I'm not delusional this time. I-I-I know it's you and-and now, I know you lied to me." She struggled against him, but he held her fast and when he did, she began beating her fists in frustration against his chest.

"Amanda, come on, talk to me," Lee pleaded. "How did I lie to you?"

"Let me go," She cried as tears streamed down her face, still pounding her fists futilely against the solid wall of his chest. At hearing the commotion, Francine darted into the room prepared to jump in if necessary should Amanda become violent again, but was halted in her tracks by a shake of Lee's head.

Lee released his hold on Amanda as he reached for her hands, bringing both of them to his lips, kissing them softly. He then reached out with one hand to caress her face tenderly, the pain in his eyes evident as he said, "Amanda, please..." When Amanda reached out as if to slap him, he expertly caught her hand in his, now holding both her hands again, and questioned, "You wanna' hurt me? Why? What is it that you think that I did?"

"Y-y-you l-l-lied to me," she sputtered. "M-m-made me think ev-everything was o-o-" Amanda's voice faltered as she felt her knees buckling beneath her.

Lee didn't hesitate a second as he scooped her into his arms and carried her to the couch and sat down with her on his lap, cradled against him. He held her tightly to him as she sobbed against his shoulder in misery, her words muffled in his collar. "Shh, let it out," Lee whispered as he stroked her hair.

Dotty looked at him questioningly, her eyes full of worry for her daughter, for her unborn grandchild. When Lee only shrugged slightly, unsure of what had brought this new wave of Amanda's pain on, she asked, "Is this why you didn't want to tell me what was going on at first? This is what you've been dealing with."

"You don't know the half of it," Francine replied as she sank wearily into the unoccupied armchair across from Dotty.

Amanda pulled her head from Lee's shoulder, took a shuddering breath and said, "Stop talking about it me like I'm not here. I can hear you, you know."

"Ah, there," Lee replied with a warm smile as he brushed a lock of hair from her face, wiping stray tears from her face as he did so. "Now, you're starting to make some sense again." He paused for a beat and then continued, "Now, you wanna' tell me what I supposedly lied to you about, hmm?"

Amanda sniffed, brushed the remaining tears from her face and in a clearer tone, trying to regain her composure. "You...you..." She trailed off, blinking back the tears that were forming in her eyes again, took a deep breath and tried again. "You told me the baby was safe. Why would you do that if it isn't true? Why didn't you tell me that there was a danger that I might lose the baby?"

Lee sighed, clasped her hand in his, idly fiddling with the diamond in her ring and answered, "First of all, the baby _is_ safe from any further harm now that Birol can't get to you anymore. As far as not telling you, I thought you knew there was a risk when I heard you talking to Dr. Kelford about how your pregnancy with Jamie was." He let out a deep breath and continued. "You've been harping on me about babying you, but why do you think that I've been doing it? Kelford gave me a ton of instructions for your care to make sure that that wouldn't happen. Why do you think that I refused to let them give you the antidote to counteract the drugs Birol pumped into you or the neutralizer to the zap gas? They told me those things could hurt our baby. While we're on the subject, I don't want to hear anymore talk about _you_ losing the baby. If that happened, _we_ would be losing the baby. This is my baby too, remember?"

"Of course, I remember, Lee," Amanda answered softly as she squeezed his hand.

"Good. Don't you forget it either," He stated firmly. "I haven't stopped thinking about the possibility since the first time we-" He broke off abruptly, remembering that they were not alone.

"I know," Amanda replied as she lovingly caressed his face. She then gave him a seductive smile and added, "I _was_ there too. In fact, if I recall, I was the one who instigated things since you were taking so long to make up your mind."

"Perhaps we should let you two have a little privacy," Dotty suggested with a nod to Francine.

"You know, I should actually get going anyway," Francine interjected as she stood. "I've already stayed a lot longer than I planned on when I really only came by to bring you guys breakfast."

Lee looked at her a bit helplessly as he didn't want to let go of his fiancee' just yet. Dotty immediately caught on and she, too, stood, saying, "Why don't I walk Miss Desmond to her car so the two of you can talk in private?"

Amanda nodded. "Thank you, Mother and Francine, thanks again, for everything. I owe you."

"Oh, believe me, I'll get paid back the day that I see you dragging his butt down the aisle," Francine quipped as she and Dotty made their way out the door.

Lee laughed and shook his head, "So, are you okay?" he asked more seriously.

"I really wish people would quit asking me that," Amanda answered in irritation. "I've been going through a rough time, but you know something? Having you here with me and Francine and Mother, people that I care about, it helps."

"You care about Francine?" Lee joked.

Amanda rolled her eyes and replied, "We may not be the best of friends, but we have been through a lot together and I-I-I don't know. I guess I trust her now more than I did a couple of years ago. She put her life on the line for me and I'll never forget that or what she's done today to help me, help us."

"She's a good friend," Lee acknowledged. "She went through a lot to help me get you back and I don't mean just from Birol."

"I know, but Lee..." She shifted positions on his lap to face him, leaning her forehead against his, looking into his eyes. "I really am okay." She sighed. "The nightmares probably won't go away for a while, but as long as I've got you beside me to help chase them away, I'll be just fine. There's just this one thing that I can't figure out."

"What's that?" he asked as he held her and idly ran a hand down her back.

"If Dr. Kelford and Dr. Quidd both knew that there was a risk that we might lose the baby, why didn't they answer my questions when I asked if the baby was okay?"

"You asked them about the baby?" Lee questioned.

Amanda nodded. "Until I heard you and Dr. Kelford talking, I didn't even know for sure that I hadn't already miscarried. I-' She paused, swallowed hard, took a deep breath before continuing with, "After what happened to me, what...what Birol did to me...I-I-I was so afraid that I the baby was gone before you ever knew that there was one and now..."

"Shh, don't worry," He whispered and then placed a tender kiss to her lips. "We are going to do everything that we can to make sure that you're healthy so that our baby will be healthy too. I'm sorry, Amanda, if I'd known that you didn't know there was a risk, I'd have told you right away."

"Would you?" she asked skeptically. "Or is that one of those things that you would have kept from me in the name of protecting me?"

"No, I definitely would have told you." He chuckled softly, gave her a mischievous grin and added, "Maybe if I had, you wouldn't have been so pissed at me for trying to take care of you. I...I...Aw, hell, Amanda, I don't know. All I know is that I want you to be better so we can move forward with our plans for the future."

"I _am_ better," Amanda insisted. When Lee looked at her dubiously, she stated, "I am! Look, Dr. Kelford did say that all it might take to clear my head is to let the drugs clear out of my system, get some good solid rest and some real food and to be around people who love me and I...Well, I think he was right, especially about the people-who-love me part." She leaned in and lightly brushed her lips to his.

"I _do _love you, Amanda," Lee replied softly as he pulled her head down to his for another kiss this one more lingering than the last. Amanda slid her hands into his hair tugging on his head to deepen their connection moaning softly against him as the familiar desire she felt for him began to build.

"Ahem," Dotty's voice sounded from the doorway causing the pair to break their passionate kiss, but still held onto one another as they turned to face her. "I'm sorry. Maybe I should have knocked when I came back up."

"No, Dotty," Lee argued. "I invited you here, so that's not necessary. We...um...we were just..." He looked to Amanda for help who simply smiled at him and shook her head, "Um...making up? You know, from our argument."

"So, I see," Dotty responded dryly. She then turned her attention to Amanda and inquired, "So, is this where you've been spending all of your "work" weekends?"

"Mother," Amanda replied with a roll of her eyes.

"What?" Dotty said impatiently. "It's not such an unreasonable question to ask, is it? Now that I know for sure that you're expecting." She looked around and added, "Not that I can blame you. For an apartment, this is a very lovely place. Very homey."

"Well, A lot of that has to do with Amanda," Lee said. "To be honest, before I met Amanda, I never really gave much thought to where I lived because I wasn't much of a homebody, but now..." He smiled affectionately at Amanda. "Now, I find I like being at home since I have someone to share it with."

"I hope that's still true once the two of you get married," Dotty said as she resumed her seat across from them in the armchair she'd vacated earlier. "With two boys and a baby on the way, you're going to have a very full house."

"Speaking of which, I'm going to need a lot of help from you to make plans," Amanda told her mother. "Wedding plans, I mean. After all, the wedding's going to have to be pretty soon if I don't want to look like a whale on our wedding day."

"I had a thought about that," Lee interjected. "Since this is November first and it's next month is..."

"Maybe a Christmas wedding," Amanda completed his thought for him.

"That's my girl," Lee laughed, amazed that with all she'd been through, she was still so attuned to his thoughts.

"I think that's a lovely idea," Dotty exclaimed, "And you know, I'll just bet that Reverend Mills would fit you in between Christmas services. I'm going to call him right now. That is, if you don't mind me using your phone."

"No, not at all," Lee answered, shaking his head at Dotty's exuberance.

As Dotty picked up the phone, Amanda said to him, "Don't give me that look. You're the one who invited her here."

"I'm glad that I did. I think having her here was just what you needed."

"Having you here too helped a lot," Amanda added, "And even Francine. I just can't believe that my mother knew all this time about the agency and never said a word. She's better at keeping secrets than I thought."

"And with her interrogation skills, she's make a hell of an agent," Lee jested earning him a resounding smack from Amanda.

"Don't you even think about recruiting my mother! Two spies in the family is quite enough."

"Listen, when I talked to Billy on the phone, he's giving both of us the next week off, one, to give you time to recover and two, to give us some time to make some concrete plans."

As she glanced at her mother on the phone, she chuckled and replied, "I don't know about that one. I think mother will make all the plans without any help from us."

"You know what? Let her," Lee said as he wrapped his arms tightly around her. "I don't care as long as we make it to our wedding day."

Dotty returned, having finished her phone call and said, "Well, you've got your date. He couldn't do it on Christmas day, but how does Christmas Eve sound?"

Lee and Amanda looked at one another and then back at Dotty and answered in unison, "Perfect,"

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The following Friday after Amanda had had a few sessions with Claudia who'd determined that she was recovering nicely from her mental distress followed by an appointment with her own obstetrician who'd declared that contrary to Dr. Quidd's pooh-poohing, Dr Kelford's original assessment had been correct that the baby was just fine, Lee strode purposefully through the bullpen, whistling jauntily, a small stack of thick envelopes in his hand. He walked into Billy's office to find him there with Dr. Quidd who was saying, "It's about time."

Lee looked at Billy curiously who answered his look with, "Dr. Quidd will be returning to work on Monday now that Amanda's on the road to recovery."

"Ahh," Lee said.

"That's good news," Quidd said to Lee with a sheepish look.

Lee nodded at Quidd's attempt to bury the hatchet, then turned to Billy, "More good news," he said as he handed he boss one of the envelopes, "For you and Jeannie." Billy smiled in response.

"What's that," Quidd asked with a nod toward the envelopes still in Lee's hand.

"Wedding invitation," Lee answered tersely then added with a devilish grin as he waved the remaining invitations in his face, "And just so we're clear, you're _not_ getting one of these." He then turned back to Billy and asked, "Have you seen Francine?"

"Down in crypto," Billy answered. He paused for a moment and said, "By the way, Amanda's been approved to come back to work on Monday."

"Good," Lee replied.

Billy held up his invitation proudly and said, "As for this, I wouldn't miss it for anything in the world. It's been a long time coming."

"Yeah, it has," Lee answered. _Too damn long_, he thought as he recalled all of his thwarted attempts to ask Amanda to marry him, but found that he couldn't stop smiling now that they were finally on their way to being the "regulars' that Norman had once called them. "I should go find Francine and give her her invitation. Even though she's Amanda's maid of honor, she'll still be pissed if she doesn't get a personal invitation."

Billy chuckled and said, "Well, we'll just keep it between us that you gave me mine first then."

Lee gave Quidd a mock salute as he walked out the door, happier than he'd been in a long time.


	24. Chapter 24

A week later, sitting down to catch his breath after retrieving the disk containing the Kalihari list, Billy beamed with pride at watching the way that Amanda handled herself, training her revolver on Rashidi, while Lee had been busy cuffing Kimambo, Her recovery from the torture inflicted upon her at the hands of Addi Birol, now a distant memory. In watching her, he believed it to have made her that much better an agent, her apprehension to handling a gun even seeming to have faded. When she handed over the disk and the gun, then ran off to call an ambulance, he looked at Lee and said, "She's gonna' be just fine." Lee nodded and smiled back, Billy's double meaning clear as day, as he thought of just how right he was. He too beamed with pride at how far his partner come and was now counting down the days until they'd become partners for life.

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At the beginning of the new year, returning from their honeymoon, Lee and Amanda walked happily into the bullpen hand in hand heading for the conference room for their morning briefing, amid cries of "Welcome back" and "Congratulations." Upon entering the conference room and seeing Dr. Quidd there, Lee tightened his grip on his wife's hand wondering how she'd react since this would be the first time she'd been in the same room with Quidd since that day in his old apartment that he'd now vacated to begin his new life with his new family. Amanda gently squeezed his hand in return and smiled at her husband, saying softly enough for only him to hear, "I'm okay," and then sliding her free hand to the slight bulge in abdomen, amended her statement, "_We're_ okay." She then glanced at Quidd who hadn't yet seemed to notice the entrance of the pair as he was embroiled in a conversation with another agent.

Lee couldn't help noticing Amanda watching Quidd and the way she bit down on her lower lip as she did so. "Amanda," he said in a low warning tone. "I don't like this. You've got that _look_." He knew that look of hers all too well, it was the one that said she was about to use her sweet, friendly nature to completely humiliate someone.

Amanda smiled innocently. "Look? What look?" Lee rolled his eyes as Amanda released his hand and marched straight over to Dr. Quidd. "I hate to interrupt your conversation, but I wondering if I couldn't have a moment of your time, Dr. Quidd."

"What is it, Amanda? Are you still having nightmares?" He asked and then shot a smug look Lee's direction. "Maybe we should set up an appointment for you to come and see me if your sessions with Claudia aren't helping you on that front."

"Oh, no, that's not it at all, Dr. Quidd, Claudia's been a tremendous help," Amanda replied sweetly with a loving gaze at her new husband, "And with my husband by my side, the nightmares are long gone. In fact, it's just the opposite. My life right now is a dream come true and it just occurred to me in seeing you sitting here that I have you to thank for that."

"Oh, Lord, here we go again," Francine muttered under her breath. She'd learned by now just when Amanda was about to unleash, only unlike her, she'd do it in such a sweet non-threatening way that it would take the insulted party a moment or two to realize that they'd been insulted. She, herself, preferred the more direct approach of a well-placed barb or two to make her point, but she had to admit that she got a tremendous amount of entertainment at observing Amanda's more subtle tactics.

"Oh?" Quidd gave her a questioning look, wondering how on earth she could think that when he'd been telling her all along that the man she'd just been foolish enough to marry would never be the type to stay committed. It was only a matter of time before she found herself in divorce court again.

"Well, really it all goes back to Stemwinder," Amanda began to explain.

"Stemwinder," Quidd questioned as he leaned slightly back in his chair and folded his arms across his chest. "How so?"

Quidd glanced at Lee looking for an answer just as Billy entered the room ready to start the meeting. Billy glanced first at Quidd, then at Lee, giving him a curious look who leaned toward him and said softly in his friend's ear, "Wait for it."

Amanda keeping her tone light and even answered Quidd by saying, "Well, you know, all the trauma I went through after I was abducted and all the time off that I had to take because of it, really got me to thinking and when I was, I thought about how and when things between Lee and me really changed and became more serious. I mean, we'd been seeing each other for almost a year, but we'd gotten into this kind of holding pattern, only without any real holding." She gave her husband a pointed look as a reminder of how dense he'd been in those days when she'd been dropping boulder-sized hints that she was ready to move forward and take the next step and he'd missed every one of them.

"It wasn't until you forced Lee into that peacock dance with Sonja Chenko and the aftermath of that, that things really progressed in our relationship and put us on the path that we're on now. Lee told me that he loved me for the first time during that whole stressful time, which of course, I reciprocated and then when we were on the run being treated like criminals by our own people, including you, that was when we...well, that was when our holding pattern ended, if you know what I mean. That was when this baby was conceived, after all." She winked at Lee from across the room before turning back to Quidd and continuing.

"Then after I was abducted by Addi Birol and was just trying to get my bearings, the way you treated me as if I were delusional when I told you that Lee asked me to marry him, the way that you insisted that I needed drug therapy to recover, well..." She glanced around to the other occupants of the conference room, "We _all_ know Lee and how bad his temper can be at times. That just set him off because he's very protective of me and now that he knows he's going to be a father, he's just as protective of our baby, which makes him even more protective of me. He would never have let you do anything to hurt our child and now, here we are, two months later, fresh from our honeymoon, happily married, with a healthy baby on the way and we owe it all to you and your sheer stubbornness. I just want you to know that whatever happens between us from here on out is all because of you and your single-mindedness, so, thank you." She gave him a serene smile and then turned on her heel and strode back to the other side of the room where Lee was holding out her chair for her.

As Amanda settled into her seat and Lee took his seat beside her, clasping her hand in his as he beamed at her, Dr. Quidd gaped at them and sputtered, "But-but-"

"All right, People," Billy bellowed. "Let's cool the chit-chat and get down to business." He glanced at Amanda and couldn't help the wide grin the spread across his face at the way she'd put Quidd in his place far better than even Dr. Smyth had. He smiled at his favorite couple, happier than ever that he'd made the decision to hire Amanda and pair them together in the hopes that she'd be the one to fill in the missing pieces of the Scarecrow puzzle. What he hadn't counted on was him filling the missing pieces of hers as well, creating one complete picture. 


End file.
